How to Deal with the In-Laws at Thanksgiving

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Categories: How Tos | Thanksgiving

  • Tips

    • Going into any situation with a positive attitude is one way to increase the chances of receiving a positive attitude back.

  • Part of knowing how to deal with in-laws at Thanksgiving may be learning how to manage difficult relatives on Thanksgiving. Then again, maybe they aren't difficult but you simply haven't learned how to communicate with them. This is no big surprise since merging families is often difficult when you consider that a multitude of personalities have to somehow learn to work together to make the family function as a whole.

    Sometimes dealing with the in-laws is just a matter of preparing yourself and creating a positive situation. There may even be times when the difficulties are beyond your control, but how you react to them is not. As you read the steps here, consider what you are up against and what you personally can do about it.

  • Step 1: Set the Stage

    To begin with, it's always best if you can set the stage in a situation that you feel might be more than you can handle. Use the tips below to make yourself a bit more comfortable about the situation.

    1. Plan to have dinner at your house if possible or on neutral ground like a club or restaurant. At least then you can feel a bit more secure about where you stand.
    2. Prepare your in-laws by expressing excitement over spending the holiday season with them. Excitement is often contagious and if you have a positive attitude, they may adopt it as well.
    3. Ask your in-laws to each bring a dish that they are proud of. This makes them feel appreciated. It doesn't even matter if they condescend into thinking that you personally can't prepare the dish. Stroke their ego if it eases the pain of Thanksgiving.

  • Step 2: Prepare Yourself

    The in-laws may make you cringe a bit inside, but it's up to you to let them do that. You can go well armed to Thanksgiving dinner without being the least bit offensive or abrasive. Use some of the steps below to make yourself ready for a pleasant Thanksgiving.

    1. Pamper yourself a bit. Do some serious hygiene and prepping so that you feel good about yourself.
    2. Think of the things that make your in-laws to difficult for you to deal with. Many times there are things about people we don't like right up until we find out why they are the way they are. Your in-laws are only human and are going to be flawed no matter how much you don't want them to be.
    3. Avoid taboo topics. There is no reason to go out of your way to start an argument or heated discussion.
    4. Compliment them. Share your positive outlook on life with them and you may be surprised what you get back.
    5. Stay busy if you actually need to avoid them. If things aren't going well you can surely find something to do in the kitchen.
    6. Remind yourself that this is your family now and you need to find a way to accept them.

  • Step 3: Be Thankful

    As you look around the room and you see in-laws that may drive you nuts, consider how lucky you are to have in-laws. Some people are completely alone on Thanksgiving. Whether they are the way you want them to be or not, you have in-laws because 2 people fell in love and got married. That's more than a lot of people have during any season.

    Remember that Thanksgiving is about being thankful and appreciating the people in your life, for good or bad. Make sure to mention your thanks for them as you say your Thanksgiving prayer or speech.

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