Which hobbies or habits will make you lose respect for someone the second you see them do it?
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M$19 Answers
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M$
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M$
That is the most ignorant thing I have heard anyone say in recent memory. I work with addicts almost daily and I can assure you and everyone that addicts are for the most part very smart individuals.. with a disease. I am an addict. Are you calling me stupid and irrational? That is ignorance. Addiction is a disease and you might as well say that you lose respect for someone because the have cancer or Parkinsons disease or glaucoma etc . I hope you do not come down with a chronic disease that allows people a prejudicial way to pass negative judgment on you.
I lose all respect for someone when they decide that they will lose respect for someone else for having a habit like smoking, a habit they most likely want to stop and no doubt will be having a hard time getting out of. The intentions of the person smoking are not visible and the history of a persons smoking are not visible when one sees them smoking and the trivial minds that lose respect for a person for this are the minds of the people that I lose respect for as soon as they open their mouth and figuratively scream "I do not have the ability to see a larger picture".. like in this question.
I am not defending smoking. I am defending the addicts and the progressive disease of addiction. Smoking is a side effect of a disease and should be seen as such not judged as less than respectful. A person who smokes has a disease and you losing respect for them as a result of their disease is disgraceful "Get a lot of flack"? You bet!! and you should get a ton more. You have displayed a remarkable lack of knowledge and a less than average understanding of addiction.. the average is pretty low mind you. I am surprised that you are considered a reasonable human by anyone.
Smoking is a terrible habit that kills millions and costs millions but it is the small mindedness of the general public (for the most part) when it comes to addiction that really boils my blood. To free oneself from addiction is the hardest thing anyone will ever do and most anyone (save medical personnel) not addicted will need to open their minds a bit to see a larger picture. Losing respect for someone because they smoke is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard.
Personal opinion
Personal experience
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M$
If we are born with a genetic predisposition to be an addict the yes a walk through a smokey room would certainly be enough to begin the progression of the disease of addiction with a manifestation in nicotine. The inability of either me to make this point or folks to understand it is what I am talking about.
If one was born with a genetic predisposition to having cancer and one was to encounter a carcinogenic environmental factor then that would be enough for the cancer to begin its deadly progression and the person with cancer is not looked at as it is their fault they came down with that deadly progressive disease.
Before you say "but they must have chosen to be in that carcinogenic environment" I have the example of my own mother. She passed away from lung cancer and never smoked. How did she get that progressive disease? She somewhere in her life passed through a carcinogenic environment and the progressive disease of cancer began its progression.
So Yes it is completely possible that a person born with a genetic predisposition to being an addict somewhere in their life encounters an environment that triggers the deadly progressive disease of addiction to begin its progression and the environmental factor might just be that smokey room filled with nicotine or that cold medicine filled with alcohol.
I am only asking that we drop a prejudice.. not rewrite history.
I am asking for people to allow for the possibility that not all addicts chose to be addicts and therefore should not all be considered at fault for having the disease and for that allowance to be enough to remove a long overdue for removal prejudice.
Pretty harsh words, but that's okay - you're passionate about the subject. In the future, though, please feel free to educate Mahalo users without the need to eviscerate them. One person I respect the most in life is my sister who, mind you, smoked. She smoked for years - with friends, by herself, in the car. Then, one day, she decided she would quit. And you know what? She did. Just like that, *poof*, done. Never another cigarette. Now maybe she's not "the norm", but that's *my* experience with nicotine addiction. You might have your own, but I've seen it beat without drama of any sort, so I know it's possible. "Losing respect for someone because they smoke is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard". No, it's not, and let me rephrase my initial statement for everyone so they can make a little more sense from my initial implication and understand why: I immediately lose respect for these people *not* because they're "addicted" - but because most of them made the conscious decision to *start* smoking in the first place! Being one of the stupidest long-term decisions someone can make with their life it will, naturally, influence my perception of you and your decision making skills.
Whether or not the intention of his statement was humor or not does not detract form its ignorance. One can tell all the "Ni**er" jokes of other racially insensitive jokes they want funny or not they are still ignorant.. and passing judgment on _all_ addicts just because of one single experience with his sister is just ignorant.
I mean no disrespect Corey..but we addicts.. every single one of us.. every s i n g l e one of us ... 100%.. are manipulators and liars.. again I mean no disrespect but I have a well educated hunch that your sister has had a smoke after she told you she quit.
@coreymac has a keen sense of humor, so I think "my respect for their intelligence as a rational human being plummets. " is due to humor mainly
WOOT to the power of infinity
+1 from the smokers
Yes they are harsh words and no your sister is not the norm. I will educate a bit here. Not all addicts chose to be addicts and not all addicts chose how their disease would manifest itself, a lot has to do with environment.
