How to Write a Love Song for your Girlfriend

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  • Whether it's Valentine's Day, your anniversary, or any other special day for you and your significant other, a love song can convey how you feel more eloquently than mere words. Because there's so much more at stake here than when you're writing any other kind of song, there are a few specific things to keep in mind. This guide is designed to help you write not just a song, but the perfect love song for the special person in your life.

  • Mahalo Daily: How to Write a Love Song

  • Introduction

    • Ah, spring has arrived, when a young man's fancy turns to love. Or maybe Valentine's Day is right around the corner and she's catching on that your annual heart-shaped box of chocolates keeps coming from the same CVS around the corner. Or maybe it's your 7½ month anniversary and you are finally ready to tell her how you feel. Then again, maybe you're just in the doghouse and an "I'm sorry" Hallmark card (also bought at CVS) just won't be enough to dig you out.
    • Whatever the occasion, there are plenty of good excuses to sit down and write a sappy—er, heartfelt—love song to your special lady. But if you don't know the first thing about how to begin expressing those "emotions" you seem to keep feeling, fear not—you've come to the right place. This page will give you the lowdown on how to spill your guts into a melody and make her swoon. Or at least laugh out loud.

  • The Lyrics

    • Let's face it, the words will be the crux of your awesome love song. As long as your lyrics are sincerely smitten, the chords you play behind them could be "Smoke on the Water" for all she will care. So if there's one thing you're gonna need to make sure you get right, it's the lyrics. If you're not much of a wordsmith, it's about time you learned a thing or two.
    1. Choose a theme. Obviously the overall theme is your girlfriend, but that can still be a pretty broad subject matter. Choosing a more specific topic, though not a requirement, might help streamline the creative process.
      • Write about how she's always there for support when you need her.
      • Write about the fact that she sticks with you despite your many, many flaws.
      • Write about the time you first met, or another significant moment in your relationship.
      • Write about something specific about her that you notice that nobody else does.
    2. Use her name. Including her name in the song adds that personal touch that says, "I didn't write a generic love song years ago about an ex and now I'm regifting it to you." Or at least it says that you made the effort to change your ex's name in the original song.
      • If you can use her name for a prominent hook in the song, that makes it all the more special.
      • When desperation sets in, try taking a famous song and using her name instead. Sing the song "Sandy" or "Andi" to the tune of Barry Manilow's "Mandy." Keep in mind, of course, that plagiarism is a serious thing—so if you're planning on recording your song, you'll want to avoid this tactic!
    3. Compare her to something pretty. To really melt her heart, try comparing her to other things of generally accepted beauty.
      • Good: Your lips are red like a delicate rose.
      • Bad: Your lips are red like gushing blood and remind me of vampires.
      • Good: Your eyes are a shimmering sea of blue.
      • Bad: Your eyes are dark like black holes in your face.
    4. Be self-deprecating. Admit it, you probably don't really deserve her. Even if you do, now is the time to pretend like you think you don't. Express your doubts of how she could really love a lowly guy like you. Wonder aloud as to how you got so lucky to end up with her.
    5. Wax romantic. Lyrics are poetry. Make it sound like you actually tried.
      • You'll want your lines to be eloquent and poetic. Being conversational is a lot more bland and less mysterious.
      • Keep it going with the metaphors. Your love is like a blooming rose, being with her makes your heart do jumping jacks, etc.
      • Cheesy is actually good. Girls seem to respond well to cheesy lyrics and music.
      • Say "baby" a lot. Add other pet names such as "honey" and "darling" to taste.
      • Avoid sounding creepy or stalker-like if at all possible. If this seems like a tall order, you may want to rethink your songwriting strategy.
    6. Rhyming sure is catchy. Bonus points will be added if you can include a good rhyme with her name, but certain names may cause problems. Try using a rhyming dictionary if you get stuck.
      • You can get creative with words such as: "Erica, the cutest girl in America," or "Carrie, the thought of life without you sure is scary."
      • You can even make up words if need be. "Leah, as pretty as can be-a."
      • Avoid rhyming with her name if it kills the mood of the song. "Susan, you're the girl that I be choosin'" and "Haley, your skin is dry and scaley" are good examples of this.
      • If you can't come up with a good, appropriate rhyme for her name, move on to rhyming other applicable words such as "pretty," "love," and "commitment."
    7. Repeat the chorus. You can write all the lyrics you want, but they won't mean too much if she immediately forgets them when your song is over. Combat this by writing a memorable chorus.
      • The chorus is usually best with fewer words so it's easy to remember.
      • Including her name in the chorus is a big plus.
      • Make it catchy. Make it happy. Make it snappy.
    8. Get inspired. Listen to some other awesome love songs to get some good lyrical ideas.
    9. Mean it. When it comes down to it, just write lyrics that are real and from the heart. This is your one chance to overcome your crippling fear of emotional vulnerability and tell her how you really feel!

