How I Met Your Mother Quotes

Categories: Entertainment | Television
    • Season premiere: September 22, 2008
    • Network: CBS
    • New episodes: Mondays at 8:30/7:30cSpoilerFix: How I Met Your Mother (September 28, 2008)
    • First aired: September 19, 2005
    • Narrated by: Bob Saget
  • This page contains quotes from the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother. The show stars Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders, and explains the story of Ted Mosby and his quest to meet his future wife.
  • Cast

  • Quotes

    Barney: (to Ted) "Look at you, ya beautiful bastard! You suited up! This is totally going in my blog!"

    Barney: "It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is...DAIRY!"

    Barney: "You dumped a porn star? Friendship over."

    Marshall: "I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever."

    Lily: (to Barney) "Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes."

    Ted: "If a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy world, then so can I!"

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