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- Created by: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld
- Network: NBC
- Seasons: 9
- Episodes: 180
- Aired: 1990-1998
- Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
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This page contains quotes from "Cosmo Kramer, who is a character on the sitcom Seinfeld. Kramer is Jerry's wacky next door neighbor, who was played by Michael Richards.
Seinfeld aired from 1990 - 1998, and was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. The show followed the petty everyday exploits of comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his three friends, Kramer, George Costanza and Elaine Benes.
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Quotes
- "I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!"
- "I'm tellin ya the pigman is alive. The government's been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties."
- "Giddyup!"
- "Hello, and welcome to movie phone... Why Don't you just tell me the name of the movie you'd like to see?"
- "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious!"
- "I need the chicken Jerry! You can't shut down the chicken place! Kenny never hurt nobody!"
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Kramer Top Quotes
- IMDb: Quotes for Cosmo Kramer
- Jerry: "Where did you get that butcher's coat?"
- Kramer: "You buy enough meat, they'll give you anything."
- "Jerry, it's L.A., nobody leaves. She's a suductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a whore."
- Jerry: "Oh you're crazy"
- Kramer: "Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?"
- Jerry: "It's impossible"
- Kramer: "Is it? or is it so possible your head is spinning like a top?"
- Jerry: "It can't be"
- Kramer: "Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?"
- Jerry: "What the hell is all this?"
- Kramer: "It's my change. I need quarters for the dryer."
- Jerry: "Why can't you do this on your own table?"
- Kramer: "Because I don't have a table."
- Kramer: "What kind of person are you going around killing people?"
- Jerry: "Well, I am sure I had a good reason."
- Kramer: "Well, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?"
- Jerry: "But you know me!"
- Kramer: "I thought I did!"
- Kramer: "I'm tellin ya the pigman is alive. The government's been experimenting with pigmen since the fifties."
- Jerry: "Will you stop it. Just because a hospital gets a grant to study DNA doesn't mean they are creating a race of mutant pigmen."
- Kramer: "Oh, Jerry, wake up to reality. It's military thing. They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors."
- Wikiquote: Seinfeld
- Kramer: "Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop."
- Jerry: "You kept making all the stops?"
- Kramer: "Well, people kept ringin' the bell!"
- Kramer: "No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a definite word."
- Jerry: "I am challenging."
- Kramer: "Quone! To quone something."
- "I feel like I've had two lives. My pre-mousse, and now I begin my post-mousse."
- "I must have been out of my mind. Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life? Sit around here all day, you contribute nothing to society. You're just taking up space. How could I be with someone like you? Couldn't respect myself."
- Kramer: "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious!"
- Jerry: "That's true."
- Kramer: "It's very refreshing!"
- Cylive: Kramerisms
- "It's like having a circus in my mouth."
- "Have you ever met a proctologist? They usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard."
- "Man's Best Friend... Jerry, I want something like that on my tombstone."
- "Isosceles. You know, I love the name Isosceles. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer."
- "Karate. It's a lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony. But with punching and kicking."
- "You know, Darren, if you had told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you were crazy. Now let's push this giant ball of oil out this window."
- "Nobody carries wallets anymore. They went out with powdered wigs."
- Fan Site: Quotes by Kramer
- "You know what you are? You're a ribbon bully!"
- "I've got the body of a taut pre-teen Swedish boy."
- "I need the chicken Jerry! You can't shut down the chicken place! Kenny never hurt nobody!"
- "You know what you are? You're an anti-dentite! It starts with a few jokes and slurs... 'HEY DENTY!' Then you will say that dentists should have their own schools!"
Kramer Quotes Questions
What is the funniest Madeleine Albright quote? 3 Answers“I was in Europe and it was at this stage that I fell in love with Americans in uniform. And I continue to have that love affair.” http://www.defenselink.mil/d... read more
What are some thought-provoking quotes about parenting? 2 AnswersI had this quote in my head and couldn't remember who said it to give credit. I searched and I found this great link that I've included as my source. Enjoy! Don... read more
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- IMDb: Quotes for Cosmo Kramer
