Whether you're living with, married to or related to a person who is a narcissist, it can be a difficult living situation at best. Knowing how to live with a narcissist is a great start to preserving your own well-being as you deal with the living arrangements. Though narcissism is a commonly used term, it is actually a personality disorderhttp://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html that people suffer from and those around them suffer by association. The information provided here includes steps that are intended to provide some level of assistance to those that live with a person or people who are afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Use the information to your benefit and modify it to fit the needs of your situation as you see fit.

The information provided here is not a substitute for professional mental health information. See your professional mental health advisor for professional mental health advice.

Sometimes personality disorders are equated with personality flaws. Though NPD is classified as a personality disorder, there is also some speculation as to whether or not it is a character flaw, the difference being that those with a character flaw do not recognize the flaw and are loathe to do anything about ithttp://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html. For the purposes of this article, the idea is that it is a personality disorder that the person is often loathe to do anything about. This make it a medical affliction rather than a flaw.

• To understand the narcissistic personality may very well mean to reverse the current thoughts about the personality. Since narcissists tend to project a grandiose image of themselves, the receivers of the image often think that the narcissist thinks very highly of themselves. In all reality, they are so overwhelmed by their flaws that they try to project their best features in order to mask the flaws they fear looking at themselves. This is often the result of some type of neglect during the childhood yearshttp://changingminds.org/disciplines/psychoanalysis/concepts/narcissism.htm.

It's easy to get lost in the midst of dealing with a narcissistic personality, but one does need to keep one's own ego intact and healthy. There are some things to keep in mind as you deal with them so that you don't end up with a low self esteem that could result in your own mental health issues that crop up from the existence of a low self esteem.

• Realize that the person cannot stand the idea of you having a better quality than them. This causes them to repeatedly down grade any skills you may have in order to shed more light on your negative aspects.
  
  
• We all have negative aspects. The narcissistic personality will tend to point those out in order to focus on them and avoid their own. your job is to accept your own flaws as simply being a part of who you are and not your entire makeup.
  
  
• Realize that you cannot change them and either need to accept them as they are and do your best to keep yourself intact and encourage them to get better or leave the situation entirely.

*Do not look to them for moral or emotional support on any level. They are incapable of this in a sincere manner. Their lack of empathy is a trademark quality of this type of personality. Find supportive resources outside of this relationship.

*Do not waste time confronting them as this can lead to aggressive behavior and will almost certainly result in denial. Leave this to mental health professionals. Remember that the entire goal of this personality is to hide flaws.

*In short, if you care for this person, simply be who you are and be happy with who you are, regardless of what they may say to you. Caring for someone means accepting who they are. The hope is most certainly that at some point this personality may realize that you know their flaws and have accepted them, making the grandiosity null and void.

As stated in Step 2 above, it is not your place to confront this personality or make a determination that this is a narcissistic personality. Now is a good time to seek help for yourself and the other party if this is a possibility. Keep in mind that this personality is based on denial and shame. You may need help avoiding becoming codependent if you aren't there already. If you are in a marriage with the person, you might consider asking them to go to couples counseling so that a neutral party can offer their view of the personality and you can hand some of the pressure over to someone else.