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2 years, 7 months ago via

Would you serve a friend with an alcohol problem a drink?

If you had a friend who you knew had been "on the wagon" because of a drinking problem ask for a drink at a party you were hosting would you serve them or not?
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buddawiggi2 | 2 years, 7 months ago
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There is a slight difference between problem drinking and alcoholism and it is usually the time of progression of a disease, alcoholism. Problem drinking is usually the early stage of alcoholism. As that is I would treat a problem drinker as an early stage alcoholic.

And therefore...

I absolutely would not. Alcoholism is a deadly disease and once a person is diagnosed either by themselves or a doctor there should be no turning back. An alcoholic will not just have one drink the physical compulsion to drink will return and within a short time the alcoholic will be drinking again.

It is the first drink that kills the alcoholic once he/she has determined that alcoholism is the diagnosis. Picture it like this if you were struck by a moving train what train car would kill you? The first one, the rest would run you over but the first one would be the deadly one. Giving a friend a single drink if they are an alcoholic could be giving them the drink that kills them.

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suniquejwl | 2 years, 7 months ago
3
I would serve him a drink. If he really wanted a drink he would get one. maybe go some where else and get one and get in trouble. Me serving it I could monitor and control his drinks to a degree

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shewolfsilver | 2 years, 7 months ago
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No, I would not. I would have some non-alcoholic cocktail alternatives so they would have some choices and maybe not feel so out of place.

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djcwoman37 | 2 years, 7 months ago
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Absolutely NOT! Why would you even consider serving an alcoholic beverage to someone who has a problem drinking? It would not be fair to the person who has the problem and I think you would probably feel pretty crappy if the drink you so happened to give them, opened them back up to non-stop drinking that continually and progressively got worse. Don't even put them in the same room with that kind of temptation.

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thebandit | 2 years, 7 months ago
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I would not serve a drink to a friend with an alcohol problem. That would be being an enabler. Whatever short-term appreciation my friend might have for the drink will be overshadowed by any relapse or long-term problems that'd probably result. Sometimes what's best for a person isn't what they want.

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philipy | 2 years, 7 months ago
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If we're good enough friends that I know he's had a drink problem and has been on the wagon, we're good enough friends to have a conversation about his request for a drink. I'd likely start off with: "You're drinking again? What's up?" and go from there.

It's highly unlikely that I'd end up serving him the drink, but as his friend I'd take a lot more responsibility for helping him than just saying no. Like finding out if something triggered the relapse, maybe encouraging him get back in touch with AA or whoever helped him before, and at the very least letting them know they can count on me if they're struggling with their addiction or anything else.

Is it theoretically possible that they could convince me they've got rid of the problem, and they can handle a social drink now and again? Yes, it's possible depending on how serious the problem was, how long it's been since it was a problem, and what's changed in their lives since.

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rob1981 | 2 years, 7 months ago
3
No I would not. If the person has a drinking problem, they shouldn't have any drinks. I'm not going to contribute to their problems. As a friend, I would make sure they avoid alcohol as much as possible.

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gamchep | 2 years, 7 months ago
3
Dear all
Defintely not. If you know that ur friend has an alcohol problem and serve him a drink, it is akin to feeding him poison. Not only should u not give him a drink, but u should not take one in his presence also. Stopping alcohol is a very stressful thing. One has to have a lot of willpower to do so. They need all our support and at all times.
Regards
gamchep

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psionandy | 2 years, 7 months ago
4
No, I wouldn't. Although I'd offer them a soft drink instead and I'd probably stick to soft drinks myself whilst they were there as a sign of support.

Serving him alcohol would be the equivalent of kicking my friend with a broken leg in the shin....

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cmajaski | 2 years, 7 months ago
3
No I would not serve him/her the drink. Sure they'll probably get the drink anyway, but I'd feel better knowing it wasn't from me. Sometimes people will consider a drink and just need a nudge to remind them they don't really want one. I'm not saying to give them a long lecture about being "on the wagon" and "you know you really shouldn't drink, Charlie. Remember what happened last time...". I would just simply say I couldn't serve them the drink because I care about them. If they want to get one from somewhere or someone else, that's up to them.

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drivel's Avatar
drivel | 2 years, 7 months ago
4
Whether or not your friend wants to be "on the wagon" or not is his decision not yours. Whether or not you serve him a drink will have no affect on whether or not he gets a drink elsewhere.

It is far better if he does any drinking it is in public and not in private and in secret.

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