George Carlin

  • Grammy Award-winning stand-up comedian George Carlin lampooned American culture and the English language from early appearances in the 1960s until his death, from heart failure, at the age of 71 on June 22, 2008. Comedy Central named him as the second greatest stand-up comic of all time. Richard Pryor was #1.
  • Popular Routines

    In the 1970s, Carlin first performed the "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" routine. He was arrested for violating obscenity laws for performing the bit in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in 1972.

    One of Carlin's most famous routines discusses the differences between football and baseball. "Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying."

  • Quotes

    • "Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!"
    • "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
    • "I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade."
    • "Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
    • "I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
    • "What was the best thing before sliced bread?"

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