This page discusses how to control anger. We have all experienced anger in one form or another. Anger is an emotional reaction to events that, for one reason or another, cause us to feel displeasure, annoyance, frustration, or even fury, hatred, or violence, depending on the extremity. Anger first manifests at a very early age as an attempt to overcome resistance, or in other words, to “fight for what you want.” And if anger is met with anger, then the habit of expressing frustration and expecting an equally forceful response will snowball and become ingrained in the psyche.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.” http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx# It’s the manner in which we express our anger that can lead to damaging results, sometimes even jeopardizing relationships with family, friends and co-workers. There is however, another theory when it comes to anger management; this is more of a buddhist or zen-like doctrine of unattachment, which has also been expressed by the popular adage, “Don’t worry; Be happy.”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Worry,_Be_Happy Essentially, this theory suggests that all things pass, so why waste your time getting upset to begin with?

In whichever direction your philosophical beliefs are more aligned, there are techniques available to help you manage and control your anger - either before it happens or after it has already manifested.

Classical methods of controlling anger stem from the belief that anger is a natural emotion that occurs in stressful situations and is accompanied by physiological and biological changes, ie: heart rate and blood pressure rise along with the levels of certain hormones, including adrenaline. The American Psychological Association (APA) states that "the natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively.” http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx# So, according to them, it would be unnatural to respond in a calm manner while feeling angry. How then do they manage to advocate anger management techniques in accordance with this logic? Perhaps they mean to say that it is normal to want to respond aggressively, but also normal to be able to engage your rationality in a way that allows you to “cool off” before “responding aggressively.”

In any case, we can assume that the APA intends to say that you should not feel ashamed of your feelings; they are, in fact, natural. It’s okay to be angry, but here are some constructive ways to deal with that emotion: express, suppress, calm down. They teach (and yes this is the method that is used for court-appointed anger management classes) that the healthiest way to express anger is to express your feeling assertively. Instead of just acting out, you should say, “I feel angry because you stole my wallet,” or, “When you cheated on me with my best friend, I felt disbelief and anger,” rather than breaking glass or punching a wall. The second best thing you could do is to “hold in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive,” or in other words, “calm down.”

The latter strategy seems, realistically speaking, potentially more effective - that is to say, provided that the techniques needed to “calm down” are available to the victim of anger.

The method described above is similar to the orthodox ideology of prescribing medicine to treat a symptom rather than treating the cause of the symptom. If you’re reading this page, chances are that your tendency to become angry and/or to let your anger get out of control happens a bit more frequently or intensely that you would like.

A more heterodox or alternative approach to anger management would be to nip the feeling of anger at the bud, so to speak, before its allowed to fully sprout and ripen into something dangerous. In order to be able to do this, you need to alter the conditions under which the anger is originally seeded.

If anger is bitter and acidic, then it cannot live in a peaceful, alkaline and kind environment. You need to turn yourself into a person who does not get upset so easily or one who is able to proactively deal with the feelings of anger in a creative or productive manner. This requires not being attached to outcomes or addicted to anger or aggression.

Often times people are addicted to anger without knowing it. If economics is a metaphor for life (supply and demand, inflation as expectations of future price, etc.) then it can be summed up as “you get what you expect.” Often times, people who are overly angry are so because they are always expecting the worst. They jump to conclusions and assume the most negative situations and reactions, often times unjustly. These people are addicted to anger because they feel most at home in volatile, antagonistic and tense environments, and since this is what they expect, the situation usually snowballs.

So, it’s not enough to say, “be calm” or “express yourself constructively.” Here, anger management must be looked at more holistically.

There are many naturopathic and alternative methods of balancing your emotions and creating greater harmony, patience and happiness in your life.

The Energy Healing for Anger Management Organization http://www.innercosmos.com/anger_management.htm provides many helpful tips based on the concept of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP)http://www.1000ventures.com/business_guide/crosscuttings/nlp_main.html, which essentially teaches you to rewire your negative default mechanisms. NLP can be empowering because it presumes that you can be in control of how you perceive and interact with the world. The NLP model is said to “enhance effective communication, personal change and personal development” by changing the way you think about things, and thereby nipping anger in the bud before it can manifest full force.

The Sedona Method http://www.sedona.com/ is another well known process for achieving happiness and emotional well-being. It too is based on a strategy of knowing yourself well, and identifying your emotions as emotions before they manifest as actions. The Sedona Method works with all emotions (fear, jealousy, anxiety, sadness, etc.) and enables release from negativity.

Transcendental Meditation:http://www.tm.org/ This technique is said to eliminate stress, increase clarity and creativity, and improve your overall health and well-being. “The TM technique simply and naturally allows the mind to settle down to experience a state of inner coherence and calm during which time the left and right hemispheres, and the front and back of the brain, begin to work in harmony with each other,” says Gary Kaplan, MD, Ph.D, NYU Medical School. Learning TM is not free; there’s a one time cost of a few hundred dollars, but it’s a lifelong investment.

Other natural remedies for reducing stress and anger are: practice yoga, limit your intake of spicy foods, alcohol and drugs, get plenty of exercise, spend time in nature, establish a supportive community where you can share your concerns before they get out of control, practice smiling, laugh, and surround yourself with your favorite things.