How to Tell Your Child They Are Adopted

If you are the parent of an adopted child you might be wondering how to tell your child that they are adopted. With approximately 120,000 children being adopted annually in the United States, conversations about adoption are common occurrences. Emotions and responses upon learning about their adoption will vary from child to child.http://library.adoption.com/articles/the-adopted-child-3.html

Adopted children, especially adolescents, are likely to have interests in learning about their birth parents. If you have gone through an open adoption process, the birth parents may still be a part of your child's life. If your child came to you through a closed adoption, your child will not have contact with their birth parents.http://library.adoption.com/articles/what-children-understand-about-adoption-at-different-ages.html

Step 1: Be Honest With Your Child

You may be considering waiting until your child is older to tell them that they are adopted, or not telling them at all. It is recommended that you be honest with your child from the beginning. Children will become curious as they grow older and will ask a lot of questions. Questions often cause parents to get caught up in lies if they do not want their child to learn that they are adopted.

Step 2: Use the Word Adoption from a Young Age

It is helpful to use the term "adoption" even when your child is very young. Children will become familiar with the word but it will take years before they truly understand what the word "adoption" means. Sharing with your child about their adoption is an ongoing process and children will continue to ask questions as they get older.

Step 3: Utilize Available Resources

There are several resources available that may assist you when talking to your child about adoption. Among the available resources are books written for adults with tips about talking to your adopted child, and books intended to be read with your child. Books written for children, about adoption, are a helpful way to explain what adoption means in an age appropriate manner.

Step 4: Keep It Positive

When talking to your child about adoption, always keep the conversation positive. If the birth parents are still involved in the life of your child, emphasize to your child how lucky they are to have so many people that love them. Explain to your child that you are their parents now, that you love them, and that they will always be a part of your family.

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