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This page is a compilation of character quotations from the television show Numb3rs. The CBS crime drama stars Rob Morrow as FBI agent Don Eppes, David Krumholtz as his brother, Charlie, and Judd Hirsch as their father, Alan. Numb3rs uses mathematical concepts to solve crimes.
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- Tagline: "We all use math every day"
- Season 5 premiere: October 3, 2008
- New episodes: Friday 10pm/9pm(central)
- Network: CBS
- First aired: January 23, 2005
- Set at the fictional California Institute of Science, based on Cal Tech
- Theme music: "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads
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Cast
- Rob Morrow as Don Eppes
- David Krumholtz as Charlie Eppes
- Judd Hirsch as Alan Eppes
- Alimi Ballard as David Sinclair
- Navi Rawat as Amita Ramanujan
- Dylan Bruno as Colby Granger
- Diane Farr as Megan Reeves
- Peter MacNicol as Dr. Larry Fleinhardt
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Categories
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Don Eppes (Rob Morrow)
- IMDB: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Low-key and memorable aren't mutually exclusive. You know what my favorite date ever was? Pepperoni pizza at a laundromat."
- "Hey. Well, I'm ready to party like it's 1899."
- "Hold on. You know I got, like, a C in physics, so just take me through how this relates to the case."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "I gotta tell you dad, I can't think of anyone who could have helped us the way Charlie did in this investigation."
- "(Speaking to suspects) I'm assuming you all have permits for those bulges in your jackets?"
- "I'm cool until everything quiets down. Then it's like my head is a bad neighborhood to be in."
- Redhawke.org Numb3rs Quotes
- "So no one gets left behind, they just don't get started to begin with."
- "Never been in combat, but I've been in my share of fire fights and you know what scares the hell out of me? It's not dyin'; it's letting my guys down."
- (Describing Charlie) "A curly-headed blackhole that could suck the air out of the universe."
Charlie Eppes (David Krumholtz)
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Everything is numbers."
- "It's from someone who says she's a fan of my work on low dimensional topology. And she's a fan of my... hair."
- "Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Heisenberg noted that the act of observation will effect the observed; in other words, when you watch something, you change it, and uh, uh, for example, an electron, you know, you can't really measure it without bumping into it in some small way. Any physical act of observation requires interaction with a form of energy, like light, and that will change the nature of the electron, its path of travel."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Math is nature's language; its method of communicating directly with us. Everything is numbers."
- "What flavor of crazy Kool-Aid do they make you drink before you join the physics department? "
- "I like walking. You know that's like.. that's my sport. You got hockey, you got baseball. I walk."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "If there's any limitation its's got to be in the mathematician, not the math."
- "Let's all sit down at a ouiji board and solve P vs NP once and for all."
- "Larry, it was never my intent to go down in history as some crack-pot expert."
Alan Eppes (Judd Hirsch)
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Oh. Your brother goes into a dangerous confrontation with heavily armed felons, and you prepare him with a lecture on the movement of subatomic particles?"
- (About Charlie) "He was three when he multiplied four-digit numbers in his head. By the age of four, he needed special teachers, special classes. My wife - I mean, his mother and I, we put a lot of time into his education. It was Don who was the one who had to get used to taking care of himself."
- "Well, I like coming whenever Charlie gives one of these math-for-dummies lectures. It's the only time I actually understand what he's talking about."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Just remember how Charlie is; can't seem to quit a problem. He's still working on the same one he's had since grade school."
- "Listen, Charlie, if you've got one failing it's only that you don't think like a criminal... 'Course what does that say about me?"
- "You're ruining the game for the schmucks who play it to enjoy."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "That's what he needs, a seminar from the dateless wonder."
- "Larry, I'm going to give you the same advise I've given to all the geniuses I know ... don't be an idiot."
- (Regarding Charlie's attempt to grill ribs) "That looks like the Petrified Forest."
David Sinclair (Alimi Ballard)
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "The dude has always made me crazy. Ever know anyone like that?"
- "Any hunch from Charlie is like a hunch plus."
- "Why couldn't you have just said that to begin with?"
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Is gazillion a real number?"
- "I'm not here to try and restore your faith in the system; I'm just trying to find his killer."
- "The bridge didn't kill me once today, might as well give it another shot."
Amita Ramajuan (Navi Rawat)
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Back in Madras, my parents arranged for marriage to a family friend, a nice Hindu banker from Goa."
- "Charlie, where did you learn all this stuff about assassination?"
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "So, because the sex was great, the odds are against it ever being great again."
- "Too often I feel as though my work is really your work."
- "We had a DTMF decoder...that's a Dual-tone multi-frequency. It's touchtone."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "I can see where you might have some trouble selling a woman on the idea of carrying your worm-hole."
- "I'm all for giving up wealth and material possessions."
- "What was that, geek trash-talk?"
Colby Granger (Dylan Bruno)
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Colonel in Special Ops said he was the bastard son of Clint Eastwood and Yoda."
- "Just nod your head and wait for the punch line."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "It's a white-collar fraud case. Nobody expected Martha Stewart to go down in a hail of bullets."
- "No, I got a whole 'nother kidding face."
- "A=B=C=D. It's like one of Charlie's equations ... I can't believe I just said that."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Start telling us what we want to know or think about a defibrillator for Mommy."
