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• This page contains memorable quotes from Stewie Griffin, a fictional character on the hit animated cartoon show, Family Guy. Stewie (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is a precocious, evil mastermind toddler who is hellbent on world domination and killing his mother Lois. He speaks with a British accent, and has a head that's shaped like a football.

• Fast Facts

  1. New episodes: Sundays, 9PM
  2. Network: Fox
  3. Season 8 premieres on September 27, 2009 http://www.tv.com/family-guy/show/348/su...
  4. Seth MacFarlane plays Stewie, Peter, Brian, and Quagmire
  5. A straight to DVD movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story was released in 2005
  6. All-time most popular show on HuluHulu.com: Most Popular Episodes

• Stewie Quotes

  • "What the deuce?"

  • "Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb."

  • "Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight."

  • "Do these huggies make my ass look big?"

  • "There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?'"

  • "Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over."

  • [plucks a banjo] "Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!"

  • "I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES."

• Related Mahalo Pages

  Family Guy | American Dad | Seth MacFarlane | Seth Green | Mila Kunis | Patrick Warburton | Adam West | The Simpsons | South Park

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