What can I do to prevent my first born from being super jealous now that our new baby has arrived?
What can we do to mitigate this problem? We already talked to her several times, explaining how we don't love the baby more than her and she's still "the big sister." How long will this behavior continue?
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M$4 Answers
I also found ways for the older kids to help. With my second child, my first was only 2 1/2, so he couldn't do a lot. But he could bring me diapers. He risked killing her with kindness because he wanted to hug her so much and didn't know his own strength, with the result that by the time she was 6 days old she'd see him coming and straight-arm him. It was hilarious to watch!
She was 5 1/2 by the time the next one was born, and we made very sure to emphasize that she finally got to be a "big" sister. She was still going to be a little sister, but we made it seem like a promotion, complete with t-shirts, badge, and even a little tiara. It helped that the youngest is also a girl. We had her help by of course bringing diapers; having her sing to her (make sure you record that; it's priceless); having her tell the baby stories; making her sort of a protector by having her watch the baby briefly while I did things like use the bathroom or got myself a glass of water. My husband and I tried very hard to make the position of "big sister" seem as important as possible.
In retrospect, she still had to adjust, but I think it was a lot easier and happened with a lot more ease than if we hadn't prepared her and made it a big deal. Now, at almost 11, we've just started seeing rivalry. She's beginning to look like a teen, while her little sister is still a preschooler, having just turned 5. There are more demands on her now, while her little sister is still very young, and she's finding that hard to deal with. But when her little sister was newborn, the adjustment period was pretty easy.
I have 3 kids, and this is something we dealt with ahead of time as much as possible
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M$
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
I used to be a preschool teacher, not an authority on the subject, but some personal experience
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M$
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
That sounds like some good advice. That stuff is hard to do the first week, but we will implement some of it. We've been exhausted and have all we could do to adjust. Having the second one is easier than the first, so far, but I didn't expect my older daughter to be this jealous. I could see things such as the "nobody loves me" behavior, but I don't understand the brattiness. She's acting like someone else's kid. It's strange!