• • Lost is one of the most bizarre television shows to ever land on prime time TV and remain there for more than one season. What's incredibly disturbing about the show, aside from the total lack of anything approaching a story-line or linear narrative, are the layers of fictional businesses and fictional brands that have emerged not only in the weirdest places on the show, but sometimes with a real-life online presence of their own.

• • Oceanic Airlines is one such brand. I keep waiting for an actual airline to try to launch with that same name in a crazy post-modern suicide pact with the audience of Lost. The crashed fuselage of Flight 815 also had a nice Dharma Initiative (a subsidiary of the Hanso Foundation) watermark on the side of it in one scene of the second episode where young Walt was standing on a wing. Additionally, Dharma Initiative branding has been found on multiple items on the island, most notably chips, candy bars, and jars of peanut butter.

• • Now things get very bizarre in the current season of Lost, when we discover that the arch-rival company of the Hanso Foundation, Widmore Corporation has a boat parked offshore from the island. Widmore happens to manufacture pregnancy tests, such as the one used by Sun in the previous season. How did a Widmore Corporation pregnancy test get on a Hanso Foundation island? Perhaps season one's Dharma Initiative-tattooed shark could tell us? I mean, what the hell is going on?

So far-ranging are the products of the Looney Tunes "Acme" brand, the word itself is an acronym for "A Company that Makes Everything." You can tell Acme has mastered the art of branding, because they're constantly getting repeat business despite proving themselves utterly incapable of producing an actual working device. I will say this, their speedy, efficient Delivery Service puts UPS and FedEx to shame. There's nothing like instantaneous shipping to keep your customers happy, particularly if they're desperately hungry wildlife occupying remote desert areas.

Motto: If it's Acme, it's a gasser!

• • The Bluth Company builds high cost, low quality mini-mansions (or at least one of them) in Orange County, California's "Sudden Valley." The company was founded by George Bluth Sr., but since his incarceration for committing "light treason" (contracting homes for Saddam Hussein), George's son Michael has become acting President. The Bluth Company also has a subsidiary, unrelated to real estate, which is the Frozen Banana Stand Franchise run by George Michael. The Banana Stand was affectionately nicknamed the "Big Yellow Joint" by locals in the 60s, due to its uncanny resemblance to a marijuana cigarette. GOB owns all rights to the Banana Stand's mascot, Mister Banana Grabber, except for animation rights.

• • The critics missed it, and you've probably missed it too, but Mike Judge's Idiocracy remains one of the best condemnations of the absurdity of our commercially-driven society. In the film, no brand is spared, with equal punishment being dished out to Costco, Starbucks and Carl's Jr. However, the film's greatest fictional brand is Brawndo, a sports beverage so amazing that it eventually makes society dismiss water as "from the toilet."

• • If only Navin Johnson had been content with the fame that having his name in the phone book brought him, he and his beloved dog Sh*thead never would have gotten into this whole Opti-Grab mess. In 1979's The Jerk, the Opti-Grab was the little invention that could until, of course, it made all its wearers cross-eyed. Lawsuits followed, and Navin, played by Steve Martin at the height of his wild and crazy days, lost it all.

• Hulu: The Jerk

• Wikipedia: The Jerk
• The Jerk (26th Anniversary Edition) (Sponsored)
• IMDB: The Jerk WARNING: Pop-ups
• Jerk, The 11"x17" Reproduction Movie Poster (Sponsored)

• • Strickland Propane is your number one source for all your propane and propane accessory needs. Sure, you might save a little more money getting your propane at the Mega Lo Mart, but you won't get the kind of personal service that only Strickland Propane can provide. Just ask assistant manager and 41-time employee of the month Hank Hill (who wouldn't be caught dead using charcoal). So taste the meat, not the heat.

• Hulu: Hank Hill Grilling With Propane
• Wikipedia: Strickland Propane

• • It's hard to think of an aspect of our lives not touched by Wayne Enterprises. One of America's premier providers of innovative biological, military and aerospace technologies, the Gotham-based conglomerate has been a bedrock of industry since its foundation as a merchant house in the 1600s. Its subsidiaries include Gotham's largest shipping, steel, and shipbuilding companies. Their chemical division even outpaces Axis Chemicals in terms of pharmaceutical development and environmental innovation.

