Well you have to first understand that I have played and coached baseball for years at a pretty high level. Then try to understand that young ball players are mostly a confident bunch. Well, my wife and I had attended a friend's wedding. In point of fact, my wife was the maid of honor. So, after quite a few drinks, (beer, schnapps, Amaretto, Tequila and others), I guess I was pretty loaded. I also tend to hold my alchohol pretty well and avoid that dumb drunk look and wobble. Well my wife and I (we were early 20s) left the wedding) with me behind the wheel. That is the last I remember other than being in my car and the cops knocking on the window asking if i was okay. I do remember telling them I was fine, just tired. My wife told me the entire story the next day. When we left the parking lot, I had passed the ball field and turned in, then around the back of the fence and past the dumpsters, over first base and into the outfield, finally stopping just before the ditch dropoff at the far back of the field. I turned the car off and went to sleep parked in mud and snow. My wife took the keys and couldn't wake me up or get me out of the driver's seat. This was before Cell Phones so she climbed out of the car, then climbed over the fence and went across the street to some apartment building. At 3:00 AM in the morning she started pushing buttons. Finally someone answered and came down to let her use their phone. Well actually they did not let her come in, they made the call to my brother for her and he came and picked her up. I guess it was during this time the cops had talked to me, but when I wouldn't roll down the window and just went back to sleep they left me figuring the car was stuck in the mud anyway. She said they came out and got me and took me home. The next day She woke me up and I had to get the car. Well first thing I seen was a muddy bride's maid dress. The next thing was my car at the back of the baseball diamond. BUT hey WOW, it wasn't even stuck in the mud and I drove it out and home. Best part; my wife never mentioned anything about it except at parties or when a good laugh was warranted. Of course there was the time my freinds and I were in the park woods late at night, drunk and playing army so I could practice since I had been drafted ans was leaving the next day. Gee! Why did you ask this question? I could go on and on and I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS A DRUNK. Tee Hee, Ho Ho LOL. Good question. Brings back good times.

I might regret saying this but oh well!

I was 16, one of the first times I really drank excessively, and we were using the beer funnel. I should of known better because the last time I used the beer funnel, I ended up 20 hours away in California. I obviously didn't think, so I was sitting on the floor, and a friend of mine decided to pour Malibu Rum into the funnel. That stuff tastes amazing to me, so I can drink and drink and it doesn't bother me. So I guess we had later figured out it equaled about 16 shots straight. '

I was okay for about, 5 minutes. After that I don't remember a thing. Unfortunately the video reminded me. A guy friend of mine who was kind of a creeper was following me around the party the whole night, well once I got hoozled he I decided it was okay and he started video taping. I was yelling "Hey you! Stalker boy! Follow me! We have adventures to go on!" So he followed me all around this house, video taping everything I was saying and doing. I was going up to every person, even my best friend of 14 years, introducing myself, saying "Hi there I'm Teal, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name..." It was horrible, I forgot everything, and everyone. So After about an hour and a half of me walking around introducing myself to people, some people more then once my best friend Linda at the time apparently had the same funnel experience, and she was doing the same thing, but trying to get everyone to go upstairs with her. So I decided it would be a good idea to shut her up and give her some Everclear. So I managed to pour some into a Styrofoam glass, and give it to her, and I poured myself a glass to. We both sat on the couch, at this point I was spinning, I think she might of been as well, either that or doing the night at the Roxbury head bop.

So we both drank about half the glass and we passed out, the guy left the video recorder on and you could see the Everclear starting to drip out the bottom of our glasses as we slept and managed to hold them upright, it was eating through the Styrofoam. Well within 10 minutes she was snoring, drooling and the liquor was all over her.

I ended up sneezing in my sleep and falling face first, onto the floor, legs still on the couch because I was sitting cross legged, and I didn't wake up til roughly 7 hours later. I woke up to the carpet, and my friend using my rear as a pillow.

Very eventful night, I find it pretty funny, I still get teased about it. I have NOT funneled anything since that night, nor do I ever plan to again!

Great question! I'm interested to see everyone's hilarious answers!

Easy-peasy... I woke up in the morning in the middle of a bed of people and said, "Why does my butt hurt?"

(It wasn't for the reason you're thinking...)

After watching the movie Bottle Rocket (1996) which is a hilarious movie with the three Wilson brothers. Me and some buddies went party hopin in gainesville florida. We go to random parties and drink with people we don't even know. Its fun and its free. Anyways, there is a character in Bottle Rocket named Apply Jack and this guy wore an African hat. Well we in this house we met this old homeless black guy who obviously had just come in for some beer; this guy looked like Apply Jack!! We talked to him for awhile and he told us he was a veteran. Some how we all ended up stomping and claping as Apply Jack was signing soul; I couldn't understand most of what he said other than the chorus that we all sang which was "I've been workin' on the chains". For about fifteen minutes in some random college students house me and my friends sang with a black homeless guy who we named Apply Jack. It was so ridiculous, so funny.

It was about eight or nine years ago. It was a friend of mine's birthday. We had a couple of beers and went dancing. When we came out of the club, we realized that someone had stolen my car (a little red Miata)! And, we were like, 'oh well, we should probably just take a cab anyways and worry about the car tomorrow!' And, that'sexactly what we did. My car insurance was pretty good at the time, they lent me a free car rental which was a hundred times better than my car! So, we sobered up and went cruising around in a new SUV that the insurance provided for free. I had to give the rental SUV back because my stolen car was recovered a couple of weeks later!

