The information presented here will guide you as you make important decisions such as whom to choose for your honor attendants (maid of honor and best man), how many people to include in your wedding party and how to integrate children into the ceremony.

• Few wedding planning tasks are more important than choosing your wedding party. Picking the right combination of responsible and fun attendants will ensure that your wedding day runs smoothly and that you have a great time. For this wedding planning task, you'll need a little bit of respect for tradition and a whole lot of trust in your gut feelings. Follow the guidelines below to create a top-notch wedding party.

• Your wedding party must suit the size, budget and style of the ceremony that you're planning. Here are the answers to the important questions that you need to ask before choosing your wedding attendants.

1. When should you choose your wedding party?
   • As early as possible. Why? Because your inner circle is going to be by your side from the moment you start planning your wedding until the moment you step into the getaway car. You will need them to perform essential tasks such as helping you shop for bridal accessories and planning your bachelor and bachelorette parties.
2. What are the traditional members of the wedding party?
   • The Maid of Honor
   • The Bridesmaids
   • The Best Man
   • The Groomsmen
   • The Flower Girl and the Ring Bearer
3. How many attendants should you choose?
   1. Experts say that the ideal wedding attendant to guest ratio is one pair per 35 to 50 guests. So, if you're planning a very small wedding, you might only need a best man and a maid of honor.
   2. According to MarthaStewart.com, a typical wedding has four to six pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen and a larger wedding could have up to 12 pairs.
   3. Choose the number of attendants that fits your budget. If you're planning for each of your bridesmaids to carry a bouquet, for example, adding more attendants will increase your expenses. Also, it's standard practice to give each member of your wedding party a nice gift.
4. How should you prepare your wedding party for the big day?
   • Once you've chosen your bridesmaids and groomsmen, invite the whole group to a social gathering to discuss the wedding.
     • Have a cookout or plan a nice lunch.
     • Thank them for agreeing to be a part of your wedding party.
     • Once you've got their attention, share your wedding vision with them and discuss your expectations from them.
5. How should you deal with awkward situations?
   • Follow these creative solutions for when a family member or long-time friend technically belongs in your wedding party but just doesn't fit the in with the style, budget or personality of the wedding.
   • Switching sides: If you don't like your bride's brother, for example, and can't imagine having him tag along at your bachelor party as a groomsman, request that she include him in the bridal party.
   • Small duties: Honor this person with a different role in the wedding ceremony such as ushering or delivering a reading.
   • Leave it to chance: If you just can't afford the extra bridesmaid or groomsmen, tell both that you'd like to include them but that you have to make a random choice. Then, have them flip a coin or pick a number to determine who's in and who's out.

• The maid of honor should be that special friend who can juggle helping you to find the perfect wedding dress, keeping your entourage of bridemaids on schedule and talking you through your wedding day jitters.

• The maid of honor's job description can vary from wedding to wedding, but generally she should be eager to perform the following tasks:

1. Help you shop for for your wedding dress.
2. Tell wedding guests what stores you've registered with.
3. Help with crafty details like filling out wedding invitations, labeling seating cards and preparing favors.
4. Plan your wedding shower and bachelorette party.
5. Deliver a toast to honor your union.
6. Attend to your appearance on your wedding day, including making sure that your dress and train are arranged properly for photographs and at the ceremony.
7. Carry the groom's ring and hold it until you exchange vows. Many wedding ceremonies have a ring bearer, but generally the role is performed by a small child who carries a pillow with fake rings.
8. Sign the marriage certificate.

1. Consider the traditional order: Real Simple advises that you consider your female family members first. If your sister or first cousin doesn't seem like an appropriate choice for your maid of honor, choose from among your closest friends.
2. Pick a friend who wants the job: Some friends will take pride in planning your bachelorette party and helping you get dressed on your wedding day. Others would prefer to simply show up to the wedding.
3. Trust your feelings: Choose someone with whom you can work and play. The maid of honor should be that special friend who can tell when you look and feel your best and who can keep up with you on the dance floor.
4. Don't make an impossible decision: When faced with the prospect of choosing between your loyal sister, who introduced you to your husband-to-be, or your best friend, who listened to you talk about every date you ever went on, choose both. Divide their duties and make everyone happy.
5. Be financially flexible: If your sister or best friend lacks the funds to purchase a maid of honor dress or to throw your bridal shower, discuss finances with her. She might be relieved to assume a less costly duty. You could divide party planning costs among all of the bridesmaids.
6. Consider distant friends: It's certainly possible for an out-of-town friend to be your maid of honor, but think about the organizational and financial demands of doing the job remotely before you ask. Request this only if your maid of honor is able and willing to come to town for shopping trips and to attend your bridal shower and bachelorette parties.

