Ask A Ninja is a popular video podcast/blog performed by Beatbox Giant Productions. The character is played by Kent Nichols, a writer/comedian from Los Angeles

1. "Giving a ninja something black is like giving crazy to Angelina Jolie. It's like giving guns to Master Chief. Like giving boobs to Dolly Parton. We already have plenty."
2. "Do ninjas write poetry or are they just murderous shadows of death, put on earth only to act against mankind?... Wow! I didn't realize those were the only two options."
3. "Most ninjas live until they die. Some a little bit longer, some a little bit shorter. It just really depends on how much metaphor they apply to the idea of life."
4. "Have I stolen the hearts of a few ladies? Guilty! Unfortunately I was not able to return them before they bled to death!"
5. "If a ninja does anything ANYWHERE, it doesn't make a sound, and if it does, it'll probably be the last sound you ever hear."
6. "Will you please leave us alone? My relationship with physics is my business."
7. "If people really realized how rude and inconsiderate badgers were, they would get a lot more mascot work."