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2 years, 2 months ago

what would god tweet?

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buddawiggi's Avatar
buddawiggi | 2 years, 2 months ago
24
Please will you people I created in My Own Image STOP listening to pat robertson http://bit.ly/cI5VIt Everthing pat says is wrong. #stoppat
source(s):
just guessin

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buddawiggi | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

pat robertson is the American televangelist that has accused Haiti of making a pact with the devil and that was the cause of the recent earthquake.(1).. pat has also accused homosexuals, anti Christian groups, and the ACLU etc of being responsible for the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11th,2001 and the destruction left on the wake of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. (2)

~quote from pat
"The ACLU has got to take a lot of blame for this. And I know I'll hear from them for this, but throwing God...successfully with the help of the federal court system...throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad...I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen."
~endquote (2)

Thats why God would want to let His twitter followers know not to believe or listen to pat robertson.

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mielu_istetz | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

Lol. I am not sure who Pat is but you made it so authentic.

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seanmc74's Avatar
seanmc74 | 2 years, 2 months ago
4
Creating new universe. Much better then my last one.

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philipy's Avatar
philipy | 2 years, 2 months ago
8
God's tweetstream would possibly go like this....

> How many times do I have to say it people? Love thy neighbor as thyself.

> Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And believe me buddy, that ain't you.

> As a transcendental non-temporal omnipresent being, no I don't have an iPhone. But if ever incarnate again, maybe... #iPhone

> @richarddawkins .... LOL.

> Please be aware, the universe will go down for scheduled maintenance in 35 minutes.

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rachnh's Avatar
rachnh | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

"Please be aware, the universe will go down for scheduled maintenance in 35 minutes." that's fantastic. rofl

lidyax's Avatar
lidyax | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

LOL. I really love the 2nd one. I really really wish God would twitter that to the whole people in the universe in daily basis. Including me because we are all forget from time to time, some more than others.

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marlene's Avatar
marlene | 2 years, 2 months ago
7
Don't Make Me Come Down There!

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colonial butros's Avatar
colonial butros | 2 years, 2 months ago
6
Sorry about all the recent earthquakes. Lost a bet with Beelzebub.

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colecchi's Avatar
colecchi | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Went bowling today. Mrs. God was sad and crying, forgot our anniversary. Many prayers to make the thunderstorm stop. Ruined my perfect game.

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rachnh's Avatar
rachnh | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

LOL loves it.

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sober2t's Avatar
sober2t | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
I heard your prayers, now Trust Me

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iskander's Avatar
iskander | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
@ Science

LOL you guys crack me up. Keep trying *wink*

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victoria_reid's Avatar
victoria_reid | 2 years, 2 months ago
4
I have a patent on the word "Tweet" because I created the bird! Cease and desist, or I shall smite thee! Ninnies.
source(s):
Twitter

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kmcgrady's Avatar
kmcgrady | 2 years, 2 months ago
4
Hello twitterverse! I can see everyone of you right now, whether you are following me or not! Haha!

Just a guess.

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browneyed's Avatar
browneyed | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

Lol. Interesting!

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csmagor's Avatar
csmagor | 2 years, 2 months ago
3
WWID (What Would I do)?

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victoria_reid's Avatar
victoria_reid | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

This takes special honors for brilliance.

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jakking's Avatar
jakking | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
The Ten Commandments at 14 characters per.

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rdmcurator's Avatar
rdmcurator | 2 years, 2 months ago
7
I love you. I've always loved you. Even before you were formed in your mother, I loved you. I always will love you. I hope you will love me. (It's a twoosh. God speaks in twooshes.)
source(s):
The gifts God gave me.

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rdmcurator's Avatar
rdmcurator | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

Also the following twoosh that he wrote a long time ago:

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

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justin_time's Avatar
justin_time | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
HAHAHAAHAHHA

God would never be able to tweet anything, because no one would know what to do to be able to follow him. A lot of the links submitted to Follow God on Twitter wouldn't work or they would be an imitation of the real thing.

