What are the best comebacks you've ever used or heard?
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M$10 Answers
You say: "If I wanted some c*m back, I'd scrape the roof of your mothers mouth."
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M$
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8
... and if this video isn't good enough for you, you can always crawl back down into the toilet you were born from!
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M$
The "event" wasn't funny at all, but the comeback was spectacular - I live in a rural part of Kentucky. The day after Obama was elected it was a nightmare at the local post office. Some people were using some language I'd prefer not to hear or repeat. My best friend said "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I thought it was about time the White House got a paint job". You could have heard a pin dropped. It was awesome.
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M$
1. Do you feel low? answer: I feel so low, I have to look up, to look down!
2.How low do you feel? answer: I feel so low, I could sit on a piece of toilet paper, and dangle my legs!
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M$
It really is a good comeback and I have discovered works in almost any situation. For example if someone says something to you, you can turn it around and say, "Your mom (whatever they said) when she had you." It just works haha.
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M$
At a 1912 dinner party, Lady Astor became annoyed at an inebriated Churchill, who was pontificating on some topic. Reaching the end of her patience, she blurted out,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Churchill famously replied:
"Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
I read this somewhere recently and it cracked me up,
Girl: How do you do
Guy: How do you want me to do ;-)
I also like reading Saki's writings, especially the characters Reginald and Clovis for their witty retorts.
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M$
There is one other way to win and that is to switch from the intelligent and good natured jibing to horribly personal and scathingly brazen with the insult that will be the one and might have a hope of ending and therefore winning the dozens.
So right after your homie tells you something about how stupid you mom is ... say...
"Ya well your muthas chest hair grows right down to her c**k"
This will either win the game or start a fight.
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M$
At a BBQ this summer I had a friend who wanted to be smart in front of his son who is now 19. So he made a few comments and I let them go. When his son started laughing I couldn't leave it at that. So I asked him in front of the kid "have you ever had a c*nt around your neck?" Of course thinking of sex he said "no." So I asked him"what were you born out of your Father's azzhole."
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M$
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
George: "Well, the Jerk Store called and their running out of you!"
Reilly: "What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller."
George, unprepared for this ends up using Kramer's line: "Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!"
He is then told that Reilly's wife is in a coma.
wikipedia
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M$
OMG! that's a great one!
...and you french kiss your mother with that mouth?!