2 years, 9 months ago
Please post the funniest jokes you can find.
jokes that are funny is a good brain stimulant. can your joke makes us laugh?
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M$2 Answers
one evening a little boy came home from school and ask his father to spell clitoris. the father replied son you should have asked me that last night because i had it on the tip of my tounge
this woman was being interviewed for a job the guy asked her if this would be her first job and if she had any previous working experiences. the lady replied and told him she was a whore.the guy replied no madam we can put that down.any other. she replied prostitute. the man said no no madam that is just the the politically correct word for whore. she den replied chicken farmer. the man said ah at least we can put that down.after the interview the man asked her "tell me madam ya was a chicken farmer for truth. the woman replied you know how many c***s i raised.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese:
''Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.''
A little boy was overheard praying:
''Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.� I'm having a real good time like I am.''
One particular four-year-old prayed,
''And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.''
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
''And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?''
One bright little girl replied,
''Because people are sleeping.''
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'The poor little guy starts crying. 'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying.'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs. 'I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.
this woman was being interviewed for a job the guy asked her if this would be her first job and if she had any previous working experiences. the lady replied and told him she was a whore.the guy replied no madam we can put that down.any other. she replied prostitute. the man said no no madam that is just the the politically correct word for whore. she den replied chicken farmer. the man said ah at least we can put that down.after the interview the man asked her "tell me madam ya was a chicken farmer for truth. the woman replied you know how many c***s i raised.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese:
''Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.''
A little boy was overheard praying:
''Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.� I'm having a real good time like I am.''
One particular four-year-old prayed,
''And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.''
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
''And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?''
One bright little girl replied,
''Because people are sleeping.''
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'The poor little guy starts crying. 'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying.'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs. 'I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$Report Abuse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM
Ummm. the joke was... Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, ate (8) , 9
Just kidding, I was joking lol. Ok the real joke was, well this is just one version of it. Umm the German that they are speaking is not really a form of German it is kid of gibberish, meaning made up.
"My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Awful!"
But really the joke is so deadly that we are not able to tell it here, I really do not want anyone to die from laughing.
P.S. Hey I thought all of this was a joke all in itself, you so have to watch the video clip.
I enjoyed the part at 6:34
Ummm. the joke was... Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, ate (8) , 9
Just kidding, I was joking lol. Ok the real joke was, well this is just one version of it. Umm the German that they are speaking is not really a form of German it is kid of gibberish, meaning made up.
"My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Awful!"
But really the joke is so deadly that we are not able to tell it here, I really do not want anyone to die from laughing.
P.S. Hey I thought all of this was a joke all in itself, you so have to watch the video clip.
I enjoyed the part at 6:34
You can leave an optional "tip" with Mahalo's virtual currency, Mahalo Dollars. If you are asking a difficult question that might require some research, or if you'd like a wide variety of feedback, a higher tip often leads to more answers to your question.
M$
