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How to Potty Train

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Parenting  |  How Tos

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  • Introduction

    • It's a moment that every parent dreams of: the day when your little guy or girl finally graduates from diapers to big kid underwear. No more diaper bags or stinky pails tucked into the corner of the bedroom. No more middle-of-the-night runs to the drugstore because the wipe box is empty or the diaper cream has gone missing. It's definitely a moment to be celebrated.
    • Potty training can either be incredibly easy or a tremendous struggle depending on how you approach it. Pushing too hard, shaming your child, and generally trying to force the issue are going to make him or her less likely to sit on the toilet, and that's not at all what you want. But by guiding him or her gently down the road to success and taking the inevitable setbacks in stride, you'll insure that everyone ends up happy.

  • Step 1: Decide When to Start Potty Training

    • Your first step is to decide when you should start the whole potty training process. Some people start early and "potty train" their infants, but this approach technically doesn't fit the definition of potty training since it involves training the parent to read the infant's cues rather than training the infant to hold and release when appropriate.
    1. Children vary in their potty training readiness, but most experts say that anywhere between 18 months and 4 years of age is the ideal time to potty train.
    2. Girls usually learn to use the potty a little earlier than boys, so it's normal if Billy takes longer to get the hang of things than Susie did.
    3. Every child is different, so the key is to watch your child for signs of toilet training readiness.
      • When your child has a clean diaper in the morning, starts showing interest in the big kid potty, and starts letting you know that he or she needs to go, these are all signs that you're ready to give the potty a try.
    4. Make sure to select a low stress time to potty train.
      • If your child is starting a new preschool or you're having a lot of guests at your home over the holidays, your risk overwhelming your child and completely turning them off the idea of using the potty.

  • Step 2: Prepare Your Child

    • As with any new skill that you teach your child, the key to success is to help them understand what they need to do and make it easy for them to do it.
    1. Introduce the topic of potty training in a non-threatening way.
      • Books and DVDs are a great way to teach how potty training works and get your child excited about the process.
      • Girls might be especially interested in dolls that pee. Let her dolly go in the potty too.
    2. Figure out what words you're going to use for all of the body parts and processes—and stick with them.
      • It's really up to you whether you use terms like "urine" and "penis" or more "kid-friendly" terms like "pee-pee" and "wee-wee."
      • Just pick the words that will embarrass you the least in public, because it's almost a guarantee that your child will use them in the middle of the supermarket!
    3. Let your kid select his own equipment like a potty, training pants, etc.
      • If he's really excited about his Bob the Builder potty seat, he'll be more likely to use it.
    4. Generally, it's better to let her start out on a child-sized potty or a potty seat attachment.
      • She'll be sitting there for a while and you don't want her straining to hold herself up on a too-big seat.
      • You can move to the regular potty later, after she's got the hang of things. #Similarly, start out with training pants and move up to big kid underwear once things are moving smoothly to reduce the chance of accidents and frustration for both of you.
    5. Your child might want to watch people use the toilet. This is perfectly normal curiosity on his part and helps with understanding of the basic mechanics.
      • One thing you might want to consider is giving your little boy the opportunity to watch a man use the bathroom to help him get the hang of sitting versus standing. You may want to do this now, or you might want to wait until he masters sitting on the potty and then move him to standing.

  • Step 3: Encourage Your Child

    • You've gotten your child excited to use the potty, and it's time for the big day. How do you make it a success?
    1. The fact is that you will probably sit her down on the potty for five minutes, but she won't actually go. Celebrate the fact that she sat down. Throw a potty party and make a big deal out of how grown-up she is.
      • Make her feel proud of her accomplishment, and you'll dramatically increase her willingness to try again later.
    2. Give your child potty breaks at regular times during the day.
      • Remember that he's still not in the habit of telling you when he needs to go, so schedule it into your day.
    3. Decide whether or not you want to use rewards.
      • Small rewards might help encourage a reluctant child to sit on the potty, but don't let the rewards take the place of all of the praise that you should be heaping on for every attempt.
    4. You can also try to encourage interest in the potty with an added novelty.
      • Try floating cereal in the toilet or using blue food coloring and letting your child watch the colors change after a successful pee.
      • Just realize that when you put your child's favorite cereal in the toilet, there's always a risk that she'll reach for it!
    5. When you go out, make sure you know where the restrooms are.
      • Your potty training quest shouldn't stop just because the family is going out to eat.
      • If your child is too scared to go on the big potty, consider bringing an attachable potty seat to help keep her comfortable.

  • Step 4: Deal with Problems and Move On

    • The reality is that you're going to have setbacks. Your child might be reluctant to go at all, might be willing to urinate but not defecate in the potty, or might start going just fine and then inexplicably stop one day and refuse to try again. These are all normal problems and have fairly simple solutions.
    1. If you're having generalized problems with getting your child to use the potty, reevaluate your approach.
      • Is she really ready for potty training? It might be worth sticking with diapers for another couple of months and trying again later rather than risk major frustration for both of you.
    2. One of the most common potty training related problems is bedwetting. Your child will have accidents, so be prepared.
      • Put a mattress protector on the bed and make sure to have an extra change of clothes handy when you go out on the town.
      • Bedwetting is pretty common, but consult a doctor if your child starts regularly wetting the bed again after being trained, or if bedwetting is accompanied by painful urination.
    3. Some children are afraid of the toilet.
      • The most common worry is falling in; consider buying a stand alone potty instead of a seat that attaches to the big toilet.
    4. Constipation can sometimes keep a child from going number two, even when he has number one down pat.
      • Try adding fiber to his diet to help keep things moving and make sure he's drinking enough liquids.
      • Don't give a child laxatives without seeing a doctor first.

  • Conclusion

    • With persistence and hard work, you'll soon see the end of diaper bills and all their associated messes. You might not have the funding available to go to Disneyland, but a celebration is definitely in order!

 


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