How to Start a Conversation

How to Start a Conversation

Starting a conversation can be one of the most stressful things in life, but also one of the most rewarding. Being good at starting conversations is essential in your career, romance and many other aspects of life. This guide will teach you how to start conversations, so you can get out there and start mingling.
Conversation Starting Tips
1. Research interesting things to talk about.
2. Before you approach somebody to talk, relax.
3. Ask interesting questions.
4. Don't focus on seeming clever.
5. Be prepared to listen.
6. Avoid controversial subjects, complaining or gossip.
7. Be yourself!

Verbal Conversation Skills

Are you having difficulty determining the proper way to verbally communicate? You are certainly not alone. This video presents you with a variety of conversation examples, in the form of informal interviews, both good and bad. It lets you assess these conversations on your own, helping to give you an idea of what works and what does not. At the end of the video, three excellent conversation skills are discussed and highlighted. These are the ability to ask relevant, open ended questions, initiate the conversation by bringing up a common experience or interest between you and the person you are speaking with, and finally, the ability to not dominate the conversation, instead listening to the other person and showing them that you really care about what they are saying.

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Introduction

Are you timid and shy around people you meet for the first time? When you go to a party do you find yourself hiding in the back of the room, only conversing with those you already know? If so, you might be interested in conversation tips. This guide will provide you with information on how to start a conversation.
Step 1: Before You Start a Conversation
- Before you start a conversation, it's a good idea to make sure you'll have something interesting to say!
1. You'll be more interesting if you keep up with interesting things happening in popular culture and the news.eHow: How to Make Small Talk
  - Follow the news, read good books and unusual websites, watch stimulating movies and TV shows, etc.
  - Form opinions about things, and be prepared to articulate them in an interesting way.
2. If there is a specific person you are planning to talk to, do a little research into things you know they're interested in.eHow: How to Make Conversation
  - Even knowing a few interesting details about their favorite sports team or TV show could give you something to talk about.
3. If you are very shy, you can even make a list of possible conversational topics.AllExperts: General Dating Questions: Conversation(October 5, 2006)
  - Try to think of unusual subjects and questions that should be interesting to anyone.suite101.com: Unique Conversation Starters(May 10, 2007) For example, which is a better superpower: flight or invisibility?This American Life: Episode 178: Superpowers
  - Don't be ashamed of making a list. Think of it as something to fall back on.
4. You might feel silly, but it can be helpful to use a mirror to practice conversation.eHow: How to Flirt With a Man
  - This gives you a more objective idea of how you sound and helps you practice your body language.
Step 2: Starting a Conversation
- You've done your prep work. Now you're out and about, and ready to mingle!
1. Before you approach anybody, relax.eHow: How to Small Talk
  - If you're tense, you'll make other people tense. Calm down, try to think of this as an enjoyable experience, and let your body language become very casual and welcoming.eSSORTMENT: Learn the art of conversation
  - Remember, there's really nothing to be so afraid of. Even if the conversation is a little dull or awkward, it's hardly the end of the world.
2. If you spot a stranger you want to talk to, give them a quick but thorough look to see if you can get any ideas about their possible interests.wikiHow: How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
  - A band t-shirt is an obvious sign about the kind of music that person likes. Look for other clues in the person's clothing.
3. You can also check out your surroundings for possible things to talk about.eSSORTMENT: Dating tips: important advice on starting conversation
  - Is there anything interesting in the area? Is there some sort of unusual art or architecture nearby? Do you have any mutual friends there?
4. Say hello and shake their hand, if the circumstances seem appropriate.Wikipedia: Handshake
  - In certain situations, shaking hands could seem too formal. In other situations, it could seem too personal.
5. If you know you have some common ground with the person, you can start by focusing on that.SOYOUWANNA.COM: SOYOUWANNA MEET PEOPLE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD? Talk about your neighborhood, a teacher you share, something at work, etc.
6. If the person has nice clothing, you can start a conversation with a compliment and a question.wikiHow: How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About "I like your coat! Where did you get that?"
  - Complimenting their clothing is one thing, but you should avoid commenting on the person's physical appearance too soon. Telling somebody they have nice eyes when you just met could seem creepy.
  - Don't compliment the person for something unless you really mean it.Stepcase Lifehack: Using Compliments To Control Communication(November 23rd, 2007) If you give them a false compliment and they see through it, you'll look like you're trying to scam them for some reason.
7. Don't go into the conversation trying to sound clever. Be ready to listen.eSSORTMENT: Good conversation skills: tips on becoming a better listener
  - Focus on questions to get things going.eHow: How to Make Small Talk at a Bar Ask about the person, and if a certain subject seems to bring them to life, follow up on it.
  - If you want to have an interesting conversation, ask interesting questions.wikiHow: How to Have a Great Conversation If the other person is just answering "yes" or "no" a lot, your questions probably aren't open-ended enough.
  - If you're paying attention to the other person, you won't be focused on yourself, so you're less likely to be nervous.eSSORTMENT: Five ways to become a better conversationalist
Step 3: Joining a Conversation
- If you notice an interesting conversation already in progress, you can try to join it.
1. If only two people are chatting, don't attempt to join that conversation.PalmBeachPost.com: Improve your networking and social skills
  - A conversation between two people is too intimate to intrude on, and you'll seem rude. Stick to bigger groups.
2. Even with groups of three or more, carefully observe their behavior to make sure they're not discussing something too personal for you to join in.wikiHow: How to Join a Conversation
3. If their conversation seems to have hit a momentary lull, you can jump in with a short comment or question to get them talking again.NPR: Mingle All the Way Through Holiday Parties(December 8, 2006)
  - If they're discussing the weather, for instance, you could ask if anybody has heard if it's supposed to rain soon.
4. Don't linger, and don't butt in.
  - If there never seems to be a pause in the conversation, move on before your presence becomes awkward.
Step 4: Things to Avoid
- There are many common mistakes that people make when they are trying to start a conversation.
1. You don't want to have an argument, so avoid potentially controversial subjects like politics, sex or religion with somebody you don't know well.suite101.com: First Date Conversations to Avoid
2. Don't get too personal too soon.eHow: How to Kill a Conversation
  - Don't ask about heavy subjects like death, divorce, etc.
3. Don't interrupt the other person, or monopolize the conversation. Talk about yourself, but not to an excessive degree.Helium: How to start a conversation and make friends
4. Definitely don't try to make yourself sound cool by criticizing others.PickTheBrain: Things We Hate to Admit
  - This will probably just make you sound insecure. Besides, the person you're talking to could turn out to be a close friend of the person you're tearing down!
5. Avoid complaining.
  - Even if you're going through some bad things in your life, don't share your problems with somebody you just met.Helium: How to start a conversation and make friends
  - If you're trying to interest somebody, you don't want to seem negative or depressing.
Conclusion
- Perhaps the most important tip we can offer is that old cliche: be yourself.wikiHow: How to Be Yourself Hey, it became a cliche for a reason. By letting your true self show when you meet somebody, you're going to be a lot more interesting than you would be if you tried to impress them with some fake persona.
- You've lived a lifetime full of experiences, and there is a whole Earth around you full of fascinating things. You've got a lot to talk about!
- So, don't be shy. Get out there and mingle.
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