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3 years, 5 months ago

What would be the proper "pay back" for my wife letting her passport expire and causing us to cancel a trip?

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carriep's Avatar
carriep | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
If she's anything like me, she probably already feels horribly bad that she messed up. I don't think pay back is the best option here. I know you are probably angry, very angry, but it's best to let it go and move on as best you can. Everyone makes mistakes at times, some are bigger mistakes than others, but having a forgiving attitude will help you in the long run if and when you make a mistake.

Try to work with the place you were going to see if you can travel to that location at a later date, especially if there's already money down on the trip. Seeing how bad the economy is right now, perhaps the vendors will be to work with you on this. After all, they still want business.

In the meantime, try to look on the bright side. You will have more free time during this holiday season, and some extra cash, perhaps to go somewhere local, or save up until you can go on the trip.

At any rate, make sure that your wife gets her passport renewed the first thing for the new year, so the problem doesn't happen again.

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eastwind87's Avatar
eastwind87 | 3 years, 5 months ago
5
Marriage is about working things out. Plus, I'm sure she's feeling pretty darn guilty and regretful already. Have a good laugh out of it - tell her it's rather silly that she would forget something as important as this, but that it'll be a good lesson for the future. Meanwhile, enjoy the time off that you have together and be appreciative -- no one wants to spend time arguing with her husband when the alternative was a vacation.

In the future, give her a friendly reminder when these things come up. It's her responsibility to be on top of these things, but it's your responsibility to help her be more mindful.

Good luck!

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beni's Avatar
beni | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

haha.. true! Sometimes I really appreciate that in my country, I can have a new passport issued within 20 minutes. More than once, I was on the airport and had to take advantage of that very useful service! :-)

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lrz | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
I think you should let this one pass. After all - it's a holiday season and the main thing is that you are all together. Will it be a sunny Bahamas or a white cold Norway - who gives a damn - just enjoy the holiday =]

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xinpheld | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Marriage is a team effort. While the majority of the responsibility was on her to get it done, it's not all her fault.

Was she actively neglecting getting it renewed? Maybe she really didn't want to go. If that's the case, than you may have a larger issue on your hands that simply forgetting to renew a passport. It may have been either a passive-agressive or unconscious protest to the trip itself or some larger issue that the trip represented for her.

Is she forgetful? So are lots of people. Help her figure out a way to priorititize and get organized. That will not only help get past the issue, but will also help prevent things like this fom happening in the future.

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seyonwerdna's Avatar
seyonwerdna | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
No payback is necessary. I'm sure your wife didn't intentionally let her passport expire to hurt you, so there is no reason to intentionally hurt her back.

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electricbrain's Avatar
electricbrain | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Treat her extra nice and maybe she'll feel a little extra regret about having messed up your vacation. She'll probably go the extra mile to try to make up for it more if you do that than if you try to be negative about the whole thing. Lead by positive example rather than negative.

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au071's Avatar
au071 | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Maybe a joke or two once in a while, but nothing serious; unless you want her pay you back with divorce papers.

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jonathanross's Avatar
jonathanross | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Add all these important dates to yours and her calendar/ Outlook/ PDA/ Google Calendar (shared) so it doesn't happen again e.g. passports, credit cards etc. with auto-reminders.

Does she need pay back or is the guilt/ inconvenience a lesson learnt?

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sit vis vobiscum | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
set her computer background to the lemon party picture, and have two girls one cup automatically start playing when she accesses the internet.

nothing to0 harsh, but gets some humorous revenge

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m1sael's Avatar
m1sael | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Just forget the whole thing. If you guys are going to live "paying back" at each other, better get separated.

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ryanscott's Avatar
ryanscott | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
I think you should just grow up a little. Revenge has no place in marriage. You will never have an ideal partner until you yourself become one.

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skitt's Avatar
skitt | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
Going without her...That should have been your response.

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skitt's Avatar
skitt | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

I guess I could have gone there, but I figured that was too obvious...

hartwell's Avatar
hartwell | 3 years, 5 months ago Report

yikes. you forgot to add: "take her sister or best friend, who has a valid passport"

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rhoda's Avatar
rhoda | 3 years, 5 months ago
4
You should have traveled alone.

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hartwell's Avatar
hartwell | 3 years, 5 months ago
11
Take her to knott's berry farm instead of wherever you were going.

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