  • Melody and Arrangement

    • Okay, so we already established that the lyrics are the most important part of your song. But saying that the music is chopped liver in comparison might have been a mild hyperbole. As it turns out, the way you sing those lyrics is pretty important, too!
    1. Choose your instrument. You're gonna want to grab a guitar or piano to start writing the music.
      • Stick to instruments that you can play and sing at the same time. This will be tough to do with a saxophone.
      • If you can't play any instruments, you have a problem. You'll have to find someone who can play to help you write the song and perform it as well. The moment might not be quite as special with a guitarist staring at the two of you as you sing.
    2. Chords don't matter much, as long as you choose them wisely. The chord progression can be just about whatever you want as long as you stick to a few general guidelines:
      • Minor keys are much darker and more depressing. Keep your song light and happy with a major key.
      • Using dissonant sounds or odd/awkward progressions will kill the mood instantly. Keeping it sounding consonant and "in" is a much better plan.
      • Keep it simple. Writing your love song as a prog-rock masterpiece will distract from the delicate and sensitive subject matter.
      • Arrange your song to play solo. (Creative Commons photo by Lo Sanford)
    3. Make it memorable. Write a melody with the same rules in mind as the chord progression. And yes, I said melody... She (probably) doesn't want a screamo love song. Make it pretty!
    4. Mind your groove. It's not just the chords you play, it's how you play them. Here are a few examples of some good and bad ways to play your love song.
      • Good: 6/8 time signature. Oh how it will melt her heart.
      • Bad: The metal love song. It's kind of hard to play without your Metallica cover band backing you up, anyway.
      • Good: Slow ballad style. Upbeat tunes can be great, but crooning out a love ballad (or even just a mid-tempo number) seems a little more heartfelt.
      • Bad: The punk love song. So not romantic. Unless, of course, your girlfriend is a total punk.
      • Good: Bringing the soul. Take it from Al Green, nothing knocks 'em dead like a soulful session of wearing your heart on your sleeve.
    5. Arrange for one. Remember that you'll be playing this song for her yourself, most likely without any accompaniment from other players. Therefore, writing a tune that requires a 5-piece horn section isn't your smartest strategy.
    6. Find your range. It's important that you figure out what range best suits your voice. Nothing will ruin your attempt at romance quicker than trying to belt it out like Steve Perry when you don't have the vocal chops; similarly, trying to sing Barry White style if your voice sounds like Andy Dick is no more appealing.
    7. Cop out if you need to. If you're really hitting the melodic wall, you do have some other options if you'd rather let someone else do all the hard work.
      • As long as you're not planning on recording and/or selling your song and will just be performing it for your girlfriend, there's nothing stopping you from "borrowing" a classic melody from another song.
      • You could use your lyrics as a song poem and have someone else compose the music for you (for a fee). Or you could ask a talented musician friend to do it out of the kindness of their heart. Just be sure they don't accidentally make your girlfriend fall in love with them instead.

  • The Presentation

    • So, you've written yourself a pretty rockin' little love song that you're pretty proud of. Congratulations! The work is done now, right?
    • Wrong.
    • Actually, the hard part has just begun. That's probably not what you wanted to read, seeing as how you just put some blood, sweat, and quite a few tears into writing your song; but did it cross your mind how nervous you'll be trying to perform it in front of her?

  • Preparation

    • OK, relax—you're gonna be just fine. The first thing you should do is follow these three simple steps:
    1. Practice
    2. Practice
    3. Practice
    • Hopefully you've left yourself enough time to squeeze sufficient practice time in before the big moment, because knowing your song inside and out is the best way to calm those nerves a bit beforehand. You're going to need to memorize the lyrics and know your song to a T. Musical cheat sheets are totally unromantic.


    • Once you feel confident you can soft rock like you never have before, it's time to plan the event.
    1. The song should be the climax of the evening, perhaps after a romantic dinner or a night on the town.
    2. Plan around your instrument. A guitar can be taken anywhere, but if you're playing your song on a piano you'll have to strategize accordingly.
    3. Decide whether or not you will be performing in front of an audience or one-on-one.
      • Playing the song in a public place can be a magical experience. Just make sure it's legal.
      • Playing it as a private performance can be a special moment shared only by the two of you.
    4. Keep the mystery alive. Even if she knows you've got a guitar with you, just telling her that you have a surprise should be enough to keep her guessing.
    5. You can always record the song beforehand, which eliminates mistakes and performance anxiety. However, it also isn't nearly as special as singing it directly to her.

  • The Big Moment

    • Now that everything has been practiced and planned, it's time to shine! Take a look at Mahalo's guide to how to overcome stage fright for a few pointers in relaxing before hitting that figurative stage.
    • When the moment comes, look into her eyes, bust out the song, and play it like you mean it! If you've done it well, she'll be yours forever. Happily ever after. Roll ending credits.

  • Some Famous Love Songs for Inspiration


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