Apu Quotes

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is a character on The Simpsons who owns the Kwik-E-Mart. Voiced by Hank Azaria. Apu is an Indian-American immigrant who spends most of his time working.

Apu came to study at the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology legally but did not go back to India after receiving his PhD in Computer Science. After living and working in Springfield for years, he purchased a fake identity from Fat Tony's organization. He was caught and forced to apply for U.S. citizenship, which he eventually was granted after help from the Simpson Family.

• TheSimpsonsQuotes.com: Apu Quotes
  • "Mr.Simpson, a Twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Mounds is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is NOT a sprinkle!"

• • "Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know."

• • "Tonight I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!"

• • "Homer, you are asleep at your post! Now go change the expiration dates on the dairy products!"

• • Homer: "No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz."
  • Apu: "Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again."

• • "Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella!"
  • Google Video: Apu's Kwik-E-Mart Song

• IMDb: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes
  • Interviewer: "Apu, there are rumors that you are a Hindu. Is this true?"
  • Apu: "By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie."

• • Bart: "Hey, Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it!"
  • Apu: "Ooh, a head bag. Those are chock full of... heady goodness."

• • "Oh! I feel like I'm floating on a river of corpses."

• • Apu: "The aspirin is $24.95."
  • Marge: "$24.95?"
  • Apu: "I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle."

• • "Even though my religion strictly forbids military service, what the hey."

• • "Thank you for coming! I'll see you in Hell!"

• GotWavs.com: Apu Quotes Wavs & MP3s

• • "Please do not offer my god a peanut"

• • "I won't lie to you... in this job, you WILL be shot at..."

• • "It is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my God... but OK!"

• Fan Site: Apu Quotes
  • "Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor."

• • "If you survive, please come again!"

• • "Now this is just between me and you...smashed hat."

• • "Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead. How I've missed you!"

• • "Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie."

• • "You ducks are really trying my patience...but you're sooo cute!"