• The personalities that make up your bridal party should strike the right balance between duty and fun. You'll definitely want to pick some outrageous girls who will make sure that your bachelorette party is a blast, but don't forget the reliable ladies who will actually show up to the rehearsal on time.

1. Buy matching dresses: Bridesmaids should be able and willing to purchase and schedule fittings for dresses that you choose.
2. Attend wedding-related parties: Bridesmaids should be able to attend, if not participate in planning, most of the events leading up to your wedding. This includes your bachelorette party, wedding shower, ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
3. Perform basic duties: Bridesmaids should assist the bride with small, but important details such as keeping track of wedding shower gifts, reserving a location for the bachelorette party and shuttling out-of-town guests to the airport.
4. Watch over the bride: Bridesmaids should tend to the bride's needs throughout the wedding day. The bridesmaids must help the bride get dressed, keep her in high spirits and remind her to eat.

1. Family First: Wedding experts recommend that you pick close family first. Whom you choose for your bridal party is up to you, but consider your sisters, cousins and your fiancé's sisters before you ask your friends.
2. The Long Run: Choose bridesmaids who will be in your life to enjoy the pictures and share in your memories long after your wedding day.
3. Hold the Attitude: Choose thoughtful ladies who will focus on your wedding day needs. Bridesmaids shouldn't be overly dramatic personality types who are too busy courting attention to pose for photographs or assist the bride. It's your wedding day after all.
4. No Limits: Anything goes in the 21st century, so choose your favorite people to stand beside you on your wedding day no matter what.
   • In modern times, the bridal party doesn't necessarily have to be all female.
   • You don't have to balance the number of bridesmaids with groomsmen.
   • Don't feel obligated to put people in your bridal party because they put you in theirs.

• The Job Description: Choose a great sidekick, someone who can handle the best man duties. He should be able and willing to:

1. Plan your bachelor party.
2. Attend wedding-related functions.
3. Make sure that you get to the church on time.
4. Counsel you through any wedding-related concerns or doubts.
5. Bring the wedding certificate to the ceremony.
6. Safeguard the bride's wedding ring until the couple exchanges vows.
7. Sign the marriage certificate.
8. Deliver a toast.

1. First in line: Choose your brother or your best friend, someone who's a big part of your life and always will be.
2. An upstanding guy:
   • You need a conscientious fellow who will remember to discretely dispense funds and tips to the officiant and vendors on the wedding day.
   • You'd do well to choose an honorable best man who won't embarrass you or make inappropriate comments during the toast. You might even want to discuss your choice with your bride-to-be.
3. A festive fellow: Choose an upbeat guy who will plan you a great bachelor party, dance with bridesmaids at your reception and lead the groomsmen in the pursuit of fun.
4. The big picture: Don't eliminate any great best man candidates over one criterion, such as the toast. If the guy you have in mind isn't a great public speaker, encourage him to keep the toast short and sweet.
5. Two best men: If your lovable best friend just isn't the kind of guy you'd trust to plan a party or get to the church on time and sober, choose a second best man to share the honor and the duties.

• The Job Description: Choose groomsmen who can handle the following responsibilities:

1. Rent a tuxedo. This probably shouldn't be too much to ask as groomsmen spend a fraction of what bridesmaids do on clothing expenses.
2. Help the best man plan and pay for the bachelor party.
3. Attend most of the wedding-related events, such as the bachelor party and ceremony rehearsal.
4. Arrive early to the ceremony location to help the groom prepare and greet wedding guests.
5. Usher guests to their seats at the ceremony.
6. Dance with the bridesmaids at the reception.
7. Help to decorate the getaway car, if appropriate.

• Line up a reliable group of guys that will help to keep things running smoothly on your wedding day.

1. Ideal Candidates: Choose close friends and family. Male siblings of the bride and groom, close cousins and good friends make ideal groomsmen.
2. Current Relationships: Choose groomsmen who are a part of your life now. Old friends with whom you haven't spoken in a while might be more of a distraction than a comfort.
3. Gut Feelings: Trust your gut feelings. If you really want someone by your side when you get married, ask him to be a groomsmen regardless of the number of guests or bridesmaids.
4. On Time: Choose responsible groomsmen who will be there for you, whether you need them to arrive on time for wedding photos or perform standard duties such as ushering at the wedding ceremony.

