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My first impulse after reading your question and then reading the article you linked to was to interpret your use of the term narcissism as a layman's use and not literally the personality disorder described by mental health professionals.
To support my conclusion, I went to a mental health web site and looked up the DSM information on Narcissitic Personality Disorder (NPD).
My new conclusion? My God, we ARE a narcissistic society!
Consider that only five of the following nine criteria must be met for diagnosis, and ask yourself: "Is this common behavior today?" (source for criteria http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html)
1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement
6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends
7. Lacks empathy
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him
9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes
Are you as convinced and disheartened as I am? Wait, it gets worse. Consider this:
"The sad fact is that no known therapy is effective with narcissism itself, though a few therapies are reasonably successful as far as coping with some of its effects goes (behavioural modification)."
http://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissistic-personality-disorder-treatment-modalities-and-therapies/menu-id-1469/
So not only are we TRULY a Narcissistic society, but there is no known cure for us.
Well I for one refuse to give up. I think we cure ourselves one person at a time. Here are my suggestions:
1. Think of others instead of yourself. Try to put yourself in the other guy's shoes, try to be kind. Do something nice for someone who can do nothing for you.
2. Teach your children every day that "it's not all about you". Teach them by example. Take them to serve at the soup kitchen.
3. Cultivate an attitude and belief in thankfulness. Few of us actually DESERVE the good things we enjoy, and we ought to be thankful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2u_rEcWW8M
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This competition isn't just about sports or music, it's about life. It may just be my circle of friends and colleagues, but it seems that most people are deeply concerned with "winning" or having the "best".
I'm regularly told that I need to have a bigger house, a nicer car, a more exclusive job, better clothes and even more influential friends. Do I really need all of these things to be happy and healthy? This problem isn't just about keeping up with the Jones' or having the greenest grass. It's about being happy: an increasing number of people seem to be happiest when they feel that they're more important than others.
I think that these things are a direct result of our continued separation with society and an increasing requirement to compete (on every level) globally.
I can't say that this form of narcissism is necessarily bad, but it sure isn't very nice.
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Take blogging – I’m not talking as much about professional bloggers. Though there is a level of narcissism there, many of these people would have otherwise had a voice so that doesn’t make it a “norm.” It’s the fact that your mom blogs about her cooking or your cousin blogs about his latest marathon or your college friend blogs about managing finances…and this is normal. There are millions of blogs. I’m not saying these things are bad, but without question, it’s self-centered to think that people would care so much about my interests or opinions that I ought to publish it.
When it comes to social networking the weird thing to me isn’t that people care how many followers they have. Again, that’s not novel. People have always cared about popularity. The new narcissism with social networking is the proliferation of the “status update” – that I THINK that people I know would be interested about every little detail of my life…and I’m talking LITTLE - MrCal is “running late for work” or “annoyed at the traffic” or “drinking a nice glass of red wine”. Isn’t this magnificently egocentric? These events aren’t even exciting, but I think people care.
I couldn’t agree more that we are more narcissistic than ever. If you reply to the question differently…well, let the fact that you replied (and that you think we care what you have to say) prove you wrong. Case closed.
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In our society today, people get more competitive. Why? There are many factors of why people tend to compete with each other. There's the factor of getting happiness as @robbrown said.
Envy is also another reason. When a person envies someone who's more well off than him/her, he/she will try to put this person down and himself/herself up.
Another reason is to get attention, to be noticed. If they will become the best in what they do, they'll become popular. There are lots of people who crave for attention, that's why they do some stunts to be noticed.
Competition is okay, but when you get mean and disrespectful to others and also harmful or unhealthy to your own self, then it's not okay anymore. You can get your point without exactly hurting someone else right?
I don't exactly know how we will be able to fix our society regarding this. But starting within our selves is a good start.
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> Is anger and self-centeredness becoming the normal way to express yourself?
Anger and self-centerdness are by no mean new phenomena in the world. From what we read in our ancient histories, religious texts, myths and fictional tales throughout the ages, they've been with us as long as we've been recognisably human.
Narcissus after all is a mythical figure from Ancient Greece.
So has anything changed recently, in the US or the West generally?
Well a few things...
- People are ever less deferential to authority, whether it's people in high positions or institutions themselves.
