How to Buy an Engagement Ring

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Categories: Weddings | Living | How Tos

  • How to Buy an Engagement Ring will articulate the key steps to finding the proper symbol of your love and intention to marry. Read on to develop your knowledge of this multi-faceted subject.

  • Introduction

    • You have found the one. And you feel fairly confident that, if asked, the one will happily promise to spend the rest of her life with you. As if getting to this point wasn't hard enough, now you must find an appropriate symbol to represent that promise to enter into marriage. Buying an engagement ring may appear challenging, but it doesn't have to be. With our straightforward guide, you'll learn all the facets of ring shopping and will soon be bragging to friends about your knowledge of words like "inclusion," or your ability to differentiate between a princess cut and an emerald cut. And the best part? Finding the ring your significant other will swoon over now and cherish for years to come.

  • Step 1: Determine Your Budget

    • Your budget will determine the type and size of ring you can buy, so it is a critical first step.
    1. On average you can expect to spend $3,500 to $4,000 on a diamond engagement ring (though you can find rings with smaller stones for less money, and, of course, you can always spend more).
    2. You may have heard that you should spend two months' salary on an engagement ring. Truth is, this standard has no real roots outside of the diamond industry and its influential marketing gurus. Debt, just like diamonds, can be forever.
    3. If you still want to use the two months' salary as a general guideline, calculate that amount.
    4. Once you start thinking about buying a ring, it's best to start saving! Even putting away a little bit of money every week will make a huge difference over time.
    5. The ring you buy should fit into your budget, plain and simple. You should spend what you are comfortable spending, and take into account all the other financial factors in your life: are you saving for a house, do you have significant debt?
    6. As emotional as the engagement ring buying process can be, it's important to stick to your budget as this will be the first of many financial decisions you'll make that could affect your relationship in the future.

  • Step 2: What Stone?

    1. Naturally colored stones, or other gemstones are often substituted for the traditional diamond.
    2. If your significant other is a long-time human rights activist, your choice of stone could very well influence her answer! Even if you stick with a traditional diamond, you may want it to be conflict-free.
    3. Buying a colored gemstone will allow you to buy a bigger center stone because it is less expensive than a diamond.
    4. Some couples get even more creative, choosing engagement gifts that aren't rings at all.

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  • Step 3: Researching Diamonds

    • If you're going the traditional route, you'll need to buckle down. You thought your senior thesis involved a lot of research? Welcome to diamond shopping.
    VideoJug: How To Buy An Engagement Ring


  • The 4 Cs

    • You've probably heard about cut, clarity, color and carat when discussing diamonds. To become a true expert, however, you'll have to go beyond the shiny surface.
    • Color
    • The more clear, or colorless, the diamond, the better its color grade and its value.
    1. Diamonds are graded by color, and grades range from D (perfectly colorless) to Z (light yellow).
    2. The naked eye can rarely detect the difference between several color grades.
    3. The less color detected in a diamond, the more valuable it is. But more valuable does not necessarily mean more beautiful.
    4. In rare cases, color can be a good thing. "Fancy color" diamonds (usually pink, yellow, or blue) are highly prized and even more expensive than their colorless counterparts.
    • Clarity
    • Clarity tells you how "perfect" your diamond is; that is, does it have any blemishes?
    1. An "inclusion" is an imperfection in your diamond, often a "crystal" (a tiny mineral trapped inside the diamond) or a "feather" (a break in the diamond). There are additional types of inclusions to look for, as well.
    2. Most inclusions are not visible to the naked eye. You must use a jeweler's loupe to see them at 10x magnification. Experts recommend buying a diamond that is "eye clean," meaning no inclusions are visible without magnification.
    3. Clarity is graded two different ways: on a scale of 0 (no blemishes; perfect) to 10, and using the following groupings (note VS1 is of higher quality than VS2, and so on):
      1. Flawless (FL): Perfect inside and out.
      2. Internally Flawless (IF): Perfect internally with slight blemishes on the surface that are difficult to see under magnification.
      3. Very, Very Slightly Included (VVS1 and VVS2): Very difficult to see inclusions under 10x magnification. Excellent quality diamonds.
      4. Very Slightly Included (VS1 and VS2): It is nearly impossible to see inclusions with the naked eye, but you can find them using 10x magnification.
      5. Slightly Included (SI1, SI2, and SI3): These diamonds have inclusions that are easily found using 10x magnification. With these diamonds, where the inclusions are in the diamond make a difference.
      6. Included (I1, I2, and I3): These diamonds have inclusions which can be seen easily with the naked eye. These diamonds' blemishes may affect the brilliance of the stone.
    4. Some experts say you can drop 7 grades of clarity without noticing if you have a well-cut diamond.
    • Cut
    • There are many different options for how your "raw" (uncut) diamond is cut, and all of them will try to optimize how your diamond reflects light. When you choose how your diamond will be cut, you are hoping for excellent craftsmanship.
    1. The cut of your diamond consists of two things: shape and symmetry. Shapes include:
      1. Round
      2. Pear
      3. Emerald
      4. Asscher
      5. Oval
      6. Marquise
      7. Princess
      8. Cushion
      9. Radiant
    2. See Amazon's sketches of different cuts (as well as illustrations of how a diamond's cut reflects light).
    3. Some say cut is the most important of the 4 Cs.
    4. Oval, pear, and marquise diamonds often look bigger than their weight would suggest.
    5. Princess and radiant cuts can look smaller than their weight would suggest.
    6. When evaluating cut, you are looking for overall symmetry, polish, and ability to reflect and manipulate light.
    7. A good cut can make a diamond look bigger and brighter, so it is imperative that cut is geometrically precise.
    • Carat

