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You have probably seen someone who is a very good conversationalist. They make it all look so easy and effortless, and not the complex art that it really is. While we cannot all expect to become experts overnight, there are steps that can lead us well on our way toward our conversation goals.
You do not need any formal education or courses to be a great conversationalist. Some children can keep the class spellbound when doing their show and tell in class, or on the playground. They understand the basic principles of good conversation already. Once you are aware of the basics, you can continue to improve throughout your life as you move from personal to workplace situations. Understanding how to make good conversation can ease your life in all situations where there is interaction with others. Some examples might be in your marriage, job, work group, with golfing buddies, in volunteer work, and interacting with your children and friends. It is well worth the effort to learn and could potentially affect much of your life in a positive way.
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Tips
- Lifelong learning: Continue to learn about new things formally or informally EG. attend workshops, courses, conferences, events of interest, join clubs or organizations of interest
- Look for Opportunities to Speak: EG. Volunteer in your community, participate in committees, contribute by speaking up or writing when participants are needed in your everyday life
- Don't Dump on Your Audience: People appreciate you if you bring a positive attitude to the table and don't take your personal frustrations out on others.
- Have Fun: Remember that the people listening to you probably would enjoy having a good time when speaking to you and if you are enjoying the conversation also, that makes two of you.
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Expertvillage: How to Be a Good Listener : Good Listeners: Responses
Tracy Goodwin has a masters in corporate communication and 10 years of experience in professional speaking. This 2 minute video covers probably the mo ... read moreTracy Goodwin has a masters in corporate communication and 10 years of experience in professional speaking. This 2 minute video covers probably the most underrated but important role of a good conversationalist - listening and responding to the other person. Without this step you don't really have a conversation, but a speech or a performance because real conversations go in both directions.
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Step 1: Have Something Interesting to Say
This may seem obvious, but not everyone knows about this and it is key to your success. We have all been stuck at a party or event next to someone who goes on and on about all the the minute details of their daily life. Unless we are really interested in their situation, most people learn to avoid such people because they become too boring to listen to. On the other hand, people who have interesting topics to discuss often have the opposite effect. We are drawn to someone who is always interesting. -
Step 2: Listen to and Interact with Others Respectfully
If speaking to others was all there was to it, then this page would be called How to Deliver a Speech instead, or How to Become a Professional Writer and just read what you have written out. It may seem odd to bring this up, but if there is no audience you are not talking about a real conversation. The other participant and how they react to you is critical to your success even if you do all the other things right.What do you mean by interact with others respectfully? Listen to what the person says and follow along with their conversation giving feedback when needed. Do not be lost in your own thoughts planning your next thing to say. Focus on what is happening and react to it, facilitate it. Nod, smile, be pleasant, add to what they are saying when it helps, give the other person their space and a friendly environment to share what they have to say. Don't interrupt to make your own points if it disrupts the flow of the conversation unless you are both debating. It is alright if the other person does most of the talking because if that person is happy that you have listened to them well and comes back for more conversations, then you have been a success. Be aware of their body language. If they are falling asleep it may be time to tell a joke or funny story, or let them go home and get some rest.
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Step 3: Practice Makes Perfect
If How to Start a Conversation is very difficult for you, then you are not conversing with others enough to make it an everyday and ordinary event. Joining in groups or associations is a great way to get your feet wet and naturally gain practice in fun settings. For example, joining a Toastmasters Club will give you lots of practice in impromptu speaking settings, or volunteering at a local theatre company or community organization, or a committee at work. If you remember how hard it was to learn the alphabet and how to read initially, but then later once you got in the flow it was not difficult at all. Being at ease and comfortable speaking well with others can not only relieve a lot of stress in your life it can often have positive side effects like opportunities for promotion in the workplace and more popularity among your friends. -
Resources Powered by Google
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Ten Sure-Fire Ways to 'Make' Conversation
Ten Sure-Fire Ways to ‘Make’ Conversationteach-nology.com -
Work and Life Balance: 7 Tips to Become A Good Conversationalist
Work and Life Balance: 7 Tips to Become A Good Conversationalistwork-and-life-balance.blogspot.com
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Questions and Answers About How to Become a Good Conversationalist
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Do you have any good tips on how to make better conversations? 4 AnswersI just wrote my first managed page on listening skills It is a step by step guide on how to do empathic listening, and the page suggests some things to do and s... read more -
How does one become a good person? 5 AnswersBeing a good person is loving everyone. 1.Be impeccable with your word, it is your strongest weapon for good or evil. 2. Take nothing personally, because whatev... read more -
Why does dollar devaluation cause any exportable good to become more expensive? 1 AnswerIf you've got a surplus of the commodity, then devalueing your currency makes the commodity cheaper for foriegners, but it should stay the same price for buyers... read more
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How to Become a Good Conversationalist News
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Talkin' 'bout my conversation
What most people don't realise is that anyone can become good at it if they try. "Conversation is a choice; you have to choose to do it consciously. ... (February 06, 2010)The Age -
Lord Browne: 'I'm much happier now than I've ever been'
He describes his mother as his "number one supporter and conversationalist. She just listened and that was very important." In many ways, she fulfilled the ... (February 07, 2010)Huffington Post (blog) -
Miss America Attributes Success to Being Herself
Limbaugh told the Washington Post that Cameron was an “…extraordinarily good conversationalist, amazing presence, unique and classic beauty, glamour… and ... (February 01, 2010)TheCelebrityCafe.com -
'After Pak Marriott bombing, he said it could happen here'
... thought the American he had nicknamed 'Agent Headley' was just a charmer and a good conversationalist and did not suspect anything amiss. ... (February 03, 2010)Expressindia.com
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How to Become a Good Conversationalist Blogs
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Obsession with Reading: Giveaway: A Good Talk by Daniel Menaker
Drawing on over forty years of experience in American letters, Menaker pinpoints the factors that drive and enliven every good conversation: the vagaries (and joys) of subtext; the deeper structure and meaning of conversational flow;... (February 08, 2010)obsessionwithreading.blogspot.com -
How to Attract Women – Attract Women With Humor | Get A New Girlfriend
Become a good conversationalist … Shy and timid men don't speak much so how can women find you attract if you don't communicate your attractive traits. Unless you have master zen level ninjitzu yoda body language and can make girls ... (February 08, 2010)getanewgirlfriend.net -
Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast! (Peter ...
Your goal is to become so fascinated by other people that your focus is on what they say, how they say it and why they say it. 6 Tips for Becoming Other Conscious: 1. Pay attention to the way people breathe, watch closely and ... (February 08, 2010)blog.vici.ro -
Ask a Manager: when does advice become consulting?
... irritated by it because they made it seem as though they were instrumental in the start up and have received industry recognition (such as speaking engagements) on a project that they really didn't participate in other than a brief c... (February 08, 2010)askamanager.blogspot.com
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