- There are fewer consequences for breaking social norms than have existed in most societies at most times.
- There is often PR value in being outrageous.
- Since the 60s at least there's been a culture growing where doing your own thing, saying what you feel, being a maverick etc have been seen as good per se.
Where I'm going with al that is that based on what I've seen of people all over the world, and based on what I've learned about various societies in the past, I don't think people are fundamentally any different now than before.
If anything is different, it's the difference between what is said aloud versus what was kept as private thought and private talk.
I don't think it's an irreversible tendency either.
When I see civility, and lack of civility, becoming a major topic of public conversation, I think that indicates that we're reaching the point where the pendulum may be starting to swing back the other way.
> How do you fix a psychological disfunction in a society?
You don't do anything as abstract as that. What you do is deal with it in yourself and in the events and conversations that happen around you.
Actually the moment when lots of people feel "something's not right here" and "we gotta do something about this" is the moment things start to change in a culture.
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Answered Question
M$1.15
September 18, 2009 02:43 PM
Is narcissism becoming the new 'norm'?
I read an article by Ruben Navarrette Jr. this morning from CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/18/navarrette.rudeness.narcissism/index.html
who says that the recent outbursts by Joe Wilson, Kanye West and Serena Williams are not only on the rise for celebrities but our society as a whole.
Is anger and self-centeredness becoming the normal way to express yourself?
Some are blaming the internet, others say it's bad parenting.
How do you fix a psychological disfunction in a society?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/18/navarrette.rudeness.narcissism/index.html
who says that the recent outbursts by Joe Wilson, Kanye West and Serena Williams are not only on the rise for celebrities but our society as a whole.
Is anger and self-centeredness becoming the normal way to express yourself?
Some are blaming the internet, others say it's bad parenting.
How do you fix a psychological disfunction in a society?
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- Tags: narcissism, anger, ego |
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| September 18, 2009 03:26 PM |
To support my conclusion, I went to a mental health web site and looked up the DSM information on Narcissitic Personality Disorder (NPD).
My new conclusion? My God, we ARE a narcissistic society!
Consider that only five of the following nine criteria must be met for diagnosis, and ask yourself: "Is this common behavior today?" (source for criteria http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html)
1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement
6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends
7. Lacks empathy
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him
9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes
Are you as convinced and disheartened as I am? Wait, it gets worse. Consider this:
"The sad fact is that no known therapy is effective with narcissism itself, though a few therapies are reasonably successful as far as coping with some of its effects goes (behavioural modification)."
http://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissistic-personality-disorder-treatment-modalities-and-therapies/menu-id-1469/
So not only are we TRULY a Narcissistic society, but there is no known cure for us.
Well I for one refuse to give up. I think we cure ourselves one person at a time. Here are my suggestions:
1. Think of others instead of yourself. Try to put yourself in the other guy's shoes, try to be kind. Do something nice for someone who can do nothing for you.
2. Teach your children every day that "it's not all about you". Teach them by example. Take them to serve at the soup kitchen.
3. Cultivate an attitude and belief in thankfulness. Few of us actually DESERVE the good things we enjoy, and we ought to be thankful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2u_rEcWW8M
| Asker's Rating: |
• Thanks for the great answer Mr. Tryin!
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Helpful: buddawiggi, bunnyphuphu, docbrown, psionandy
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Other Answers (4)
September 18, 2009 02:54 PM
I've thought about this too, Bunny. I think that people are becoming increasingly competitive. This competition isn't just about sports or music, it's about life. It may just be my circle of friends and colleagues, but it seems that most people are deeply concerned with "winning" or having the "best".
I'm regularly told that I need to have a bigger house, a nicer car, a more exclusive job, better clothes and even more influential friends. Do I really need all of these things to be happy and healthy? This problem isn't just about keeping up with the Jones' or having the greenest grass. It's about being happy: an increasing number of people seem to be happiest when they feel that they're more important than others.
I think that these things are a direct result of our continued separation with society and an increasing requirement to compete (on every level) globally.
I can't say that this form of narcissism is necessarily bad, but it sure isn't very nice.
