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Want to irritate people on Facebook? Want to be known as "that" guy? Invading personal profile space on Facebook is one of the fastest ways to lose friends and anger others. This page shows you how to use facebook like a moron in three easy steps!
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Step 1: Always Write in Caps
You're important, and it's vital that people know it. Facebook doesn't allow you to type in a font that's larger or more interesting than all the other posts, so you'll have to resort to the caps lock key. It's not your fault; you don't have a choice. Also note that holding down the shift key allows your apostrophes to appear as quotes, and your numbers to appear as dollar signs, percentage symbols, brackets, stars and more. This neat effect isn't possible with the caps lock key, so consider just holding down shift the whole time instead. As a bonus, this will likely make your spelling worse, which is way cooler looking. -
Step 2: Friend Random People
Once you've made friends with people who know you (who may or may not actually like you), it's time to start friending randoms! You can start either alphabetically or with the profile pictures you find most attractive. If you friend someone who already has a lot of friends, they're more likely to say yes. You also need to thing about how the profile pictures on your friends list are going to look. You want to have really good looking friends. For the best effect, friend women wearing bikinis and men who are holding beer, chugging beer or doing a keg stand. -
Step 3: Poke
Poking wasn't created for Facebook as much as Facebook was invented for poking! Poke everyone. Often. One moronic option is going systematically down your list and poking everyone once a day. Once someone is poked the regular way, you can simply type *poke* on their wall to let them know about it. You can also type *poke poke* if you wish you could poke them again before the Facebook system lets you. -
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