• Show your bridesmaids and groomsmen how grateful you are for the effort they put into helping you plan and celebrate your wedding.

1. Special Invites: When you invite your friends to join your wedding party, send along a personal note or a small gift to demonstrate how much they mean to you.
2. Great Outfits:
   • Choose stylish dresses for your bridesmaids. Let your best girls shine at your wedding in figure-flattering dresses that they'll actually want to wear.
   • Kick groomsmen fashion up a notch. Encourage your entourage to wear blazers and matching pants instead of tuxedos, or opt for modern skinny ties over bow ties. Draw groomsmen into the wedding's color scheme with ties, belts or pocket hankerchiefs that match the bridesmaid dresses.
3. Pay attention to them: Take a few moments to chat with your bridesmaids about their lives. The spotlight is on you, but that doesn't mean that your bridesmaids couldn't use a little bit of attention too.
4. Thank You Gifts: Give your bridal party and groomsmen a small gift to show them much you appreciate the time and attention that they've dedicated to helping you prepare for your wedding day.
   • Bridesmaids Gifts: Give your maid of honor and bridesmaids nice gifts, such as jewelry or tote bags. Here are some popular resources for bridesmaid gifts:
     • Knot Shop
     • American Bridal
     • FindGift.com
   • Groomsmen Gifts: Purchase small, classy items within your price range, such as cuff links, to thank your groomsmen for standing by you and assisting you on your wedding day. Groomsmen gift resources:
     • My Wedding Favors
     • Knot Shop
     • Exclusively Weddings
5. If the members of your wedding party have vastly different tastes, consider buying unique gifts for each person. One person's Barnes & Noble gift certificate is another person's Lakers ticket.

• Including children in your wedding ceremony adds a precious, yet unpredictable touch of charm. Here's what you need to know to pick the perfect pint-sized wedding attendants.

1. Before the bride enters the ceremony venue, the flower girl will carry a basket of flower petals up the aisle.
2. Before the bride enters the ceremony venue, the ring bearer carries a small pillow with either the actual wedding rings or replicas up the aisle and gives them to the best man.
3. Expect parents of the flower girl and ring bearer to pay for the childens' wedding outfits.

• Pick your flower girl and ring bearer from among your family or close friends' children.

1. If you want to include them, pick a flower girl or girls who are between the ages of three and six.
   • Including flower girls in the ceremony is optional.
2. If you choose to include a ring bearer in your ceremony, pick a young boy.
   • A ring bearer is not a necessity.
3. Choose well-behaved children who can handle the job.
   • Stick to kids who are four years old or older to increase the likelihood that the child will behave.
   • Invite flower girls to the bridal shower or bridal luncheon so that they will get to know the bridesmaids and be at ease around the wedding party.
   • Allow for a few tears and a little bit of confusion, but don't choose kids who are shy or whiny.
   • If you're unsure whether a child will be able to perform attendant duties, ask his or her parents for their opinion.

• The Knot: Bridesmaids: How to Choose Your Crew
• The Knot: Maid of Honor: Your Duties in Detail
• The Knot: Dealing with Problem Bridesmaids
• The Knot: Maid of Honor: Etiquette Q&A
• The Knot: Wedding Planning Basics: Ceremony Seating 101
• The Knot: Groomsmen: Their Duties In Detail
• The Knot: Bridesmaids: Setting Expectations
• The Knot: Bridesmaids: 8 Ways to Keep Them Happy
• The Knot: Ring Bearers: Their Duties In Detail
• The Knot: Flower Girls: Their Duties in Detail
• The Knot: Maid of Honor: Tips for Planning From Afar
• WeddingChannel.com: How Do You Select Groomsmen? How many?
• WeddingChannel.com: What Are Good Options for Groomsmen Gifts?
• eHow: How to Choose Your Bridal Party
• Real Simple: How to Choose Your Wedding Party
• Real Simple: Weddings: 10 Common Party Questions
• mywedding.com: How to Choose Your Wedding Party Wisely (May 1, 2007)
• eHow: How to Choose Your Best Man
• WeddingChannel.com: Bridal Party Ages
• eHow: How to Choose Your Maid of Honor
• Martha Stewart: Choosing Wedding Attendants
• Martha Stewart: Choosing the Wedding Party (2005)
• WeddingChannel.com: What Are Good Thank-You Gifts For The Bridal Party?
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