    • The key point when understanding carat is that your price will grow geometrically as the diamond gets bigger. This is also the most objective of your diamond's characteristics.
    1. "Carat weight" is how diamonds are measured. One carat equals 1/5 of a gram, or 1/142 of an ounce.
    2. One carat equals 100 "points," so a diamond that is 3/4 carat is 75 points. When you are looking at the tag and it reads 1.03, your diamond consists of 103 points.
    3. There is usually a price jump at the 1 carat mark. You could save significantly by purchasing an excellent quality diamond that weighs in at .98 carat and likely not be able to tell the difference between it and a 1 carat stone.
    4. In general, for $500 or less, you could buy a ring with a quarter carat diamond.
    5. For closer to $1,000, you could buy a ring with a .3 to .5 carat diamond that may be certified.
    6. Expect to spend between $3,500 and $5,000 for quality 1 carat stones.

  • Things to Consider

    1. If possible, try to find out which is more important to her: size or quality. These two factors can be inversely proportional, as the bigger the rock, the easier it is to find flaws.
    2. You can usually find good-sized diamonds with flaws that are not visible to the naked eye.
    3. You may also care deeply about the provenance of your diamond: is your diamond conflict-free?
    4. It may be important to ease your guilt about the diamond you are purchasing, or learn more about your alternatives.
    • To do further research, consider buying a book that will explain the process of purchasing a diamond.

  • Step 4: What Ring Style?

    • Aspects to consider include shape and setting. Also keep in mind how a wedding band will look with a particular engagement ring.
    1. The setting you choose will present the stone you have chosen and can add real aesthetic value to your ring.
    2. There are myriad settings available in many different styles.
    3. Some couples choose a setting together, after you have chosen an appropriate center stone.
    4. Do you have a sense of what style of setting to look for? Some options include:
      1. Solitaire in prongs (single stone usually set in multiple prongs on a simple band)
      2. Solitaire with baguettes (same center stone but flanked by rectangular shaped diamonds)
      3. Solitaire with additional stones (same center stone surrounded by sapphires, for example, or set between two similar-sized rubies)
      4. Alternative center stone (a sapphire, for example, instead of a diamond)
      5. Eternity band (a band set with continuous, smaller diamonds; no center stone that is larger than the rest)

  • Precious Metals

    • Will the ring you choose be set in platinum? White gold? Yellow gold? Depending on your price range and taste, you will find the right precious metal.
    1. Precious metals like gold and platinum function like securities trading on the stock exchange: their price fluctuates according to supply and demand.
    2. Check current market prices, which lately continue to rise, to stay in the know about how precious metals are faring.
    3. Platinum is the most expensive precious metal used in engagement ring bands because of its rarity, density, and relative weight. Gold is the next expensive, but it depends on its weight. 18 carat gold is more expensive than 14 carat, for example.
    4. A traditional platinum band with a 6-prong setting costs around $500.
    5. The same style in 18 carat gold costs around $300.
    6. Remember that metals are based on weight, so a thicker band will cost more. And of course a band with additional detailing or custom work will be more expensive too.
    7. It's also important to determine your significant other's taste: does she always wear gold? Does she have any metal allergies?
    8. Titanium and palladium are recently popular alternatives to traditional precious metals, and will give you a major price break.

  • Step 5: Start Shopping

    • Now that you know a little bit about the market, it's time to hit the stores!

  • Do Some Investigative Work

    • Before you go shopping, though, check if there's a particular ring you should be shopping for:
    1. Has your significant other mentioned a ring she likes (has a friend recently become engaged or has she conveniently left any pictures of rings lying around?)
    2. If you feel comfortable, you might subtly ask your intended what kind of ring she would like.
    3. If you feel really comfortable, you could even go look at rings together to get a sense of what she would like.
    4. If you want your engagement to be a complete surprise, consider asking your intended's close friend, sister, mother, etc. for some input, or to come along.