• • As an extension of the company, the philanthropic Wayne Foundation, a close project of former CEO Thomas Wayne, provides medical assistance to Gotham's needy and finances the modifications and improvements to Arkham Asylum. The foundation is also responsible for Gotham City's intricate monorail system.

• • CEO Bruce Wayne is known for his extreme privacy, often staying in his mansion for days at a time. Though a known martial arts hobbyist, Wayne often inexplicably appears at press conferences with mysterious bruises. Wayne often attributes these minor injuries to "excessive partying".

• • If any product is going to send you into an apoplectic fit of violence, shouldn't it be Fruity Oaty Bars? It did the trick for Serenity's River Tam, who went ballistic thanks to the subliminal trigger buried in the ad by Alliance evil-doers. So, feel free to watch the ad; just try to avoid any sudden outbursts.

• YouTube: Fruity Oaty Bar Commercial (Time: 0:37)
• Wikipedia: Serenity
• Serenity (Widescreen Edition) (Sponsored)
• IMDB: Serenity WARNING: Pop-ups

• • Cornballs, from the Cornballer, are a Bluth family tradition. On Arrested Development, the Cornballer was yet another one of George Bluth Sr.'s not-quite-legal money-making schemes. The Cornballer never quite lived up to U.S. product safety standards, but it was a hit South of the Border.

• • Don't touch that. Never touch that. - Michael Bluth

• Hulu: "Bringing Up Buster"

• Wikipedia: Arrested Development
• IMDB: Arrested Development

• • Much like non-fictional soft drinks, Futurama's Slurm is widely consumed, somewhat addictive (well, according to their slogan, "It's highly addictive!"), and could make you a small fortune from the Tooth Fairy. However, unlike our real-life favorite sodas (hopefully), Slurm comes from deep in the bowels of a giant slug queen living somewhere in space on the distant planet Wormulon. Still, party worm and spokesslug Slurms McKenzie makes the gooey, green pop seem so satisfying that you can't help but want to crack open a warm one with Fry and Bender. Just watch out for that pesky golden bottlecap.

• Hulu: Slurm Factory Tour (Time: 4:28)

• Wikipedia: Fry and the Slurm Factory
• Got Futurama: Slurm

• • "During the hard years following the social security bankruptcy and subsequent crash of the markets in 2009, food prices became prohibitively expensive. Rather than let humanity starve, the Soylent Corporation stepped forward, offering a cheap, healthy alternative to junk food. Launching their brand with Soylent Yellow, the company grew in from a small regional produce to a nationwide supplier to supplement stores everywhere. Following the success of Soylent Yellow, they launched the even more popular Soylent Red, a bar which, thanks to a secret formula of plankton, soy, and other nutritional supplements, kept the nation fit and ready to work. The crowning glory of the brand was to be Soylent Green, a flavor-filled concoction which proved to be even more popular than either of its predecessors. Sadly, the Corporation itself fell victim to a gross misunderstanding of their populist marketing message: 'Soylent Green - It's People!' during the New York riots of 2022. The following months of lawsuits eventually forced down the stock of the company to the point where bankruptcy was declared in 2024. Soylent Green wrappers are still a collector's item to this day." - From A Dog Eat Dog World: Business During the Lean Years by Robert Godin, Random House, 2035.

• YouTube: Soylent Green trailer (Time: 3:25)
• IMDb: Soylent Green
• Wikipedia: Soylent Green

• • If there's just one foodstuff responsible for Eric Cartman's girlish figure on South Park, it has to be these take-offs on Cheetos, which the 8-year-old is rarely seen without. (Well, I suppose all those Snacky S'mores and Casa Bonita sopapillas aren't helping). In Season 2's episode "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods," he even gets a chance to sing the Cheesy Poof anthem on national television!

