Celebrity Sex Quotes

This page is dedicated to celebrity quotes about sex. Some are honest opinions while other quotes were said purely for their comedic value.

Celebrity Male Sex Quotes

    • Jerry Seinfeld: "A really hard laugh is like sex--one of the ultimate diversions of existence."
    • George Carlin: "Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs."
    • Rodney Dangerfield: "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
    • Steve Martin: "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
    • George Burns: "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
    • Billy Crystal: "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
    • Woody Allen: "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!"
    • Hugh Hefner: "Part of the sexual revolution is bringing rationality to sexuality -- because when you don't embrace sexuality in a normal way, you get the twisted kinds, and the kinds that destroy lives."
    • Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love."
    • Jeff Foxworthy: "Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts."
    • George Burns: "It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
    • Woody Allen: "The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right."
    • Groucho Marx: "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
    • Dr. Phil McGraw: "The problem is that for women, the average time is just over 14 minutes,.. men are left with about 12 minutes during which time they need to think of something to do!"
    • Groucho Marx: "I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls."
  • The Quotations Page: Sex
    • Garry Shandling: "I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know."

Celebrity Female Sex Quotes

    • Sharon Stone: "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
    • Paris Hilton: "It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything."
    • Angelina Jolie: "I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting."
    • Marilyn Monroe: "Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him."
    • Paris Hilton: "No matter what a woman looks like, if she's confident, she's sexy."
  • BrainyQuote.com:
    • Angelina Jolie: "I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess. "

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