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August 31, 2009 04:04 PM
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People don't want to give money to an ex-spouse after an unamicable divorce. There is usually also dispute over child custody and visitation rights. The parent expected to pay child support is almost always the father, and he generally does not get the visitation rights he wants. The father almost never gets custody.
As a result, the father feels that he owes nothing to the ex-wife who got custody of the kid(s). The whole process seems unfair to him and something to be fought.
Imagine yourself in his place. He has lost his wife, lost his kids, probably also lost his house and car. Now the government is demanding he pay money in addition. No wonder there is so much resistance, not infrequently turning violent if the father becomes desperate.
In my opinion the concept of child support should be replaced or ended. Each parent should get custody of an equal number of the children if there is an even number. A single child should be alternated between the two parents. A parent who does not have custody of a child should not be forced to pay anything. A huge legal system of overpaid lawyers and wasted police enforcement has been created where none needs to exist.
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My own personal experience.
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I assume you are frustrated and cannot understand why your child's other parent refuses to care for your child financially. Use gentleness when dealing with the parent refusing to pay child support. Angst between you and the other parent can often cause a parent to refuse to pay child support. You want to behave as much like an adult as possible and at the same time treat the other parent as if they are a responsible adult. Anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc., towards the other parent is not going to get the money needed for the care of the child. Do not threaten, yell, or harass the other parent. Just remind the other parent that the child support is due and how much is due. If the parent refuses to pay or retorts in anger, do not engage in an argument with the person. Just change the subject or leave, if possible. Then, use all legal means available to you in order to collect the child support from the other parent. If the other parent is working, usually the court can garnish his or her wages. You do not want to tip off the other parent that you are going to use legal means to collect child support.
I suggest calling your local welfare office to find out how to get the process started as cheaply as possible.
Tags: parenting, support, financial, divorce, child
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Why do parents refuse to pay child support when it is for a child they brought into the world and should care for?
It see so man situations where people are fighting and even falsifying that they can't work just not to pay child support. Is because they just don't was to give money to the other parent because of some problems that had with them or they just don't feel like putting money our for their own child? Maybe something elso can you explain. I just don't get it.
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| August 31, 2009 04:36 PM |
As a result, the father feels that he owes nothing to the ex-wife who got custody of the kid(s). The whole process seems unfair to him and something to be fought.
Imagine yourself in his place. He has lost his wife, lost his kids, probably also lost his house and car. Now the government is demanding he pay money in addition. No wonder there is so much resistance, not infrequently turning violent if the father becomes desperate.
In my opinion the concept of child support should be replaced or ended. Each parent should get custody of an equal number of the children if there is an even number. A single child should be alternated between the two parents. A parent who does not have custody of a child should not be forced to pay anything. A huge legal system of overpaid lawyers and wasted police enforcement has been created where none needs to exist.
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September 02, 2009 05:22 AM
There are many reasons that parents don't pay child support for their children that they brought into this world. Some parents are not in their child's picture for one reason or the other and they feel "Out of sight means out of mind". Others can barely take care of themselves, let alone a child. And some, to be blunt just don't care. Unfortunitely this is a wide spread problem, while the government does try to help certain people out in getting child support it doesn't always turn out the way we would like.
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My own personal experience.
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September 03, 2009 12:03 AM
There is no one answer to this question, of course. Sin is the only word that can encompass every possible reason a parent would refuse to pay child support for a child they brought into this world and should care for. I assume you are frustrated and cannot understand why your child's other parent refuses to care for your child financially. Use gentleness when dealing with the parent refusing to pay child support. Angst between you and the other parent can often cause a parent to refuse to pay child support. You want to behave as much like an adult as possible and at the same time treat the other parent as if they are a responsible adult. Anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc., towards the other parent is not going to get the money needed for the care of the child. Do not threaten, yell, or harass the other parent. Just remind the other parent that the child support is due and how much is due. If the parent refuses to pay or retorts in anger, do not engage in an argument with the person. Just change the subject or leave, if possible. Then, use all legal means available to you in order to collect the child support from the other parent. If the other parent is working, usually the court can garnish his or her wages. You do not want to tip off the other parent that you are going to use legal means to collect child support.
I suggest calling your local welfare office to find out how to get the process started as cheaply as possible.
Tags: parenting, support, financial, divorce, child
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September 03, 2009 12:26 AM
I am not going through this but it get put on my lap often and I see it all around and just don't understand why the children always end up suffering. The bitterness between two parents get so extreme yet a one time they must have been happy together to have children together.
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By the way, I don't think fathers are looked at any different than mothers these days... I think family courts are much more balanced these days in custody and support issues.
The number of fathers getting custody is at about 15%, with mothers getting 85%.
bunny
My largest objection is this: A parent who does not have custody of a child should not be forced to pay anything.
So, you can create a child and not have to pay for him/her as long as they are not under your roof? That's just not the way it works. Doesn't matter if the ex has custody or the next-door-neighbor. Until you relinquish your rights as a parent, you should have to support it, both emotionally and financially.
Imagine yourself in this place. Mom and kids are emotionally abused (or physically) after a turn of events in the man's life. Mom finally gets the balls to leave him. Kids have no business getting visitation with abusive dad. His fault, he should still have to pay. He still had a part in bringing them into the world, they are both responsible. (The same would be true if reversed and the woman was the abuser.)