The Onion Halloween

Categories: Entertainment | Halloween
  • Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized is a new video from The Onion, in which a panel from the Onion News Network (established 1896) discusses how sad it is that children no longer understand the true meaning of Halloween.
  • Quotes

    • Americans have totally forgotten what Halloween is about: appeasing evil spirits to ward off sickness and insure a bountiful harvest—Leslie Hillerman, Columnist, The Wall Street Journal
    • My nephew didn't even know that Halloween is to protect his virgin spirit from the wretched dead that roam the earth one night a year to steal souls—Lauralee Hickcok, Southern Lifestyles Section
    • Frightening away demons is the reason for the season!—Lauralee Hickcok
    • In my day, everyone would throw the bones of their slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire.—Leslie Hillerman.
    • In our town, we don't even erect an altar where we can torture animals as a warning to the spectral realm! Someone complained about the howling.—Lauralee Hickcok
    • Not everyone literally believes that phantoms will come and replace their fields will rocks and put a blight upon their house—Duncan Birch, author of "Hallowhy?"
    • A recent poll of American fifth-graders found that 63% could identify the cartoon character Jack Skellington while only 14% could identify Algol, the Ghoul that Dwells in Burial Grounds.—Gregory Dawson, of the Dawson Angle

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