Abuse is easy to define when bruises and marks are left on the body, but it's not so easy to see when the bruises happen internally, emotionally and mentally. That's what verbal abuse does: it damages a person emotionally and mentally. Verbal abuse (reviling) doesn't just include things like name calling and cursing either.

When a person repeatedly, or at least on a regular basis, uses words to wound another, to knock someone down instead of building them up, verbal abuse is is occurring. Verbal abuse does as much if not more damage than physical abuse and it's much harder to see and prevent or intervene.

1. Talk about your feelings with someone safe.

2. Seek professional help if you're in an abusive relationship.

3. If a verballly abusive relationship becomes physical, consider leaving.

4. Don't let your partner isolate you from family and friends.

5. Build a good support system outside of your relationship.

Chances are, if you're looking for information on what verbal abuse really is, you are probably already experiencing it or know someone who is. Verbal abuse, simply put, is using language in an abusive manner, including cursing, expletives, put-downs, sarcastic barbs, and more. Sometimes, verbal abuse can be nothing but yelling or a raised voice, while others times the verbal abuse can occur under the breath or in a whisper. What makes any communication abusive is how the recipient of the communication feels.

Learning how to recognize the signs of a verbally abusive relationship is the important first step in getting help and changing the nature of the relationship or getting out.

The first step in how to recognize a verbally abusive relationship is to understand the difference between normal criticism, sarcasm, complaints and verbally abusive ones.

Criticizing: Usually verbal abuse begins with one party in a relationship going out of their way to criticize the other. This is different than normal criticism when someone asks for it, but rather, the partner goes out of their way to make sure they have something negative to say about most things.

Generally, this criticism doesn't come with any constructive advice for improving, but simply is intended to beat down or insult the other person. Constructive criticism will always point out the strength and provide alternatives to criticism. Verbal abuse will simply point out the negative (real or created), and focus only on the bad things.

A person living in a verbally abusive relationship will likely feel like, "I can't ever do anything right!" or "Nothing I do is ever good enough!"

This is not your fault. This is the abuser, verbally knocking you down and weakening your defenses.

Sarcasm: In the right place, sarcasm can be humorous, but not when it happens regularly and is usually at your expense. If your partner is constantly using sarcasm directed toward you and it's making you feel bad, this is a warning sign of verbal abuse.

Complaints: Everyone complains sometimes. This is normal. Complaints become verbally abusive when they are excessive and target the person instead of an action. For example, saying a person is 'stupid' because they burned dinner instead of complaining about the burnt food is verbally abusive.

Sometimes, sarcasm and complaints are combined, so that the abuser complains in a very sarcastic way, so that when the abused is upset, the abuser laughs and says the sarcasm was merely a joke.

Humor at anothers' expense is not funny; it's abusive.

If your relationship involves a lot of yelling and screaming, it might not necessarily be verbally abusive, if the language is merely loud but not insulting. When verbal abuse is at its peak, the sarcastic barbs, insults and criticism are often delivered with volume too.

Threats are always verbally abusive, and if your partner threatens you with any type of punishment, physical or emotional harm, withholding affection, abuse or withholding normal life necessities, your relationship is not only verbally abusive, but it might even be dangerous and potentially life threatening.

The key to how to know if you are in a verbally abusive relationship is to ask yourself a simply question: how does your partner's behavior make you feel?

Verbal abuse is intended to make you feel worthless, useless, low self esteem and low self worth. The abuser using this as a weakness to control and extort so that he or she gets a behavior from you that he or she wanted.

If you find yourself constantly feeling worthless because of something your partner said, you're in a verbally abusive relationship. If you find yourself constantly feeling as though your partner thinks you can't do anything right, you are probably in a verbally abusive relationship.

Let your internal feelings be your guide for how to determine if you're in a verbally abusive relationship, and seek help before you lose all sense of self. If you're seeking this information for a friend, be the help they need, and encourage them to see the warning signs of verbal abuse.