There are several steps to doing this. It is not something that will easily happen over night. The first and most important thing is to be honest with your child and tell them that you've spoiled them, you've given them a lot and in life not everything comes this easily. Then go over the new rules with the child, the new changes in rules, and make sure they know the consequences. Explain to them what they need to do to be responsible from now on, this day forward.

Once the child knows the rules, it's important that you enforce these rules with the child. Make consequences that will fit the rules that are broken. These could consist of taking a privilege away for an amount of time to grounding a child. Your child may resist to these at first, yet after a while they will realize that you mean what you say.

It's extremely important to understand that you need to reward your child for doing good, and following the rules. You should have a rewards system in place for good behavior. Verbally rewarding your child is good, and it's the right thing to praise your child only when they are doing what is right. It's important to focus on verbal rewards and acknowledgement more than material rewards, which only should be rewarded on rare occasions. You may want to start with a point system like the one on Mahalo Answers, or a star charting system. For instance, every day the child makes their bed, they will receive a star! After receiving 40 stars, the child can turn in these stars for their reward. Focus on the verbally praising the child for each star earned.

Make certain that the child knows the importance of sharing. Sharing could be information, their hobbies, a toy, or whatever interests your child. This will teach the child that giving is just as important, if not more important than receiving. Teach the child it's better to give than receive, and that the world does not revolve around their schedule. You can accomplish this by joining your child with cause related activities, such as helping out another family, or helping a neighbor who is in need of help. You can also take them shopping with you, and have your child pick out gifts for friends and family. This makes your child empathize with someone else. Explain to them how someone else has needs, and this will lead to more altruistic behaviors.

Keep a focus on the child's work ethics by arranging household chores for the child. Have your child fold clothes, wipe off the kitchen table, help out with dishes, cleaning the floor, etc. Make them realize that dirt on the floor does not just go away by itself, it must be cleaned up by you! Always explain to them the importance of cleaning up after themselves.

Do not change your decision once it's made. After saying "no" to a child about something, be firm with your child. Do not allow your child to have a temper tantrum and manipulate you. Be firm in this regard, and you may always refer back to their star chart, that they need to earn this reward before allowing you to say yes to something. A child can try to wear you down, but do not let this happen, as you know what's right. The minute you give in to these behaviors of a child trying to manipulate you, the minute they will think they can do it the next time.

Practice by example, and allow your child to follow a good example, and be a positive role model to the child.

Last, but certainly not least, you must be patient with a child. Rome was not built in a day, and good behaviors are not either. It takes time for a child to adjust to responsibility.
Source(s):
http://www.ehow.com/how_2158462_reform-spoiled-child.html

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