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September 18, 2009 03:33 PM
Good thoughts. I recently (in the last six months) have replaced "hapiness" with "thankfulness" as my goal. I'm finding that it's impossible to truly be thankful without also finding a certain measure of happiness.
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September 18, 2009 03:19 PM
Without question, narcissism is more normal and acceptable than ever. There are so many areas where this is visible (and Navarrette really does a good job outlining the major ones), but I think technology is at the forefront. Think of all of the ways that technology has made the individual feel more significant or made narcissism common. Take blogging – I’m not talking as much about professional bloggers. Though there is a level of narcissism there, many of these people would have otherwise had a voice so that doesn’t make it a “norm.” It’s the fact that your mom blogs about her cooking or your cousin blogs about his latest marathon or your college friend blogs about managing finances…and this is normal. There are millions of blogs. I’m not saying these things are bad, but without question, it’s self-centered to think that people would care so much about my interests or opinions that I ought to publish it.
When it comes to social networking the weird thing to me isn’t that people care how many followers they have. Again, that’s not novel. People have always cared about popularity. The new narcissism with social networking is the proliferation of the “status update” – that I THINK that people I know would be interested about every little detail of my life…and I’m talking LITTLE - MrCal is “running late for work” or “annoyed at the traffic” or “drinking a nice glass of red wine”. Isn’t this magnificently egocentric? These events aren’t even exciting, but I think people care.
I couldn’t agree more that we are more narcissistic than ever. If you reply to the question differently…well, let the fact that you replied (and that you think we care what you have to say) prove you wrong. Case closed.
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Reply
September 18, 2009 03:35 PM
I recently told a young man (facetiously) that I had been so worried about him because a few days ago he wrote on his FaceBook account that he was going to lunch, and then never informed us when he came back. I nearly called his wife or the national guard!! For all we know, he's still at lunch! maybe he got kidnapped or in an accident! He looked at me kinda funny, but I think he got the point.
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September 18, 2009 03:45 PM
I agree with @robbrown... In our society today, people get more competitive. Why? There are many factors of why people tend to compete with each other. There's the factor of getting happiness as @robbrown said.
Envy is also another reason. When a person envies someone who's more well off than him/her, he/she will try to put this person down and himself/herself up.
Another reason is to get attention, to be noticed. If they will become the best in what they do, they'll become popular. There are lots of people who crave for attention, that's why they do some stunts to be noticed.
Competition is okay, but when you get mean and disrespectful to others and also harmful or unhealthy to your own self, then it's not okay anymore. You can get your point without exactly hurting someone else right?
I don't exactly know how we will be able to fix our society regarding this. But starting within our selves is a good start.
Permalink | Report
Reply
September 20, 2009 12:54 AM
@bunnyphuphu.... well this is not a question that I can answer with the usual level of rigor that I aspire to in my answers. But I can give you my two cents worth, without any real supporting evidence... > Is anger and self-centeredness becoming the normal way to express yourself?
Anger and self-centerdness are by no mean new phenomena in the world. From what we read in our ancient histories, religious texts, myths and fictional tales throughout the ages, they've been with us as long as we've been recognisably human.
Narcissus after all is a mythical figure from Ancient Greece.
So has anything changed recently, in the US or the West generally?
Well a few things...
- People are ever less deferential to authority, whether it's people in high positions or institutions themselves.
- There are fewer consequences for breaking social norms than have existed in most societies at most times.
- There is often PR value in being outrageous.
- Since the 60s at least there's been a culture growing where doing your own thing, saying what you feel, being a maverick etc have been seen as good per se.
Where I'm going with al that is that based on what I've seen of people all over the world, and based on what I've learned about various societies in the past, I don't think people are fundamentally any different now than before.
If anything is different, it's the difference between what is said aloud versus what was kept as private thought and private talk.
I don't think it's an irreversible tendency either.
When I see civility, and lack of civility, becoming a major topic of public conversation, I think that indicates that we're reaching the point where the pendulum may be starting to swing back the other way.
> How do you fix a psychological disfunction in a society?
You don't do anything as abstract as that. What you do is deal with it in yourself and in the events and conversations that happen around you.
Actually the moment when lots of people feel "something's not right here" and "we gotta do something about this" is the moment things start to change in a culture.
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I guess we can only help through our own empathy and compassion.