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• This page contains quotes from the American television show, The Office. The Office, which is based on a British show of the same name by Ricky Gervais, stars Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer. The show is about a paper company named Dunder Mifflin and one of its branches in Scranton, PA that is run by an incompetent boss named Michael Scott.

  If you have a suggestion for a favorite quote, please discuss it on the message boards below!

• Fast Facts

  1. Network: NBC
  2. Starring: Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer and B.J. Novak
  3. First aired: March 24, 2005
  4. Tag line: "A comedy for anyone whose boss is an idiot."
  5. Producer Greg Daniels has written for The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live and King of the Hill

• Quotes

  • Jim: "Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."

  • Michael: "That's what she said."

  • Dwight: "You can't fire me, I don't work in this van!"

  • Michael: "Abraham Lincoln once said, 'If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North.'"

  • Dwight: "What's the ratio of Schrute Bucks to Stanley Nickels?"
  • Stanley: "The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns."

  • Jim: "I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, you win."

  • Michael: "I hate so much about the things you choose to be."

  • Jim: "Lord, Beer me strength"

  • Dwight: "The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies."

  • Dwight: "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing."

  • Creed: "I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. Would be no way of knowing."

  • Andy: "Oompa loompa, doompadee dossum, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom."

  • Kevin: "It's like eating a hot circle of garbage."

  • Creed: "I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly."

  • Pam: "I think we broke his brain."

• Related Mahalo Pages

  The Office | The Office Season 5 Premiere | Dunder Mifflin | Dunder Mifflin Infinity | The Office Season Premiere | The Office Episodes | Steve Carell | Rainn Wilson | John Krasinski | Jenna Fischer | B.J. Novak | Greg Daniels | Angela Kinsey | Ed Helms | Creed Bratton | Brian Baumgartner | Melora Hardin | Leslie David Baker | Kate Flannery | Phyllis Smith | Oscar Nunez | Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Office Super Bowl

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