Why hasn't my bf proposed yet? And how long do I wait?
When I ask him why he hasn't proposed yet, he says he's not romantic and he can't figure out a way to ask me "romantically" enough. And he says he's scared to be romantic cause he's not a "googly" guy. We have mutual friends who have been in relationships less than us and are already engaged, married and/or have kids. It causes me to feel resentfull towards him.
So... with that said, what should I do?
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M$4 Answers
I don't want to hurt heart you, but this is what I have to say about your situation.
You have been living with him for around four and a half years. That is more than enough time for him to think about getting married to you or not.
He bought an engagement ring eight months ago, and yet, he has not put it on your finger. That is kind of strange. As if, he just bought it to 'trick' you so that you stay with him for some more time.
When you asked him why he has not proposed you for marriage, he said that he did not know how to do it properly. You have been friends for ten years, and yet, he does not know how to ask you for something that is so important. Suppose that he hesistated before for some reason (for instance being afraid), but that should no more be the case after you talked to him about it. So, either he is using you, or he has someone else on his mind for marriage, or maybe he is waiting for you to ask for it.
If you want him to be your husband, ask him in marriage yourself. If he accepts, that would confirm that he was waiting for you to make the 'first step'. If he rejects for some reason, then there is something wrong. You should probably talk to your parents and ask them what they think.
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
Here's the thing; you gave him an ultimatum, and when the date came, you let it go. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour (to quote Dr Phil!) and so he has no reason to think that you won't let it go again, and again, and so on.
You need to decide if you're okay with your relationship as it is right now, or if you'd rather be on your own, pursuing other relationships. Those are your two choices because you can't control anyone else's behaviour - just your own. If you're not happy and want to choose the latter option, you have to be completely ready to walk away. FInd an apartment, pack your bags and leave. If your boyfriend would rather have you than be alone, he will propose. If he would rather be alone, then you are starting your search for the type of relationship you want sooner, rather than later.
I know it's hard to be ready to walk away from someone you love, but just because you love someone doesn't mean that they're the person you're meant to be with. I honestly wish you the best of luck with your situation, however it turns out.
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