1. Addiction is a progressive disease that has no indicators until the addiction manifests itself in behavior (smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc) and by then it is too late. The addict has now pretty much been taken over and will likely suffer the same fate as other addicts.. long term recovery rates are staggeringly low..and addiction kills.
2. Not all scientists subscribe to the "Addicts are genetically predispositioned to be addicts" but some do and so do I. So if an addict is born an addict and addiction is a progressive disease then the rest is environment. All it would take would be one environmental factor to set the progress of a specific manifestation to begin the progression.. this progression never stops even in long term sobriety... from nicotine or whatever.
A single exposure to that factor by choice or not by choice would be the decider of the manifestation of that addicts addiction. If one were to walk through a smokey room.. poof.. a nicotine addict is born.. if one were to swallow a 40% alcohol cold medicine.. poof an alcoholic is born etc etc.. each addict has the same disease but each addict has their own specific manifestation of addiction.. "what's your poison" Progression is very slow like cancer and one might be addicted and not know (usually) until they start showing very negative side effects to their behavior.. loss of jobs.. trouble breathing.. DUIs.. not being able to stop.. etc
I am not saying all addicts are formed by a not chosen environmental factor but some are or at the v e r y least the possibility is there for that to be the case so before anyone starts passing "I lose respect for them i n s t a n t l y" judgment I would recommend they open their eyes to the possibility that like cancer and the environmental factors not chosen that cause that terrible progressive disease to be set in motion.. an addict might not have had a choice either.
Please do not prejudge the addict. We are not all the same.
I can see where Corey is coming from when he mentions that it's not about addiction, it's more about starting smoking in the first place. You said that if you walk through a smokey room you can get addicted to nicotine? Would someone get addicted to cigarettes by walking through a smokey room? I don't think so. One still has to make the conscious decision to go out and buy cigarettes and then smoke them. I don't have an addictive personality so maybe I don't truly understand it, but I think if you never start smoking in the first place, it would be hard to get addicted to cigarettes.
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M$
I have 4 kids and let me tell you, sometimes you simply HAVE to yell at them. It's a loud house full of monsters and if you don't yell, they don't hear you or listen. If you see someone screaming at their only child in public, that's not cool but when you have 3/4 kids screaming and fighting over a water gun at the park, you have to lay down the law. Loudly on occasion.
Yah, I agree, having raised four myself and now dealing with hordes of grandchildren, sometimes you have to raise your voice to get their attention. It's people who yell at kids for no reason who have a problem.
I don't think bad of someone who steals a loaf of bread to feed their starving kids.
I don't think bad of someone who throws a tissue out the window, when it will biodegrade. I don't think people should throw buckets of trash, plastic or Styrofoam out the window.
I don't think bad of someone who yells at their kids. I personally yell at my child constantly "get away from the road" "stop doing that, you'll get hurt" "I told you nicely to stop doing that and now you will listen and stop it"... This is much different than verbally abusing your child.
Now what bothers me very much is when people are so judgmental, especially before knowing all the facts.
Nothing to do with a cigarette bothers me as long as the people smoking them are respectful of others. I don't want someone blowing smoke in my sons face, but honestly I've never had that happen.
I have been to chicken fights and many people will probably think that makes me a bad person. Well I did feel bad after attending them, didn't really know what it was all about. But folks, all these people have been brought up to think that this is okay behavior. If you are raised from being an infant to think that chicken fighting is okay, then you more than likely don't view it as harsh once you get older. You think it's a part of life. While I don't think it's natural to put spurs on them, roosters will naturally fight. Personally, I do think it is trashy, but I am not going to hate the people around me that do it.. especially when they was born into farms that did it.
All of this stuff is learned behavior and I hope they see their "mentors" in life were wrong and try to do better. Abuse of sorts is a whole another issue that I don't really want to get into... but in some ways, it is a learned behavior. Addictions are sad and anyone who is not an addict should just be thankful that they never started or had problems to make them want to.
People are quick to judge when they don't have all the facts.
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M$
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
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M$Who the hell chooses that out of all the other hobbies. I just can't handle it.
As far as habits, I can stand most anything but people who let their houses smell like urine because they have a habit of letting animal dookie sit on the floor too long is pretty bad.
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M$
Right now malls are so dead in the U.S. (at least around here) that if you enter a department store you will be assailed with chirpy, insincere how-are-you's! every five minutes or so. I've left stores over it--it gets intrusive. Like, I'm fine--I was fine five minutes ago, still fine. Back off? Please? I've had the same clerk greet me multiple times in the space of ten minutes because they forget they already greeted me with fake concern/happiness and they are in terror of forgetting to do it because--what? They must hang them upside down or something if they miss somebody.
