NCIS Quotes

NCIS is a television police drama about a team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. The series, which stars Mark Harmon, was a spin-off from the CBS drama JAG.

This page contains links to and information about quotes made by characters on NCIS.

• Mark Harmon as Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs
• Michael Weatherly as Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo
• Cote De Pablo as Ziva David
• Pauley Perrette as Abby Sciuto
• Sean Murray as Special Agent Timothy McGee
• David McCallum as Ducky Mallard
• Brian Dietzen as Jimmy Palmer
• Liza Lapira as Michelle Lee
• Jonathan Magnum as Daniel Keating
• Joe Spano as Tobias C. Fornell

• IMDb: NCIS Quotes
  • Gibbs: "The secret of a good bluff is not to bluff."

• • Gibbs: "Got your 911, Abs. What's up?"
  • Abby Sciuto: "Ready to have your world rocked again?"
  • Gibbs: "I'm barely over the first time."

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "Don't apologize. It's a sign of weakness."

• Ten.com: NCIS Quotes
  • "You two finished playing grabassey or do I need to transfer McGee to a weather station in Antarctica?"

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes

• • (To a body that's been blown up) "I do apologize, usually one scraping is sufficient. But you my friend are oh, so crispy."

• • "Reminds me of this one time..."

• Wikiquote: NCIS Quotes
  • Good lord Gibbs, I just met the deceased.

• IMDb: NCIS Quotes
  • Agent Caitlin Todd: How did you get into NCIS?
  • Tony: I smiled?

• • Kate: "Tony, how long have you been in here?"
  • Tony: Long enough to know you can't sing... and haven't shaved your legs in a week. Outrageous.

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "George Clooney could not get laid in this place!"

• • "Probie!"

• • "On it, Boss!"

• • "He's standing behind me isn't he?"

• Wikiquote: NCIS Quotes
  • The best IT guy in our office is 22, Harvard. When he gets stuck, he calls his 14 year old nephew.

• • "Does your calling plan include the afterlife?"

• IMDb: NCIS Quotes

• • Abby Sciuto: "Oh, that's kind of a gray area."
  • Gibbs: "How gray?"
  • Abby Sciuto: "Charcoal."

• • "You can't rush science, Gibbs! You can yell at it and scream at it, but you can't rush it."

• Fan Site: Abby Forever: Abby Quotes
  • "That's what i love about ya Gibbs, always one finger ahead."

• • "I love it when you talk Geek."

• • "McGee, never forget, I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence."

• • "Come on McGee. Do it for me please, Ill show you my new tat."

• • "What? I talk to myself, got a problem with that?"

• • "Correct as always my silver haired fox... I mean Gibbs... sir... boss... "

• • "I love it when you're rough McGee."

• • NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "You may be smart, but my geek carries a gun!"

• Wikiquote: NCIS Quotes
  • "My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush."

• IMDb: NCIS Quotes

• • "McGee you look like you've seen a goat."

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • (To Tony) "I Will kill you eighteen different ways with this paper clip."

• Ten.com: NCIS Quotes
  • Abby: I was just about to call Tony and McGee. I think they were having sex.
  • Ziva: Tony and McGee?

• • "Lions and spiders and bears, oh my!"

• • Tony: "We [most NCIS agents] never let other people know what we're thinking."
  • Ziva: "Right now you're thinking of doing page 57 with me."

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • Leon: "Langer, made the jump to NCIS 8 months ago from the FBI."
  • Gibbs: "He got no special treatment."
  • Leon: "But you did recommend him."
  • Gibbs: "He called me."
  • Leon: "You endorsed him."

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • Gibbs- "Rule number three; Don't believe what you're told. Always double check."
  • Kate- "Should I write these on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?"

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "Like some species of frogs. I grow what i need."

• Ten.com: NCIS Quotes
  • "Damnit, Tony. I should just take you home and get you into bed. . . Okay, that didn't come out like it was supposed to."

• Wikiquote: NCIS Quotes
  • DiNozzo your mind goes from X to XXX.

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "God only knows what Ziva did in Mossad."

• NCIS Wiki: NCIS Quotes
  • "We have let a robot killer humvee loose on the streets of Washington!"

• • Jenny: "Hello, Cynthia. Hello? Cynthia?"
  • Gibbs: "Nooo."
  • Jenny: "Jethro. I should have recognized the heavy breathing."