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2 years, 3 months ago

Whats your best dirty limerick?

Pleace share your best dirty limerick as answer to this question and make sure to post the source from which you got the limerick if it is not made by yourself.
If you don't know what a limerick is please feel free to discover from the links here:

Warning: Dirty limericks is not quite made for children.

Wikipedia article on limericks:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Some examples from YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqqtpMKS77Q&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch#v=GmW_XMSyehM&feature=related
Tip for best answer: M$1.15
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cherise's Avatar
cherise | 2 years, 3 months ago
3
This is the dirtiest one I know. It still makes me blush:

"There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose c**k was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
Wiping sperm from his chin
If my ear was a c**t I could Fuck it!"
source(s):
I learned it while working at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire.
No one ever let anyone get past "Nantucket".
It was kind of a game.

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bunnyphuphu's Avatar
bunnyphuphu | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

OMG! You win the L&L... hands down! (sorry Wayne)
I love it!

http://www.dailyblush.com/images/embarassing-party-rabbit.jpg

rspears01's Avatar
rspears01 | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

Hands down...hilarious.

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bunnyphuphu's Avatar
bunnyphuphu | 2 years, 3 months ago
25
My favorite limerick is a classic. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I found it posted on Zillagorilla.

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Makes me giggle every time...
images:

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tealmyster's Avatar
tealmyster | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

....that is definitely a good one!! That poor dog...did he really need to be brought into this??

p.s. I found the dog that put little Martini in a funnel...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_b90ly-S-hkw/R9ryINrKRSI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/7T5FsXfU5CI/s400/stoute_hond.jpg

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ritzy's Avatar
ritzy | 2 years, 3 months ago
4
I know so many, but this is my all time favorite, I giggle every time I thing of it!

There was a young girl from Rabat
Who had triplets: Nan, Tat and Pat.
It was fun in the breeding,
but hell in the feeding,
as she found she had no tit for Tat.

Animals of course dont have this problem, doggy girl here has plenty of tit for cat!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lVvM5tfzc3w/RkymwIJxdvI/AAAAAAAAASI/FR6FwKwK09k/s400/dog.jpg

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wdawe's Avatar
wdawe | 2 years, 3 months ago
8
Here is my favourite dirty limerick I just made up.

There once was a bunny named phuphu
Who liked to dance in a tutu
One day on a dare
she skipped underwear
when she bent over the view was a lulu
source(s):
my brain
images:

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bunnyphuphu's Avatar
bunnyphuphu | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

The Conservative Bunny Union (CBU) as deemed your limerick as lewd and lascivious.

*please note that limericks aren't really any good without the L&L label

http://www.dailyblush.com/images/embarassing-party-rabbit.jpg

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tealmyster's Avatar
tealmyster | 2 years, 3 months ago
11
I have two favorites.... the first

there once was a woman named Jill
who swallowed an exploding pill
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
and her tits in a tree in Brazil

my second favorite is

there once was a plumber from Lee
who was plumbing his girl by the sea
she said Stop your plumbing,
there's somebody coming!
said the plumber still plumbing... It's me!

***Hopefully neither of those were in the videos my sound card doesn't work!***

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bunnyphuphu's Avatar
bunnyphuphu | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

I love the exploding pill too! That's one of my favorites.

I THOUGHT I'D TYPE FOR YOU IN ALL CAPS SINCE YOUR SOUND CARD ISN'T WORKING... THAT WAY YOU CAN STILL GET A VISUAL LOUD EFFECT GOING.
(giggle)

tealmyster's Avatar
tealmyster | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

lmao....thanks Bunny!!! Leave it to you to make me nearly pee myself!!

http://meowcheese.com/files/lolpics/2008/06/laughing-cat.jpg

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elcelt | 2 years, 3 months ago
3
There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes
One was so small
'Tweren't no ball at all
The other one won several prizes!
source(s):
Learned 30+years ago, no source.

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edkunde's Avatar
edkunde | 1 year, 4 months ago
0
A girl from North Carolina
known for her enormous vagina
as wide as the Grand Canyon
you can fit a whole man in
and deep enough to tunnel to China

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eccles's Avatar
eccles | 1 year, 5 months ago
0
There was a young Miss named Baker,
had a mouth near as big as an acre.
On an overseas trip,
she fell off the ship,
and blew the whole isle of Jamaica

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anonythemouse | 2 years, 3 months ago
2
Fond memories of stupidity from childhood....

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the mantelpiece,
To see if they would make friends....

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front,
Every time the wheels went round,
The spokes stuck up her inside leg

Old Mother Hubbard,
Went to the cupboard,
To get her poor doggy a bone,
When she bent over up popped Rover
And gave her a bone of his own*

*I think that can be attributed to Richard Digance, very funny gentleman.

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rspears01 | 2 years, 3 months ago
9
I have two...

There was a young girl called Annie
who had a peculiar fanny
she went to the doc
he said thats a c**k
now everyone calls her Danny.

And...

There was a young lady from Eeling who had a peculiar feeling
she lay on her back and opened her crack
and came all over the ceiling
images:

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rspears01's Avatar
rspears01 | 2 years, 3 months ago Report

Had to share - my husband reminded me of one -

There once was a man from Nesass
Whose balls were made out of brass.
In stormy weather, they clanged together
and sparks shot out of his ass.

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trmbngrl | 2 years, 3 months ago
3
There once was a poet named Crewe
Whose limericks stopped at line two.

I'm sure it would have gotten dirty soon...
source(s):
My brother. But I found a version of it here:
http://www.kith.org/logos/words/lower/l.html

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