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December 23, 2008 09:04 PM

How do you know if someone has died or if they are just avoiding you?

Is there some way to find out if someone has died or if they are avoiding you? It's someone who owes me something, so I think they are just avoiding me, but maybe they died or are missing. Most likely they are avoiding me, but there is that chance they died, and were not able to tell me.
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December 23, 2008 09:20 PM
I suggest you contact mutual friends. Perhaps someone is out of the loop if you're really being avoided. Contact as many as you can, make sure you get the same story. If it's a little sketchy, then something is up and the person is probably avoiding you. I think if they died, someone would have notified you.
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December 23, 2008 09:13 PM
Perhaps contacting their place of business anonymously and asking if the person is available. Or even asking a family member or mutual friend could get you clues on the person's status.

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December 23, 2008 09:13 PM
Yes, maybe that's a way to do it, but if they are avoiding you, that family member might start to avoid you as well. What if they do not have a "place of business" and roam about doing business?

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December 23, 2008 09:20 PM
If you have their full name you can look them up in the social security death database. It's morbid, but effective, though it may be a few months until the records are updated.

http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/

I unfortunately found that a childhood friend had died this way. I had needed to confirm the information told to me by another friend because that friend was known to be a pathological liar.

You might also search for online death notices/obituaries in local papers.

If you don't know the person's real name, because they are primarily an internet contact, you've got less of a chance to find them. Your best bet there is to talk to mutual friends, or see if you can find them in other places they hang out online--an Internet forum or some such.

If they truly owe you something, it may be the better legal and professional route to call a collection agency. That way you are protected in case the other person files a stalking or harassment charge.

Just some thoughts. Not legal advice.

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December 23, 2008 09:21 PM
Sneak up on them & check for a pulse...

Otherwise, stalk them on social networks to see if they are posting, tweeting, etc. Are they on gmail? Check to see if they are on gchat. Send them a certified letter or package that requires a signature and check the signature online. Make sure you label the package or letter to look like something they will accept.

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December 23, 2008 09:23 PM
Some very clever ideas.

Again I'd caution you to be careful here. You don't want to "stalk" this person or come across as such. I understand that you need something from the person but there can be delicate issues of privacy involved.

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December 23, 2008 09:25 PM
They do not use social networks and haven't logged on in 2 months. This is not something you want to do!

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December 23, 2008 09:32 PM
Go knock on their door.

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