- (Regarding a suspect running in a towel) "Who's gonna tackle this guy?"
- "The real question is how much of forever you want to spend in jail."
Megan Reeves (Diane Farr)
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Well, I didn't run away from home at 16, but I didn't walk either. And unlike Crystal, I can live with most of my decisions. Does that make you uncomfortable?"
- (Holding up a bioterrorism weapon) "I love these. They make great lattes."
- "You know, I don't think I will ever get tired of being compared to the M57 Nebula."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Sometimes people say things to be noticed because being ignored is worse than being blamed."
- "If you're gonna arrest people that are one hundred pounds heavier that you, you're gonna need to learn some hobbies."
- "Naked car-jacking ... it's the worst kind."
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt (Peter MacNicol)
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- "Okay, well, Charles, you are a mathematician, you're always looking for the elegant solution. Human behavior is rarely, if ever, elegant. The universe is full of these odd bumps and twists. You know, perhaps you need to make your equation less elegant, more complicated; less precise, more descriptive. It's not going to be as pretty, but it might work a little bit better. Charlie, when you're working on human problems, there's going to be pain and disappointment. You gotta ask yourself, is it worth it?"
- "I mean, one-one student even said I'm out of touch in cutting-edge thinking in multidimensional theory. That one alone kept me up at night."
- (About going to lunch with Megan) "This was a meal shared by two inquisitive minds in an intellectual pursuit."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- "Here's a discussion: Why is it we remember the past and not the future?"
- "Let me ask one thing. When we met just now, was I coming or going in to the library?"
- "Children are wormholes. They're portals into the unreachable future and unattainable past."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- "What's that old saying? Applied Physicists are from Venus, Theoretical Physicists ..."
- "Real science is discovery, Charles, it's not invention. The truths are there whether we find them or not."
- "I sense a big hairy but coming. Ooooo, pardon my terrible pun."
Dialogue
- IMDb: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
- Charlie Eppes: "Don't call me Chuck."
- Don Eppes: "What if I called you 'Chuckie'"?
- Charlie Eppes: "What if I called you 'Donald'"?
- Don Eppes: "What if I called you 'Nerd'?"
- Alan Eppes: "You know, Don and Charlie, they graduated high school on the same day."
- Terry Lake: "Thank you. Don's mentioned it. A few times."
- Alan Eppes: "Kind of puts an edge on that sibling rivalry thing, you know."
- Terry Lake: "I'm sure it does. Having a kid like Charlie had to put some unusual pressure on the family. How old was he when you first realized he was exceptional?"
- Alan Eppes: "He was three when he multiplied four-digit numbers in his head. By the age of four, he needed special teachers, special classes. My wife - I mean, his mother and I, we put a lot of time into his education. It was Don who was the one who had to get used to taking care of himself."
- Terry Lake: "Well, he might have gotten used to it, but I'm not sure he's as good at it as he thinks he is."
- Alan Eppes: "Well, it's hard for him to ask anyone for help. And it's really hard for him to ask Charlie."
- Don Eppes: [picks up paper airplane off floor] "Who made this?"
- Charlie Eppes: "Me. Why?"
- Don Eppes: "Well, wings are a little thin here, buddy."
- Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: "Hey, wait, wait, let me see this."
- Charlie Eppes: "Forgive me if all my years of advanced applied mathematics take issue with that assessment."
- Don Eppes: "Yeah, well, you'll forgive me if all my years of high school detention say I'm right."
- Wikiquote: Numb3rs Quotes
- Alan Eppes: "Well, it seems like your new math consultant is working out nicely."
- Don Eppes: "I gotta tell you dad, I can't think of anyone who could have helped us the way Charlie did in this investigation."
- Alan Eppes: "You just remember how Charlie is. Can't seem to quit a problem. He's still working on the same one he's had since grade school."
- Don Eppes: "And what's that?"
- Alan Eppes: "Trying to impress his big brother."
- Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: "You know that term "dark matter" has always perplexed me. It fallaciously implies that the 95% of our universe that cannot be observed is some amorphous, event less, emptiness."
- Amita Ramanujan: "I'm sorry?"
- Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: "I guess it's all too human. Instead of admitting to the present limits of our knowledge we just declare things to be unknowable."
- Amita Ramanujan: "Oh, by the way...Larry called, from his string theory conference. He was confused about something."
- Charlie Eppes: "What, his--his double special relativity theory?"
- Amita Ramanujan: "No. Whether he was in St. Louis or Cleveland."
- Charlie Eppes: *sighs* "He's so geographically challenged. Where is his conference?"
- Amita Ramanujan: "Minneapolis."
- Redhawke.org: Numb3rs Quotes
- Alan Eppes: "When I hooked up all these lights I may have blown a circuit or two."
- Charlie Eppes: "Circuit or two?"
- Alan Eppes: "Yeah. I hope you had the system backed up with that laptop of yours in the garage."
- (Charlie runs from the room.)
- Alan Eppes: "I was just kidding."
- David Sinclair: "What's the first thing a New Yorker notices about LA?"
- Megan Reeves: "No good pizza."
- David Sinclair: "OK, what's the second thing?"
- Megan Reeves: "Get a name?"
- Colby Granger: "And an address. Plug that into your fancy little nav system in your Acura."
- Megan Reeves: "Oh, don't player hate."
- IMDB: Numb3ers Memorable Quotes
