How to Mend a Broken Heart

No matter who you are, heartache can be a difficult time in anyone's life. At one point or another, we have all felt the sting of a broken heart, but it's never easy seeing beyond the hurt you feel in that moment.

Whether you are dealing with the end of a romance, friendship, or even a dream, there are no simple answers to moving on, except to give yourself the time to recover.

• Consider picking up a self-help book.

• Courses are a great way to follow interests while making new friends.

• Get out of the house. After a while nothing will make you feel better than fresh air and sunlight.

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. - Mark Twain

Everyone deals with their emotions differently, and every relationship or heartache is unique, so it's important to reflect on your feelings as you move forward. There is no one right answer for dealing with heartache, so these steps are really just a guide to finding the answers you need in your life.

Don't rush yourself. You will feel hurt and vulnerable at first, and maybe even scared or angry, but the most important thing to remember is that you need to take each day as they come to you.

For many, a valuable way to deal with the grieving process is to take time to themselves and let themselves think about what just happened. Don't be afraid to let yourself mourn for what you are leaving behind you, and if you need an outlet, consider engaging yourself with music, movies, or literature. All of these options can help you release emotions that you are likely holding inside.

Most importantly, if you need to talk, share your feelings with someone you trust, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a counselor. There is no shame in admitting that you are having a hard time dealing with your emotions.

When you have given yourself time to cry, and time to talk, the next step is opening a new door ahead of you. You will likely feel scared, and maybe even trapped at first, so it's important to start looking ahead.

The simplest doorway you can reveal is through personal expression. Do you paint, write, sculpt, sing, dance, or have a creative outlet? What are your hobbies? Find at least one thing that you love to do, or have always wanted to do, and spend some time doing it.

Also, make time with your friends or your family to fill your time. Go out to an art exhibit, spend a weekend out of town, or just go out for dinner with someone who will put you at ease. The point here is to start putting mental distance between you and the past. Even if this is a temporary diversion, it's important to be around people you care about right now.

Most importantly, resist making contact with your ex, or the person that broke your heart, and take care of yourself that you are not falling into negative patterns. Avoid excessive habits that will hurt you, whether emotionally or physically, including alcohol and drugs.

Within a few months it's important to assess yourself and consider how you feel today. Are you still angry, hurt, or frustrated? More than likely you will still feel some pain from the memories, but by now you probably already feel a bit differently.

This is the time when it's wise to decide what you will do with anything that reminds you of the pain you experienced before. Decide if you would feel better getting rid of reminders, or if you would rather have a keepsake down the road. It's not an easy decision to make, but just remember: you can always throw something out next year.

Lastly, if you are feeling the effects of depression, it's important to seek out a professional who can help you. The effects can be widespread, affecting your sleeping patterns, diet, health, or mental state, but there is help out there if you need it.

By now you should be feeling very different about your life. The loss is still there, but you have started mending your heart by simply finding yourself again inside the mess of emotions. As you take on new tasks, you are essentially making a new you, and creating a new center of balance for yourself.

When you're ready, it's time to think about dating again, and opening yourself up to new relationships. There is no reason to rush the process, so if you're not ready for this step, you really just need to give yourself more time. Go back to a previous step if you're not ready yet, and think about opening another doorway to your future.

If you are ready to date again; take it slow as you open yourself up to the possibility of new love with bright, new horizons.