How To Flirt: Don't Act Like A Stalker

Flirting is a behavior often used to show an attraction for another person.http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704684,00.html However, there are limits that should be set to avoid causing someone to become uncomfortable. Its is important to know these limits when learning how to flirt. Don't become a stalker or act in a manner that becomes obsessive. While the original intention may have been to be flattering, this will likely lead to a very uncomfortable situation. Understanding what is acceptable will help establish these limits and maintain an even balance of flattery and respect for someone's personal space.

Step 1: Know Physical Boundaries

When flirting, it's important to understand and respect the physical boundaries of others. You want to show that you are interested in them, without appearing as though you are stalking them. Remember, flirting is supposed to be playful, not stressful or overwhelmingly uncomfortable. To avoid this:

  1. Don't follow them around the club or event. Once you've spoken to them or made eye contact wait for an opportunity to speak with them, rather than seeking them out.
  2. If they have not been responsive to your flirting techniques, accept that and refrain from being to persistent.
  3. Don't hover. When speaking, be sure to allow them enough personal space to feel comfortable.http://www.learnbodylanguage.org/personal_space.html

Step 2: After Flirting

There are times when a person becomes interested in someone, and takes their interest too far. This could be considered stalking. While showing your attraction is a major element of the flirting process, you need to know how to avoid appearing as a stalker. The following tips will help you to avoid this type of perception.

  1. Don't text or call the other person immediately. Perhaps waiting a few hours to a few days is best, to avoid obsessively trying to communicate with them.
  2. Refrain from sending them gifts or other tokens of affection, until you have gotten to know them better and have established a friendship or basis for a dating relationship.
  3. Unless they have verbally stated that they wanted to "friend" you on a social network, do not request them, allow them to pursue this at their pace. Being too premature can appear as a form of stalking.http://collegecandy.com/2009/07/31/are-you-a-facebook-stalker-your-secret-isnt-safe-anymore/

Step 3: Accepting Rejection

Although you may have done nothing wrong, flirting may have ended with a polite decline of your invitation. Once you have been rejected, allow yourself to accept this and to not take the rejection personal. Failure to accept this rejection and continued pursuit of the other person, may be perceived as stalking. http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/313_relationship_expert.html

Do not use any of the information you gathered while speaking with them, to attempt and find them at work, search out their address or engage in conversation either on the phone or through instant messaging.http://www.sexualharassmentsupport.org/Stalking.html If they have already rejected your advances, this will certainly lead them to assume that you are stalking them.

Learning how to take rejection, will help to avoid situations where flirting becomes obsessive.http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/313_relationship_expert.html

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