Should I feel guilty about giving my honest opinion to my best friend?
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M$8 Answers
You both get to learn from this particular circumstance.
You're friend learns that if she is going to ask you for your honest opinion, she's going to get it. And eventually, she may figure out that its the hallmark of a good friend. She may just need to process your opinion, there's no need to apologize, especially if you really believe what you said.
You get to learn that when this friend asks you for your honest opinion, it may not be what she really wants. Use that information however you want. If she asks you for your opinion again and you want to tell her the truth but don't know how she'll take it, preface it with "it may not be what you want to hear, do you still want me to tell you what I think?"
Some tips:
-if someone doesn't ask for your opinion on something personal, they may just want to vent. If you want to weigh in, ask if they want your opinion. If they say no, respect that.
-remember that the friend asking your opinion is asking for help, so take into consideration your friend's personality to word your opinion in a way that they'll best hear it.
-You could stress that its only your opinion and that you trust that they can make the right the decisions for themselves.
-If you have personal experience, tell them about that instead of giving a straight opinion. Tell them how you felt during that experience and what you learned from it. (Even if they don't follow your advice, usually it gives them the awareness to learn from their own experience).
-refer them to someone else who has had a similar experience.
I tend to be a know-it-all and obviously, I like giving people advice. Sometimes people don't take it well, the tips I've given are not skills that I've mastered but when I use them, the message gets across more than with other methods, and I find that I'm able to be more helpful and less attached to the outcome.
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M$
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
I think it is best to be honest than lie just to please her. I think that would be worst especially for you because it is hard to pretend. So just give her time because you cannot do anything about it. As long as you know that what you did is right. True friends respect each others points of view in life. That makes the friendship more exciting because you can see things in different perspectives. Although you argue but you have to agree to disagree.
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M$
Just give her some time and if you still don't hear anything from her after a while, give here a call and apologize. Not for being honest and sharing your feelings, but for saying something that hurt or bothered her.
If she's angry or still doesn't want to talk to you, I'd let it go. I wouldn't want to be in a friendship where I couldn't be honest.
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M$
I hate feeling on the spot, but it happens.
If she cares about you, she will get over it.
If not, is she really a true friend?
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M$You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
In life people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Base on her response to the situation you can put her in one of the categories.
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M$
A real friend should want someone to be honest, even if brutally honest with them. It's the rarest, most true friend. She should appreciate that you didn't lie to her. Come on, really I want a friend that tells me if my breath stinks, if I am being difficult or wrong about a touchy issue. Even if it hurts my feelings. She should be so lucky to have a best friend like you, even if it hurt her feelings. She is just holding the opinion against you surely. Why would anyone be upset with someone for telling the truth? If so, well is that really the type of friend anyone needs?
A friend told me something one day that hurt my feelings a quiet a great deal. However, it would have hurt my feelings more to have been lied too. I got over it very quickly, even though I never acted like it bothered me to my friend. I appreciated that honest answer she gave me enough to respect her.
Maybe if you talk to her you should explain which she would rather have... honesty or a lie? Maybe she will then appreciate it more.
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M$
