In a world full of self doubt, there's nothing wrong with deciding that you want to become a better person. This page will get you started in the right direction, tell you how to make a positive contribution and subsequently how to make a difference as you become a role model, whether this is your intent or not.

Before you start, ask yourself a potentially difficult question. If being a better person means being a more successful person, then it would be wise to determine what you mean by “success.” Someone may have wealth and fame, but a failed marriage. That person is not truly successful. Someone may have worked hard to climb to the top by squashing others along the way. That person is not truly successful. If you are passionate about what you do, love doing it, have a balanced life and help people along the way, that is a much better definition of success. Setting exemplary goals and achieving them will enable you to become a better person. There are some initial steps.

Self-assessment is critical. This article will provide a guideline, with good solid advice to assist you with your journey of self-exploration and your quest for betterment. Sitting by yourself - all by yourself with no distractions - and thinking hard about why you feel the need to become a better person is essential. Face value, it would behoove everyone to want to try to be a better person, but you need to take a close look at what's inspiring you. It has to come from within you and your personal internal fortitude.

Here is the initial process. It helps to write down your thoughts, so buy a good journal, or a notebook. This is an important document, and these are important questions. Write them down, then answer them honestly.

• What - what are you trying to accomplish
• Where - where do you want to go with your growth
• Why - why do you feel you want to become a better person
• How - how will you go about the process
• When - when will you be ready to begin the work
• Who - who is motivating you - you or someone else

So the initial process does not need to be very proactive in the sense that you do not need to sign up for the Peace Corps tomorrow. Giving back to the community may become essential for you, or it may not. Or, you may feel the need to do something quite different to achieve your goal of being a better person.

Once you have finished the process of basic self-discovery, then take the next steps toward your goal.

Before you can become a better person, you need to know how to love yourself. Your self-esteem needs to be in a very healthy place. If by becoming a better person you mean that you need to improve your own opinion of your own self worth, these are the building blocks that will help you improve. They cannot be your goals.

One of the by-products of becoming a better person is feeling very certain about the person you already are. If you have self-loathing, you have just lengthened your road significantly. Your foundation is weak. Here is why. People with low self-esteem manifest in several different ways. One of these is criticism. Another is being judgmental. Another is bullying. Anyone who is hyper-critical, judgmental and/or a bully does not think much of him or herself. If someone in your life is trying to negatively influence your self-esteem be degrading or belittling you and you believe them and are letting them succeed, you are not ready to become a better person. You are ready to heal. A broken psyche cannot work toward improved enlightenment.

So, by default, your initial step is to know with your heart of hearts that you are a good person. That you count. That you feel good about what you do and about your endeavors.

Once you feel comfortable in your own skin and are "ok" with the person you are, you can begin to achieve improvement. Caution - do not get sidetracked. Just because you've determined that you are basically an acceptable human does not put you in position to make attempts to directly influence others. The "better" person will inspire, not preach. Also, once you feel basically good about yourself, do not become complacent. You have only just achieved the critical process of being able to move ahead, not stop.

There's an old expression - "I'm okay, you're okay." This is precisely what is being referred to. Your quest is not to better anyone but yourself.

Once you've accomplished the process of self-assessment, personal fortitude and forward, it's time to take a look at motivation. Have you yet defined what it is about yourself that you want to be better? It's different things for different people. An excellent way to begin the work is to take a look at your personal traits. Aside from the self-esteem issues that have been covered, it there anything in particular that you don't like about yourself in the way of specific attributes: impatient, jealous, shy, unreliable, too compulsive - it's a long list of possibilities, but only you can define what they are within yourself, and what you'd like to improve. Self improvement is definitely part of the process of becoming a better person.

As an exercise, pick a specific trait about yourself that you do not like, or would like to improve. Write it in your journal and focus on that "project." For the sake of this article, let's say that you are an impatient person and you do not like that about yourself. What is the true nature of impatience? Is it a time issue, or a control issue? Is it that you want the time line to accelerate in general, or do you want to have something happen within your own time frame, irrespective of the realities of the situation, other people involved, etc.

Pick apart the traits within yourself that you want to improve and examine them thoroughly like the example above. After all, if you feel no motivation toward working on your own unfavorable attributes, your quest to become a better person is dubious. The reality is that you only seek to be better than someone else. The cause is defeated.

By now, if you have followed the guidelines, you are certain that you a basically a good person. You have also isolated some areas that could use improvement and have improved them. In essence, you are already an improved person because you are more of a whole person. Now you can work to become a better person in the way you want to be.

Is there someone you look up to and think, "He/she is such a great person. I wish I could be more like that." Isolate the "that" part. What is it in someone who inspires you? You will find the better person inspires through example. This is precisely how it is done. Strong positive traits that you aspire to are not provided by someone who tells you do do something.

Isolate what you define as "better." Focus on that definition. Know without a doubt that you have the motivation to achieve what you begin. This is not a New Years resolution, or a diet, or a quit smoking scenario. This is a soul-deep commitment to being better than you were and in doing so, you will make a difference. Making a difference is a by-product of being a better person. It should not be a goal.

If you feel that you will be a better person through community service, focus on that goal, commit to it, and serve as a shining example by trying your best. Perhaps you feel that you need to "give back." If there's something that you are really good at - sports, music, teaching - share it. Sharing and generosity are excellent personality traits. Give of yourself and you time by giving to others, if this is what you feel will make you a better person. Define what it is you wish to accomplish it that will enable you to know, in your heart of hearts, that it will make you a better person.