How strange to be drawn to this question on my first visit to this site. I'm sure it is something I'll ponder on a bit later. Although my days of intoxication are now few and far between, I have quite a repertoire of painfully funny incidents. One I fondly remember is from a Halloween party. I'm sure it was Halloween because I was dressed up in a Harem costume but I've forgotten the year. I loved that costume and I know I looked hot. I was totally grooving on the party and enjoying all the attention I was getting and doing shots of Wild Turkey 101 proof (slightly gagging). For some reason, I wandered off and found myself in another room. As I walked in, imagine my surprise to find some other chick with the same costume on! I ran up to her and excitedly gushed how unbelievable it was to have the same costume on. I was floored and offered her a drink. After a minute I realized I was holding the drink out and talking to myself - the wall was completely mirrored. That sobered me up, a little.

My 17th birthday I was in San Felipe with a friend, my Dad, and Step Mom. We all started drinking about 6pm on Saturday. I was fairly shy at the time so felt a little out of place in this tiny town full of dance clubs haha.

We just stuck with cheap beer and mixed drinks for a few hours as the place really started hopping, it was as packed as Disneyland in that little place. I couldn't dance and a nice Mexican lady came up and offered to teach me how. I said "Ok" since I had more than a few drinks.

She taught me all kinds of moves for about 1 hour, nothing too nasty and no kissing or anything like that. My Dad comes over and pulls me to the side and starts pointing at his neck and yelling. I didn't understand anything he said so we go out the front door. He says "That's a man" and tells me to look at the adam's apple.

Sure enough, it was a man. I was super embarrassed told them thanks for the lesson and left. My friend was nowhere to be seen by then.

I went to a different club and went inside. The booze was really hitting me by now. I had another drink, used my new dance moves on a bunch of other tourists, and had a blast. For about 20 minutes. The throbbing music plus my drinking inexperience hit me like a semi. I waddled over to the bathroom but all the stalls were locked. I did the only thing you can do in that situation. I grabbed a urinal for dear life and threw up until I passed out. I vaguely remember 4 Mexican guys removing me from the floor, someone wiping my face with a towel and gently setting me against the wall of the place outside.

Next thing I know, my Dad is carrying me to the car and throws me in the backseat with a sleeping bag (they were here to stay up all night and party). I wake up covered in puke and gum and it's about 105 degrees. Also, it's 7AM!!! Holy crap, I slept for about 3 hours then woke up in a searing hell covered in gum. I guess they found my friend asleep at a quiet old mans bar and the locals just left him in the booth and laughed all night. He was outside in the sand asleep.

The best thing was, my Stepmom had been secretly keeping tabs on me and taking pictures all night. That's a special part of the photo album!

Although I am ashamed to say, there have been a few things that have transpired while I was intoxicated, however, funny, I Should Say Not, there is nothing funny about A Classy Lady embarrassing herself & loosing the respect of others & her integrity......
The Great Fall of a Woman, which others will never let you forget.....

Let’s see, where to begin?

I had two teachers in high school that were married, Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. They had a son, Mike, who was a friend of mine. One week Mrs. Jacobs was out of town, chaperoning a field trip, so Mike planned a quite party. His dad didn’t know about this party so we all had to sneak into the big garage. Out of about 12 people my friend, Sarah, and I were the only girls but we were having a great time. Like most quite high school parties it did not take long for things to get out of hand. We started playing one drinking game after another. Sarah and I were trying to keep up with our burly football player competition, which is always a bad idea for girls weighing only 100 pounds. Before long Sarah and I both decided we needed to use the restroom. We refused to pee outside like the boys so we decided to sneak into the house where our Science teacher was sleeping.

Neither of us remembers having trouble walking to the house, even though it was dark, but once we got inside that all changed. Mr. Jacobs’s bedroom was in the same hall as the bathroom. His door was open and we could see him sleeping so we figured we were in the clear. I remember that Sarah went in the bathroom first and I hide in the living room so I could not be seen if Mr. Jacobs woke up. I do not remember Sarah coming out of or me going into the bathroom but I remember the whole conversation that I listened to while I was in there.

Mr. Jacobs was talking to Sarah. He asked her what she was doing, where Mike was, and if she released that it was 2 am. Sarah responded to all of his questions; “I am here for a part...get-together”, “Mike’s in the garage playing beer pong”, and “Is it 2 am already, my how time flies”. Then Mr. Jacobs informed her that it was time for the “get-together” to be over. Shortly after that I must have exited the bathroom but have no memory of that. Sarah said that I also spoke with Mr. Jacobs but she could only remember that it had something to do with vodka being part of my science fair project.

The next morning, hung over and all, I had to walk into Mr. Jacob’s first period science class. He gave me a lot of good natured ribbing over the next two years but it was all worth it.

As an ex dancer my story goes this way. I used to be a major drinker because there was alcohol and we were allowed to drink. I am on the stage doing my first audition tipsy as can be I swing around the pole showing off and my stiletto shoe flew off and landed directly in a guys lap. I am trying to keep dancing and finally as the guy shows up to bring me my shoe he said "You must have great aim!" I put my shoe on while my face was still red turned around after the audition was over and the boss was like "Ok if you can throw your shoes at someone and still manage to stay on the stage you have a job." For my first audition I made great tips that night. One reminder though, if you can dance on a stage while tipsy but can't walk on the floor then you might be seriously drunk!