Josh had made it clear from the beginning that he wanted nothing to do with his son. However, I was convinced that he was a better person than that. it's been a year of me trying to get him interested in one way or another- i even felt like we made a little progress around February when he actually returned a phone call- maybe even two. that was all i needed to know that i had been doing the right thing by not hiring lawyers or acting out of emotion. i thought we could have a peaceful coexsistance and that someday, my son would would be able to (at least) call his "father" if he simply wanted to talk. so foolish am i..

After months of delay, i realized that quite possibly, everyone was right about josh; that he really didn't care. recently, through the grapevine, i've heard that josh is saying that the DNA test we took about 10 months ago was inconclusive. even though i have a DNA test that came back negative from our preferred potetntial father, and josh's test came back with a very different result, josh is still saying that the child isn't his. i guess he needs more than a 99% to be convinced. maybe he has a twin with with idedntical DNA that he believes me to have slept with. even though josh admitted to being the father of asa, he is now changing his story. i'm assuming it has something to do with his lawyers. it's funny how lawyers are.. i wonder if they really think about the effects of their actions. if they are in support of a client not paying child support and using their knowledge that ultimately reflects the life of a little boy, then i am disgusted. josh has not returned any emails or calls since April when he said he'd call me when his "lawyers got back in town". they must be on summer vacation.

Well, josh, happy father's day, sweetheart, you give ass holes out there something to look up to. :)" — Kendal SheppardMySpace: Kenday Sheppard MySpace Blog (June 10, 2008)