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- Created by: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld
- Network: NBC
- Seasons: 9
- Episodes: 180
- Aired: 1990-1998
- Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
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This page contains quotes from George Costanza, who is a fictional character played by Jason Alexander on the popular sitcom Seinfeld. George appeared in 174 episodes of the show, which aired between 1990 and 1998 on NBC.
Seinfeld was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, and followed the everyday experiences of Jerry and his three friends, George Costanza, Elaine Benes and Kramer.
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Quotes
- "Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
- Answering Machine: "Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home"
- "Kramer, listen to me. I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score, that's it for me."
- "I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"
- "Serenity now!"
- "Well... I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptial agreement."
- "My name is Art Vandelay. I'm an architect."
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George Costanza Top Quotes
- Wikiquote: Seinfeld Quotes
- Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
- My name is Buck Naked. I'm a porno actor.
- KAAAAAAAAAAAAHNNNNNNNNNNNN!
- I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'
- I've Driven Women to Lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution.
- My name is Art Vandelay. I'm an architect.
- Maybe she has toe thumbs . . . Is her handshake a little firm? Perhaps too firm?
- You should've seen the look on her face. It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.
- Cheesy music in the background, which is actually the theme song from "The Greatest American Hero") Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. [George's Answering Machine]
- IMDb: George Costanza Quotes
- Kramer, listen to me. I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score, that's it for me.
- I remember that night like it was yesterday. I had just the perfect combination of pizza grease and grape soda.
- Lois: Have you designed any buildings in New York?
- George Costanza: Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim?
- Lois: You did that?
- George Costanza: Yep. And it didn't take very long either.
- Jerry Seinfeld: He's a bubble-boy!
- George Costanza: A bubble-boy?
- Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, a bubble-boy.
- Susan Biddle Ross: What's a bubble-boy?
- Jerry Seinfeld: He lives in a bubble.
- George Costanza: Boy!
- Jerry, George Costanza: Elaine!
- Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage?
- Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?
- Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards.
- Elaine: It shrinks?
- Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
- Elaine: Why does it shrink?
- George Costanza: It just does.
- Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
- George Costanza: I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!
- George Costanza: [Soup Nazi gives him a look] Medium turkey chili.
- [instantly moves to the cashier]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Medium crab bisque.
- George Costanza: [looks in his bag and notices no bread in it] I didn't get any bread.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Just forget it. Let it go.
- George Costanza: Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread.
- Soup Nazi: Bread, $2 extra.
- George Costanza: $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
- Soup Nazi: You want bread?
- George Costanza: Yes, please.
- Soup Nazi: $3!
- George Costanza: What?
- Soup Nazi: NO SOUP FOR YOU!
- Cosmo Kramer: Hey
- George Costanza: You fixed me up with a bald woman!
- Cosmo Kramer: [flinches]
- Cosmo Kramer: Bald?
- George Costanza: Yeah, that's right
- Elaine: Do you see the irony here? You're rejecting somebody because they're bald!
- George Costanza: So?
- Elaine: [puts her hands up to her mouth] You're bald!
- George Costanza: [George rushes into Jerry's apartment] Did anybody call here asking for Vandelay Industries?
- Jerry: No, what happened to you?
- George Costanza: All right, listen closely, I was at the unemployment office and I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandelay Industries, and I gave them your phone number. So now, when the phone rings, you have to answer "Vandelay Industries".
- Jerry: I'm Vandelay Industries?
- George Costanza: Right.
- Jerry: What is that?
- George Costanza: You're in latex.
- Jerry: What do I do with latex?
- George Costanza: I don't know, you manufacture it.
- Elaine: Right here in this little apartment?
- Jerry: And what do I say about you?
- George Costanza: You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.
- Jerry: I'm gonna hire you as my latex salesman? I don't think so. Why would I do that?
- George Costanza: Because I asked you to.
- Jerry: If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit at a desk, pushing papers around, you can forget it. I get enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff.
- George Costanza: [referring to Kramer and Newman's Risk game] What's that?
- Jerry: Oh, it's Risk, the game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.
- Classic TV Quotes: George Costanza Quotes
- George: All right, Dad, we're five blocks from the house. Sit sideways.
- Frank: Like an animal. Because of her, I have to sit here like an animal! Serenity now! Serenity now!
- George: What is that?
- Frank: Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'Serenity now!'
- George: Are you supposed to yell it?
- Frank: The man on the tape wasn't specific.
- George: Listen... there's something that's been on my mind and we haven't really talked about it. It's kind of important to me.
- Susan: What is it?
- George: Well... I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptial agreement.
- Susan: A pre-nup?
- George: Yeah.
- Susan: [bursts out laughing]
- George: What's so funny?
- Susan: You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. Ha ha. Yeah, gimme the papers I'll sign 'em.
- Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
George Costanza Quotes Questions
George Carlin Tribute: What is your favorite quote AND video by George Carlin? 7 AnswersI love George Carlin. It's so sad that he's gone. One of my favorite sayings of his is "NIMBY" which is "Not In My Back Yard". That one is great and probably ... read more
can a girl dress up as boy george 5 AnswersAbsolutely. I don't see why not...You can dress up as whomever..it's part of dressing up! Boy George would be a fun one to dress up as too! read more
Why is Melissa George leaving Greys Anatomy? 5 AnswersShe commented that "it was my choice" and a "Grey's insider" commented that "Melissa's arc came to a natural end." Being forced by my wife to watch the show,... read more
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- Wikiquote: Seinfeld Quotes
