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Making new friends may seem frightening and difficult, but considering the alternative—spending all your time alone—you'll likely agree that it's worth the required effort to meet new people. In order to make friends, you have to put forth the effort to introduce yourself to and get to know new people. If you're feeling lonely and don't know where to start, this guide will help teach you how to make friends at school.
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Making new friends may seem frightening and difficult, but considering the alternative—spending all your time alone—you'll likely agree that it's worth the required effort to meet new people. In order to make friends, you have to put forth the effort to introduce yourself to and get to know new people. If you're feeling lonely and don't know where to start, this guide will help teach you how to make friends at school.
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Introduction
- Attending a new school can be nerve wracking, especially if you haven't yet had a chance to get to know anyone. Sometimes it may feel as though everyone at your school already has a clique of friends and you may wonder if you'll ever be able to break in. If your fear of rejection is preventing you from making the first move, make an attitude adjustment and try to think more positively. In order to make new friends, you're going to have to make the first move and start interacting with your peers or risk eating your lunch alone every day.
Step 1: Be Yourself, Be Approachable
- Although it may be tempting to adopt a new style or persona in order to attract new friends, don't! Be true to yourself and who you really are. If you have to step outside your comfort zone to impress your peers, you likely won't be making rewarding, long-term friendships. You'll find that it is much more pleasant to spend time with people who appreciate you for yourself and with whom you have lots in common.
- Even though you may be shy and nervous, people are less apt to notice you if you are always hiding in the corner staring at the floor. Make an attempt to make eye contact with those around you and smile at them. Doing so will make you look more friendly and approachable.
Step 2: Be Proactive and Observant
- As much as you may wish it, you may be waiting a long lonely time if you hold out for people to come to you. Keep your eyes open for any and all opportunities to strike up a conversation with people around you. Show interest and ask questions about things you notice about your classmates. For example:
- On the first day of class, scope out a seat next to someone who looks as though they would make a good friend. Introduce yourself right away and ask him or her a question about themselves. If nothing else comes to mind, ask if he or she knows anything about the teacher
- If you notice that one of your classmates lives in your neighborhood, ask if they want to walk to school or the bus stop with you
- Sincere compliments are a great way to be positive and break the ice. If one of your peers has a great hairstyle or is wearing an item of jewelry or clothing that you like, let him or her know
- Listen when the teacher takes attendance and try to remember as many of your classmates' names as you can
- If one of your peers is wearing a T-shirt that features one of your favorite bands, use this as a reason to start up a conversation
Step 3: Join a Club or Team
- Since most schools have a great variety of clubs and sports teams, you'll likely be able to find one that interests you. Look into what's available and consider auditioning for the school play, joining the school band, trying out for one of the sports teams, or joining the chess or debate club. Not only will this be a great way to meet people who share your interests, it's also provides you with the opportunity of striking up a conversation with your fellow club members when you see them outside of the club.
Conclusion
- In order to make new friends at school, you usually have to be proactive about it. Try to give off an air of friendliness and approachability by making eye contact and smiling at your classmates. Be observant and try to find things that you have in common with those around you, and then use this common ground as a way to start a conversation. Above all, be yourself and try not to get discouraged—good friends are worth waiting for.
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