Mourning someone lost is an individual process and can take months or years. I remember visiting an aunt 2 years after my uncle died unexpectedly, and she could not say his name without weeping. Now many years later, she talks of their life together and remembers him with smiles and laughter, but I know a part of my aunt will mourn the love of her life until she dies.

When I lost my father several years ago I was in denial and refused to accept his death, so I didn't begin the mourning process until a year after he died and I could deal with no last goodbye and feelings of guilt because I didn't think he knew how much I loved him.

Whether or not one believes in an afterlife where loved ones are reunited, there is nothing in the world that can fill that empty place where one's father or friend or child lived and loved and interacted with you. The loss of a loved one's physical presence is the hardest thing, especially when the loss is sudden or untimely or the person is too young.

If you worry that you're dwelling on your loved one's death too long or have family or friends who tell you it's time to 'move on', each day will get better. Maybe you can pick one day a week to take a walk where you might have walked together or watch a sunrise or sunset and think about your loved one and the life you shared. All your memories together will keep the person alive in your heart. Think how fortunate you are to have made those memories with someone whom you loved and who loved you.

There are resources like grief counselors and support groups. They may be useful to you because you can talk about your loved one with others who have suffered a loss. They can also keep you from becoming incapacitated by your grief.

I will always miss the loved ones I've lost, but I smile when I think of happy times with them. I try to be happy, live my life fully and dedicate special days, like an extra beautiful early morning run, to their memory.
Source(s):
My source is my life. I lost my first husband when my daughter was a toddler and thought my life was over. Now my daughter is 37 and I'll celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my darling husband. I have friends who've lost children, parents, spouses, friends. Life is the best teacher in this regard.


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