What is the earliest age at which a child can be taught not to do something?
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M$5 Answers
There are two schools of thought about moving things around, away from little hands. Which one you employ depends only on your parenting style. There is no wrong answer.
Leave things out
By doing this you'll teach the child that it isn't ok to touch things on tables and things that "are't his / hers". You'll spend a lot of time chasing the child around, but he/she will learn the word "no" quickly. The other advantage to leaving things where they are is that while visiting friends or family, the child will know (after being told a couple of times) what can be touched and not.
Put things away
In my house, we transformed all but my office and bedroom into kid friendly areas. With 2 kids over 4 years (they're 4 ans 1), giving them spaces that we all can be comfortable in was important to us. In my office and bedroom, the kids visit, but they know what not to touch.
Yes, your 9 month old can start to learn the word no. However, consider how often you would like to say it
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M$However, there are ways to deal with this issue that will keep everyone happy. If you haven't done so already, you need to child-proof your home. Obviously, dangerous substances and objects should be kept out of his reach, but also expand that to anything you don't want him touching being out of his reach. You can learn more childproofing ideas here:
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/safety/makinghomesafe/
An excellent way of dealing with this issue is putting things you are okay with the child grabbing in his reach, where they wouldn't normally be. For example, if your child is grabbing items from a shelf, move the things you don't want him touching to a higher shelf, and put things on the lower shelves that you think he would be interested in. Think about what types of objects he is drawn to and put a safe-version of that where he can reach. For example, a child of a friend was repeatedly grabbing this bowl of decorative balls she had on a table. She would take it away from the child and put it out of his reach, and the child would incessantly cry. Finally, she realized that she needed to replace it with something she was OK with him touching. She purchased a few toy balls of various sizes that he had never seen before and put them in the same bowl on the table. She didn't show them to him, but rather just left the toy balls there for him to discover on his own. Once he finally did, he, of course, pulled them down and played with them. Only this time, the mother didn't become annoyed and the child still got to play.
Another way of accomplishing the same thing is having a replacement object handy to give the child when he grabs or pulls something you don't want him to. If possible, put the object you don't want him touching out of sight, and then give him something similar, only appropriate. This way, the child's curiosity will still be fostered.
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M$
You misunderstood what I was saying. Did you even read my entire answer? My point was that of course you can condition a child to not do undesirable things by telling them "no!" or other harsher reactions, but there are much more effective ways to teach them.
Nope.. didn't read your entire answer. I read the first line and then stopped reading, made my mind up, and then made my ignorant comment.
Understanding is not a prerequisite for learning. Pavlov clearly shows that conditioned learning can be accomplished for animals as well as humans.
Hope you enjoy!
www.ted.com
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M$With your words, and, more importantly, with your energy, you can teach babies what is appropriate and not appropriate. Just eliminate the word "no" from your vocabulary (see my article: http://www.kivaspirit.org/blog/?p=13).
My wife and I never changed the layout of our home (baby-proofing) and did it without using the word "no". Did it take up a lot of energy? Oh yes! Did it take a lot of effort and focus? You bet! If you want a long-term THINKING child, it takes quite a bit of effort...
I'd also like to recommend the book How To Raise A Thinking Child by Myrna Shure (and her workbook). Also did a podcast with her: http://www.kivaspirit.org/blog/?p=135
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M$
Except... there are more than two "basic schools of thought". I'm not going to enumerate each and every one. Just the one that I've found most useful... especially after hearing details from many (many!) parents in how they parent.
I disagree.
Your answer takes a single sided view of an issue that is determined by the parenting style one chooses to employ. Too often child psychologists, advisers, authors and other seemingly qualified people convey a solution to parenting problems with a single sided, condescending view. Your answer is a good example.
"If you want a long-term THINKING child" deep consideration must be made not only to the environment of the child but also to the parenting styles of the entire family.
My family decided that our children are best raised in an environment that invited them in rather then made them uncomfortable. To us, having a living room full of toys rather than intricate decorations provides a half-way point between the adults we are and the children we have. Inviting them into our lives without negativity (even when the word no isn't used) is important to us and is raising a couple of nice kids. This was my choice based on my professional and personal experience, qualifications and observation.
I maintain that there are 2 basic schools of thought regarding this specific question and that in this medium, the best answer will come from a decision based on the facts presented. Not a single sided view.
More than 2?
You can either put things away or not.
I suppose that there are varying degrees of putting things away and not putting things away. However, you either put them away or you don't.
This site is the only parenting site with no fluff, adds, or BS.. Just straight and real information...
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M$
Yup, you're right. Should have used the word "before".
Actually, babies start learning BEFORE they are born. There have been plenty of studies to show this to be true.
I'd also like to suggest that there are alternatives to learning the word "no". In fact, "no" is so ambiguous, it tends to be not very useful. Check out an article I wrote about this very word: http://www.kivaspirit.org/blog/?p=13