• Slogan: "I love Cheesy Poofs, you love Cheesy Poofs, if we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs, we'd be lame."

• YouTube: "I Love Cheesy Poofs" (Time: 0:15)
• South Park Studios: Clip: The Plane-arium
• Wikipedia: Eric Cartman

• • While other big boys have all the in-your-face marketing glitz you'd expect from a company with nothing to hide, there's always been a part of me that loves letting shadowy cabals determine my consumer fate. And to nurture that side of me, I present Hudsucker Industries: a cigar-loving board of directors, each one a more money-grubbing profiteer than the other. These are the loving hands that gave you the hula-hoop (you know...for kids!), the bendy straw, and the frisbee while they malevolently drummed their fingertips and watched their stock go through the roof. What a lovable bunch of entrepreneurs.
• YouTube: Hudsucker Proxy Clip (Time: 8:00)

• • Blue Sun is the Coca-Cola of the 26th century - that is, if Coca-Cola was experimenting on people's brains with surgery and subliminal messages. (And maybe they are - been to the Coca-Cola museum recently?) Their logos are ubiquitous in the Firefly universe, and their operatives - who also seem to have some government role - are super-creepy. "Two by two, hands of blue..." There's an actual Bluesun company in our world that sells food and drink. Could this be what they evolve into?
• YouTube: Ariel (teaser) (Time: 1:17)
• Wikipedia: Blue Sun
• Quantum Mechanix: Blue Sun Travel Posters
• ThinkGeek: Blue Sun T-shirt

• • Inspired by the works of Elmore Leonard, Quentin Tarantino has created a world in which his characters, and in this case cigarette brand, cross over into his various films. Butch Coolidge and Mia Wallace smoke Red Apples in Pulp Fiction. The Bride walks by a billboard for them in Kill Bill. A character references the brand in Deathproof. Ted the Bellhop smokes them in Four Rooms, and a pack is visible in the Gecko Brothers' car in From Dusk Till Dawn.
  • YouTube: Butch and Vincent Scene (Time :57)
• Wikipedia: Quentin Tarantino
• The Quentin Tarantino Archives: Red Apple Cigarettes

• • Soul Glo...Back in my jheri curl days, you best believe Soul Glo was a part of my every waking existence. With a spring in my step on the sidewalks of Queens, Soul Glo gave my curls the radiance they needed, and provided me with a special kind of glow in the depths of my inner soul as well.

• YouTube: Soul Glo commercial from Coming to America (Time: 0:37)
• Wikipedia: Coming to America
• Urban Dictionary.com: Soul Glo

• • This one is a true, old-school throwback, folks! In a classic episode of I Love Lucy from 1952 entitled "Lucy Does a Commercial," Lucy becomes the spokesperson for Your Saturday Night Variety Show's sponsor, Vitameatavegamin. Little does Lucy realize, in addition to vitamins, meat, vegetables and minerals... the product has an incredibly high alcohol content as well!
• Motto: "Are your tired? Run down? Listless? Do you poop out at parties?"

• YouTube: I Love Lucy: Vitameatavegamin (Time: 9:22)
• TV Acres: Vitameatavegamin
• Lucy Vitameatavegamin Animated Doll plus DVD (Lucille Ball from I Love Lucy) (Sponsored)

• • If you remember this spoof SNL commercial from 1990, you probably remember David Spade's "bad idea" at the end: "Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, 'when am I going to make it back to Haiti?'" But not as many remember the very bad ideas offered by the other clueless fathers (Phil Hartman, Kevin Nealon, Mike Myers, and Bob Odenkirk) featured in the ad. Watch and squirm as they stretch before their big b-ball game, conveniently advertising their ugly stone-washed designer jeans. Who are they about to play? There's a C-note on the line.