Later, everyone would figure out what few knew all along, you can't follow God by clicking on anything external because:

"Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you."
Luke 17:21

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kayabbot's Avatar
kayabbot | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
I'm not a Republican!

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legend69's Avatar
legend69 | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Personally I think God would tweet, look at society and see if it is following a holy path. Or, do you really know what your children are doing with their cell phones.

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rachnh's Avatar
rachnh | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Due to the fact I just finished watching a Michael Moore flick, and I'm all crunk and what have you from it... I would think it'd go a little somethin' like this ;)

"Get your heads out of your *BEEP* stop screwing each other over, work together and things we'll get done. People have more power than they realize, unite and use it and fight for what you believe in. Don't be scared of the government, make the government scared of you!"

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articlewriterph's Avatar
articlewriterph | 2 years, 2 months ago
0
If God would use twitter I am pretty sure he would reassure us that He is always with us. Despite the uncertainty of life He never fails to show his unconditional love through a series of unexplainable event. If He would use technology He would eventually tell us to keep our hopes up. If things does not happen the way we plan He would surely have a better plan for us. Be reminded that He sent His only son to save us. Therefore if there is life there is always hope.

Always remember that "If Christ is with us, who can be against us."

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bgvianyc's Avatar
bgvianyc | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One

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tomburk's Avatar
tomburk | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Tweet:

Stop being so full of yourselves, meatbags. There are a billion trillion other stars

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rsunset327's Avatar
rsunset327 | 2 years, 2 months ago
3
Nothing because he doesn't exist?

Maybe: You suck, I've moved on to aliens now.

haha

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browneyed's Avatar
browneyed | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

:P

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albanian's Avatar
albanian | 2 years, 2 months ago
19
I think the Goddess would tweet:
"OMG! U R so ♥"

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23silver's Avatar
23silver | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
danm office work too much paperwork (what it means: ni wish for the old days)

sent monster 2 NY (obhious)

8 brkkies (ate breakfast)

killed ppl ( took care of the ratty faced people problem)

created new planet (just beyond pluto i call it "planet X")

turned heating up (global warming)

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mattimaticus's Avatar
mattimaticus | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Stop fearing hell and hoping for heaven. Appreciate all that surrounds you rather than what is below and above you.
source(s):
Personal Experience

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christina_r's Avatar
christina_r | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Love one another as I have loved you.

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eyecandy's Avatar
eyecandy | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
God's tweet would probably goes like this:
Hi sweetheart, could you please take time off from your busy schedule and hangout with me? It's been such a long time since we hangout with each other and I really do miss you.
Love,
Jesus
P.S. I Love You!

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ai-ai's Avatar
ai-ai | 2 years, 2 months ago
15
No one knows what God thinks as He is Almighty, All powerful and no one can measure His knowledge. I hope He can forgive me for answering this question.

Maybe, God will tweet like:

> People, please change now, I am coming. Do prepare yourselves so you will be fit to be in my kingdom...
images:

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albanian's Avatar
albanian | 2 years, 2 months ago Report

What gets me about people who say this sort of thing is that they have been saying it for some 1500 years or more. Don't they have any sense of time, history, or common sense? Enough already.

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kostik_y2k's Avatar
kostik_y2k | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Who's there?

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ohox's Avatar
ohox | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
"i would rather tweeting than study"

There's a fight a'brewin' outisde. I want to call the cops, but at the same time, by the time I do, they'll probably be done. maybe god can save them. *from mantia
source(s):
follow @thermouse ^_^

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stephenfroberts's Avatar
stephenfroberts | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
"Hey! Get off my lawn you lazy kids!"

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browneyed's Avatar
browneyed | 2 years, 2 months ago
2
Perhaps something like

"Hey @Scientists, you've still not discovered the real thing?! Get to thinking deep, lazy bums. Ahh...C'mon!"

:P

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