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How to Dance with a Partner

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Exercise  |  Society & Culture  |  How Tos

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  • How to dance with a partner reviews the traditional closed dance hold used in such ballroom dances as the waltz and foxtrot.

  • Introduction

    • There are dozens of different ways to dance with a partner. How you do that depends on the type of dance you're doing - informal nightclub dancing, ballroom dancing, a traditional folk dance, a balletic pas de deux or a sweaty, nervous junior high slow dance. This guide will review the traditional closed hold used in ballroom dances like the waltz and foxtrot. It's the hold most commonly associated with partner dancing and the one you'll see most often in movies.
    • The hold, however, is just the first step. The tricky part is figuring out how to actually move with someone around the dance floor. This guide will review both how to hold your partner and how to move with them by assuming the role of either the leader or the follower.

  • How to Hold Your Partner

    • The closed position is the most common hold in ballroom dance and is quite easy to do. The "leading partner" is traditionally a man. The "following partner" is traditionally a woman, but no one's going to be traumatized if you shake up that formula. There does, however, have to be one leader and one follower.

  • Directions for the Leading Partner

    1. Face your partner. You should be standing approximately six inches away from each other.
    2. Maintain good posture with your head up and shoulders relaxed.
    3. Place your right hand slightly below your partner's left shoulder blade.
    4. Your right arm should remain firm—lifted at a 90 degree angle from your body.
    5. Take your partner's right hand in your left hand. Your hands should be raised to the eye level of the shorter partner.

  • Directions for the Following Partner

    1. Face your partner. You should be standing approximately six inches away from each other.
    2. Maintain good posture with your head up and shoulders relaxed.
    3. After your partner has placed his or her right hand on your back, rest your left arm on your partner's right arm.
    4. Your left hand should gently grasp your partner's shoulder. Fingers on the outside. Thumb on the inside.
    5. Rest your right hand in your partner's left hand, between your partner's thumb and forefinger. Your hands should be raised to the eye level of the shorter partner.

  • Rules for Both Partners

    1. Keep some resistance in your arms. If they're floppy, it's much harder to turn and lead or follow your partner.
    2. Never look at your feet. This is a surefire way to step on somebody else's. Ideally, you shouldn't be standing toe-to-toe. You should be standing so that your bodies are offset with your right foot aimed between your partner's feet.

  • How to Lead

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    • The man, or the person assuming the man's role, traditionally leads his partner around the dance floor. This means that he determines the direction the couple dances in, whether they stay in one place or move around the floor and which steps they do. The following tips will help you take a strong lead:
    1. Maintain good posture.
    2. Move as a unit with your partner.
    3. Use your right hand (the one cupped under your partner's left shoulder blade) to guide your partner.
      • Pushing with the heel of your right hand will guide your partner to the left.
      • Scooping and lightly pulling the fingers of the right hand will guide your partner to the right.
      • A gentle pull will move your partner towards you.
      • A gentle push will move your partner backwards.
    4. Start with simple steps. Don't push your partner to do moves he or she may not know or be comfortable doing.

  • How to Follow

    • Following is just as difficult as leading, particularly if you're dancing with a poor lead. If you're following, you must pay close attention to your partner's body. Your partner's chest and shoulders will usually lead the movement. You should maintain enough resistance in your upper body to be led, but not so much that you're leading. It's a tricky balance, but one that can be learned by dancing with partners of varying abilities. Here are some additional tips on how to follow your partner's lead:
    1. Don't lead. Even if your partner isn't a particularly good lead, pay attention to his or her body rather than pulling him or her around the floor.
    2. Support your own weight. You're following, but you're not a rag doll. Just because you're following doesn't mean that you're completely passive. Dance on your own two feet.
    3. Try to anticipate your partner's lead.
    4. Communicate with your partner. If he or she is trying to execute steps you don't know, let your partner know that you only know the basics. A good lead can and will adapt to whatever his or her partner is comfortable doing.

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