  • Determine Her Size

    • Asking your intended her ring finger size could be a dead giveaway, so tread carefully with this task.
    1. Try "borrowing" (don't ask first!) a ring you've seen her wear on her ring finger. Bring it to your jeweler to have it sized.
    2. Err on the side of caution: if you aren't certain of the size, buy a ring that is a little bigger than you think it should be. It's much easier for a jeweler to size down than make a ring larger.

  • Where to shop?

    • The best way to find a good jeweler is to ask people you trust.
    1. Close friends or family members who have recently been married should have some good recommendations for you.
    2. You will spend less if you can find a wholesale jeweler. The big stores you recognize will factor advertising, pricey real estate leases, marketing, and other operating costs into the price of your diamond.
    3. Be sure to double check a jeweler's reputation by looking him up on the Better Business Bureau.
    4. Online wedding resources such as The Knot offer advice on finding the right engagement ring.
    5. You may want to mouse around on an online jeweler's site to get an idea of price and to experiment with different shapes and sizes before (or instead of) braving the stores in person.
    6. Also see Mahalo's guide to Engagement Rings.

  • Make Sure It's Certified

    • You'll want to find a ring that's been certified by a gemological institution.
    1. A diamond certification is a printed report about your particular stone, done by an independent gem lab.
    2. It will describe your diamond, reviewing all its characteristics as listed above (cut, color, carat weight, etc.), as well as any imperfections.
    3. It may state the replacement value of your stone, which is useful for insurance purposes.
    4. Many insurance companies will require certification, and certification can help authenticate your stone.
    5. Two of the most popular gemological labs are the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) and the American Gem Society Laboratory (AGSL).
    6. It has become increasingly important to buy a certified diamond with the rise of technology to avoid counterfeit stones.

  • Use Your Knowledge of the 4 Cs

    • Review your research, above, and question your jeweler about the various characteristics of each diamond you consider.
    1. Look for a diamond's color on a white background so you can tell how clear it truly is (all diamonds are going to look fairly clear on a black background).
    2. Your jeweler can place your diamond on a scale for you to confirm its carat weight.
    3. Make sure to use your jeweler's loupe to discern any imperfections in your stone.
    4. Questions to ask:
      1. Is the diamond certified?
      2. What is its cut? Does it appear symmetrical? Reflect light brilliantly?
      3. What is its color? Where on the spectrum does it fall?
      4. What is its clarity designation? Are flaws visible to the naked eye? Are they internal flaws or on the surface? Where within the diamond are the inclusions?
      5. What kind of settings would work with this stone? Can I see the stone in a setting that would look good?
      6. If my significant other doesn't like the ring, what are my options?
    5. You may want to bring along a friend to help you decide.

  • Try to Negotiate

    • Depending on the type of jeweler you're using (independent versus big store), you may be able to negotiate your price.
    1. With your budget in mind, state a maximum price that is actually lower than the total you can spend. This will give you room to go up if necessary.
    2. Do your research ahead of time: check current prices of precious metals and investigate the deals available online. A little comparison shopping will help you understand what is on offer and will give you some ammunition when negotiating.
    3. You may get a break for paying in cash, since the jeweler will not be required to give a percentage of the sale to a credit card company (as retailers must do to use their services).

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  • Step 6: Buying on a Budget

  • Think Outside the Box

    1. Purchasing a ring from an antique store or a vintage ring online (because the technology of cutting diamonds has improved, older diamonds may not have the same "sparkle" but can be less expensive).
    2. Is there a stone in your family you could reset?
    3. Rings that use smaller stones (such as eternity bands in various styles) can be less expensive than buying one large diamond.
    4. White gold is a less expensive but similar looking alternative to platinum in terms of setting, and 14 carat gold is less expensive than 18 carat gold.

  • Step 7: Consider Insurance

    • Because this is such a major purchase, you may want to consider your insurance options.
    1. See Mahalo's guide, How to Insure Your Engagement Ring.
    2. Research your home owner's or renter's insurance to see what options are available to you.
    3. You'll need to get a written appraisal for your ring, and you should photograph it as well.
    4. Consider separate jewelry insurance if the options available to you aren't desirable.
    5. Then be sure to keep it in a safe place until the crucial moment!

  • Conclusion

    • If you've made it this far, you're well-armed to battle the engagement ring challenge. Keep a clear head, buy a ring you can afford, and be happy knowing you have already done the hardest part: find the right person to wear it. And if you are so freaked out by the prospect of choosing such an important piece of jewelry, propose with a "symbol" (Cracker Jack ring, piece of ribbon, handwritten "gift certificate", etc.), with the promise that the two of you will pick out her ring together to ensure it's the right one.

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