Polyamory

Polyamory is a term coined by using two root words: Poly, meaning many and Amory, meaning love. Combined the term polyamory means 'many loves'.

In practice, polyamory is the identifier of a relationship in which there are more than two people, in a loving, committed relationship.

Polyamory is a term that has an ambiguous etymology, but is most frequently attributed to a 1990s writer, with Usenet groups using the name as early as 1992. The term 'poly' means 'many' and 'amory' means 'love', so the new word formed "polyamory" means "many loves".

That is the essence of polyamory: Love. In direct contradiction to swinging or swapping, polyamory can exist both with or without sexual relationships, just as a traditional relationship does or does not include sexual relationships. Polyamory focuses on the love aspect of the relationship.

The belief is that there are some people who are able to, and prefer to, fall in love with more than one person at a time. With Polyamory, it's all about the relationship, the love.

There are several different types of relationships that can fall under the heading of polyamory. It's important to note that polyamory is not the same as polygamy, so we won't discuss those polygamous relationships.

Poly Vee

A poly vee is a polyamorous relationship in which there are two people of one gender and one person of the opposite gender. Generally, a poly vee is two women who are both in a relationship with the same man, or two men both in a relationship with the same women. There usually isn't a bisexual or homosexual component to a polyamory vee, so that the two same-gendered individuals aren't sexually active with one another, but merely in love together with the same person.

Bisexual Poly Vee

A bisexual polyamorous vee relationship is the same as the poly vee listed above, except that one or more of the three members of the relationship is bisexual and is in a relationship or shares sexual activity with both genders. Also, a bisexual poly vee could conceivable consist of three people who are all the same gender.

Homosexual Poly Vee

This is a three-person polyamorous relationship in which all parties are the same gender, and are either homosexual or heterosexual, and therefore are all engaged in a loving relationship with members of the same gender.

Couples and Moreples

Any polyamorous relationship that consists of more then four people can still have components of a vee. For example, for one person, he or she can only be in a loving relationship with two other people, creating the V, but one of the people he or she is in love with can be in a relationship with someone outside of the vee. Then again, a vee relationship doesn't have to exist when four or more people are included. It is possible that polyamorous relationships can grow to expand and include many different types of relationship interactions.

The question of infidelity and non-monogamy comes up whenever polyamory is discusses, because polyamory seems on the surface to be no different than choosing not to be monogamous. However, the clear distinction between non-monogamy and polyamory is made in the communication of the nature of the relationship. That is, people who are in a non-monogamous relationship are simply free to date and become sexually involved with people outside of the relationship. With polyamory, there is communication and discussion about these 'outside' relationships, because with non-monogamy, there is a primary relationship and secondary relationships. With polyamory, all the relationships are primary relationships, and as the relationships grow, it might require adjusting living arrangements to accommodate more than one primary relationship.

Cheating, on the other hand, is going outside of a primary relationship without knowledge or consent of the other person in the relationship. Cheating is a break of trust and faith, and is not part of a healthy, whole relationship. Polyamory is not cheating because every party to the relationship is aware of and gives their consent for the extra-relationship relationship.

In fact, it's not uncommon for polyamorous people to have primary relationships with one person, and be friends with the other primary relationship their partner has inside the polyamorous agreement.

It's all about the communication and consent that makes polyamory different from cheating and non-monogamy. In fact, polyamory isn't non-monogamy, but rather, monogamy multiplied!