I also hate eating in restaurants and getting a server who keeps interrupting a conversation I'm having with my partner or friend just to make a big show about how great a server he/she is. Then, when I DO actually need something, nobody is around.
I sound like a witch but I'm not, seriously I'm not. I just get tired of the BS.
Can't we go back to when people were just polite and acted like human beings?
I'd like that. :)
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M$
I can't stand this. I know that many companies are going overboard on the customer service issues. I used to work for a company that required us (no matter how busy) to speak to everyone who walked by us, even if they had been by us before and we were to ask if we could help them find anything every time. Annoying to me, so why would I want to do it. However, we would get punished , up to being written up, if we didn't.
I think it's all about this new corporate style of micromanaging every last burp of every last employee. They're down to quantifying the particles of lint janitors must pick up on a per hour basis, I swear. I spent eight years in call centers, and people know that you HAVE to say certain things, and it honks them off--and I don't blame them! Toward the end I just started being myself and it really hurt me, but I didn't care. What an awful job.
Our local hardware store is like that. If I go in there and know exactly what I want they're all over me but if I need help nobody's around! And then when they do help me find what I want they stand close and won't leave me alone to make a decision. I have to tell them "thank you" and shoo them off.
That is just crazy. It hasn't reached that stage here, as far as I can tell. Oh please let it stay that way.
The day that people make hard rules for human interactions, and put those above common sense and intuition and real skill and experience, is the day that the world turns crazy. And ta-dah! I give you.... this crazy world. :)
I guess even if it doesn't sell a brand to intelligent people, perhaps it sells more antidepressants, stress medications, alcohol.... *sigh*
I have to agree that there seems to be a great deal of sheer stupidity that goes along with the the intent to sell, sell, sell, and make more money.
It seems to me that in some places and some businesses or corporations, someone has just decided at some point on techniques that they think sells more. I don't understand how this kind of behavior can actually sell more overall or be good for business in the long-term. Even the people who can't say no and will buy under pressure will probably never return again and will most likely not say anything good about that particular retailer to friends and family.
The goal should instead be to give customers the best and least annoying experience from start to finish, with whatever way they are exposed to a company or product. And use common sense, not high pressure on salespeople which will gradually turn them into neurotic scary creatures.
Below is a great video on breaking any bad habit.
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M$
What if she had pulled out a couple of really great vintage cigars and offered you one?
Would she still of been a done deal?
http://www.mahalo.com/cigar
Yeah, smoking cigarettes or cigars are both bad for you.
Even though I wouldn't classify the following as hobbies, perhaps they could sneak into the "habit" realm of this question; in any case, they are definitely cause for loss of respect:
1. Bigots, those who are intolerant of others or prejudiced and find themselves to be superior;
2. Bullies - similar to above, but with a more explicit tone of self-righteous physical abuse;
3. Cursing, cruel people - whether you're yelling at your child or 'significant other' - this type of behavior always makes me want to stare these people down and suggest some good self-help therapies.
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M$
She once held a slumber party (I had comped a hotel room for her) with over a dozen kids and drank herself throughout the party and before bedtime I could tell she was a functional drunk.
Those kids were her responsibility and what if something had happened to one of them, then what?
I agree with the smoking but that is nothing in comparison when a woman is functionally intoxicated and out about town with her elementary age children.
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M$
Spitting on the street, bad language, calling people names and gossip would be next in line.
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M$personal opinion
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M$
Habitual complainers are on my list of people to avoid. Sorry, but I don't need to hear about aches and pains or venting of life's unfairness. It's not easy, but healthier, to replace negativity with positive thoughts.
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
Just plain gross. For all of you that bite your nails,Remember one important fact when you put that finger in your mouth,No matter how much you wash your hands......They have not invented puncture proof toilet paper yet.
All that nastyness under those nails.........YYYYUUUUUCCCCKKKKK
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M$
I only feel shame of doing things only in front of those, I don't want. Smoking is bad habit but I will not loose respect till someone have value for me capture me.
We only care in front of those we like or have sincere attachment.
SO it happens most of the time that our friend or closer catch us doing some foolish things - bad activities by their own thinking. again it is related to own thinking and perception.
But we must care others feelings.
SO there is no general habit or hobby like or dislike by everyone. But in our society there are somethings unlawful or unacceptable; like; smoking, abusing others, too much criticisms, evil habits, or any unfair with moral respect.
And those who perform these activities regularly and without any difficult or reaction have because of the environment they live in, the brought up they have. Some families or social groups create their own values and have some habits not like by others but popular in their own environment, so if other people try to follow them (which is not right decision) loose respect.
Thanks
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