• MySpace Video: Bad Idea Jeans

• Transcript: Bad Idea Jeans

• • Duff Beer is not just the favorite brand of Homer Simpson, it's the default brand among all of Springfield, USA's many residents. (On the one occasion when he asks for an alternative to Duff, Moe the Bartender initially tries to fool Homer by drawing an umlaut over the brand name and calling it "Doof, from Sweden.") One must venture all the way to Shelbyville to find its main competitor, Fudd. But that doesn't mean Springfieldians don't get a chance to mix things up on occasion - Duff's many varities include Duffenbrau, Duff Dark, Duff Dry, Duff Ice, Duff Zero, Lady Duff, Henry K. Duff's Private Reserve, even Tartar Control Duff. To quote spokesperson Barry Duffman, "Oh, yeah!"
• Slogan: "Can't get enough of that wonderful Duff."

• Hulu: The Simpsons: Clip from "One Flew Over" (Time: 0:31)
• Wikipedia: Duff Beer (The Simpsons)
• MySpace: Official Duff Beer profile
• The Simpsons Archive: Advertising of America's Beer Companies and the Duff Corporation

• • When Buffy's life went to hell in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she got a job working at the fast food chain Doublemeat Palace. The burger chain was well-known for having a secret ingredient. What was it? Buffy thinks it's people - but it turns out it's actually a mix of processed vegetables. Later, when the character Wesley on the spinoff, Angel, needs to consult an all-knowing, all-seeing idol, the idol is revealed to be not some deity, but the Doublemeat Palace equivalent of the Hamburgler.
• YouTube: Rat Race (Time: 1:25)

• • GloboChem, the favored corporate overlords from HBO's sketch comedy series Mr. Show, owns 29% of the globe and produces 83 new products per minute. Unfortunately, they have something of a public image problem. Maybe because it's run by a fatty. Or maybe it's that whole "used to be a slave-trader" thing. Enter marketing experts David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, who introduce GloboChem's new mascot, the magical pan-sexual Pit Pat!

• Old Slogan: "We Own Everything So You Don't Have To"
• New Slogan: "I Love You!"

• • More than a brand, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is an empire. Established by Fred and George Weasly, two of the Harry Potter series' most endearing characters, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is your one-stop shop for pranks, jokes and magical farting machines. Currently in stock: Edible Dark Marks, Wildfire Whiz-Bangs and U-No-Poo.

• Slogan: Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who? You should be worrying about U-No-Poo—the Constipation Sensation that's gripping the nation!

• YouTube: Fred and George Fan Video (Time: 3:49)
• The Harry Potter Lexicon: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
• MuggleNet: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

• • Dunder Mifflin is more than just a paper company, it's...well, okay, it's just a paper company. Or, more exactly, a Micro-Cap Regional Paper and Office Supply Distributor. But that doesn't stop the gang on the NBC series The Office, and their stalwart leader Michael Scott, from trying to make the best of their situation. Whether it's steamy office romances, exhilarating "fun runs" on behalf of those suffering with rabies, or the annual award show The Dundees, Scott finds his own ways to appreciate the glory of Dunder Mifflin. Or at least kill some time.
• Hulu: The Office: Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Part 1 (Time: 21:53)

• • The Mooby's hamburger chain was introduced in writer-director Kevin Smith's Dogma and provided the main setting for Clerks 2. Its iconic mascot, Mooby, is like a dark alternate-reality vision of Mickey Mouse, and originally referenced the Old Testament stories about Hebrews angering God by worshipping a golden calf.
• YouTube: Clerks 2 trailer (Time: 2:00)
• Wikipedia: Mooby the Golden Calf

• • Morleys have found their way into a variety of fictional universes. Most notably, they are the favored brand of the Cigarette Smoking Man on The X Files. The Morley packages perfectly replicate the look of Marlboro's, and the name "Morley" itself may derive from the abbreviated nickname for Marlboro's - Marleys.
• YouTube: X-Files clip: Mulder confronts CSM (Time: 3:21)
• Wikipedia: Morley Cigarettes

• • The fictional video game company that contributes features to the Homestar Runner website. Most of their games resemble the more primitive games of the 1980's, including perhaps their greatest achievement to date, the text-adventure Peasant's Quest.
• YouTube: Peasant's Quest trailer (Time: 2:00)
• Official Sites: Videlectrix.com | Homestar Runner