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I have invaded Canada many times myself, although it has always gone unnoticed, perhaps because my army hat was too old fashioned. The second to last time I passed an unoccupied RCMP post and did not see a single Canadian, just snow, trees, and a Willow Ptarmigan. So it shouldn't be too hard.
To make the invasion fair and a sporting proposition we should not use our army. Instead we should call up the New York City Mounted Police and whatever smaller detachments we can find from New Orleans and other cities.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TZ4zYEBSw1I/SNl79Ye8NqI/AAAAAAAAFwU/rY8xvyF-Onc/s400/mounted_police_2.jpg
With our troopers in blue and the Canadians in red we will each be easily recognised, just as in 1812.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_mclaf9YPv-Q/RtEFlncJGxI/AAAAAAAAAFg/PFy1cPOuPas/S660/01+RCMP.jpg
Imagine the glory of the massed cavalry charges and counter charges across the Peace Bridge, which would be the ideal location for the battle because the traffic web cams could capture it for posterity.
http://www.peacebridge.com/images/webcams.jpg
The invasion should be directed by Peter Jackson, who is expert in large battles, and who would be relatively neutral, being a Kiwi.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e0/Peter_Jackson01.jpg/180px-Peter_Jackson01.jpg
The benefits of conquering Canada were outlined in my answer to a previous question; but, we should bear in mind that the benefits of losing the war and surrendering to the Canadians would be rather similar. If the redcoats defeat our men in blue, imagine the boost to the tabloid industry of bringing back the Royal Family!
http://www.britishroyalwedding.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/notw.jpg
We'd get health insurance without any more of this acrimonious debate, lots of good beer, more attractive money, just to name a few plusses.
http://www.tidf.ca/assets/beer-web.jpg
But, you may point out, what if it's just a draw like last time? Well, that's what sequels are for. Just wait for Invasion of Canada III.
Tags: canada, invasion, beer, peace, mounties
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This plan does carry two HUGE risks.
1) The area we are moving across is sooo unpopulated perhaps no one will notice or care.
2) Sure we invade - great we get Canada! What next: the Canadians slowly start converting the masses to their ideals and way of life. There will be huge changes. A maple leaf on the flag. The flag will just become red and white as we will remove the colour* blue. Canadian bacon will just be called bacon! Finally and perhaps most horrific, hockey will become the national sport . . . NOOOOOOO!!!!
*we will use the word colour
If the powers that be are listening, please, for the glory of the red white and BLUE*, do NOT invade Canada!
*especially for the blue
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Quick helicopter born assault troops would then seize airports so we could land regular troops en mass. After landing main forces they would spread out to take the major cities before going into rural areas.
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Tags: defeatedcanucks, kennyrogers, slingshot
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From then on in it's a slam dunk.
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And yes the US has plans to invaqde Canada. There's people in Washington and Virginia who's full time jobs are to dream up the most obscure scenarious imaginable and write operating manuals for that scenario.
The US has a plan for occupation of Antarctica, for crying out loud... to be pulled off the shelf and implemented if for some reason it's crucial for Uncle Sam to get control of that place.
In any case... *secret*?
Yes there is a big thick operations manual, written up decade ago, as a matter of fact, for a US invasion of Canada if it be deamed necessary. There's also on for the British Isles, Holland, Itally, Germany, France, Norway, Belgium, Turkey...
The justification was that they were too important as NATO allies, such that if it ever looked like any of them might switch to a government hostile to NATO, the US would take it uopn itself to march in, kick that government out, and would order the citizens of that country to have another election, and to keep having elections, until they brought in one that was not hostile to NATO.
NATO's changed, but you how sometimes it takes the policy makers time to get caught up. Those Operation Manuals are all still there... gathering dust... but still there, and still legally valid.
Thing is... America's *never* made a secret about planning and writing any of those operation manuals. Any time a diplomat or ambassador from another country asked an american delegate if such things existed, the US ambassador would always say, "You betcha".
What they keep *secret* is the *details* of the *contents*.
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M$1
September 11, 2009 03:58 PM
What would be the best strategies for a US invasion of Canada?
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| September 11, 2009 05:28 PM |
To make the invasion fair and a sporting proposition we should not use our army. Instead we should call up the New York City Mounted Police and whatever smaller detachments we can find from New Orleans and other cities.
With our troopers in blue and the Canadians in red we will each be easily recognised, just as in 1812.
Imagine the glory of the massed cavalry charges and counter charges across the Peace Bridge, which would be the ideal location for the battle because the traffic web cams could capture it for posterity.
The invasion should be directed by Peter Jackson, who is expert in large battles, and who would be relatively neutral, being a Kiwi.
The benefits of conquering Canada were outlined in my answer to a previous question; but, we should bear in mind that the benefits of losing the war and surrendering to the Canadians would be rather similar. If the redcoats defeat our men in blue, imagine the boost to the tabloid industry of bringing back the Royal Family!
We'd get health insurance without any more of this acrimonious debate, lots of good beer, more attractive money, just to name a few plusses.
But, you may point out, what if it's just a draw like last time? Well, that's what sequels are for. Just wait for Invasion of Canada III.
Tags: canada, invasion, beer, peace, mounties
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Helpful: buddawiggi, mikew03, philipy, georgehembree
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September 17, 2009 05:43 PM
@philipy, the actual secret plans to invade Canada, as it happens, took that into consideration. They were declassified in the 1970's. Due to having been drawn up in the early 1920's, they assumed that Britain would control the seas. So we'd have to quickly seize Halifax and other ports, conduct the land war in Canada, and then gradually build up to take Bermuda etc.
I'm not sure what we could do to come to Canada's aid against ourselves, but I'm sure we could think of something. Maybe we could let the Confederate states rearm and send help to the Canadians, if that counted.
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I'm not sure what we could do to come to Canada's aid against ourselves, but I'm sure we could think of something. Maybe we could let the Confederate states rearm and send help to the Canadians, if that counted.
September 11, 2009 05:32 PM
I would believe that somewhere along the lines we have developed a strategic plan to invade Canada. Tax dollars at work. The reason would be they border our country and any other enemy could use this border against us. I believe the government has a plan of not only how to defend our country's borders but to actually invade the two country's that border us. As far as a plan is concerned I would think the easiest way would be to first, secure and defend our border with Canada and then to create a blockade of Canada's ports and shipping. Sort of starve them out so to speak. The blockade would weaken the country's defense's and the moral of the people. This strategy has been used many times before and I think it would be the best bet. Also I think that if it came down to an invasion, this strategy would prove very worthy as to weakening any defenses. This would be my plan.
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September 14, 2009 05:15 AM
Yes there is a big thick operations manual, written up decade ago, as a matter of fact, for a US invasion of Canada if it be deamed necessary. There's also on for the British Isles, Holland, Itally, Germany, France, Norway, Belgium, Turkey...
The justification was that they were too important as NATO allies, such that if it ever looked like any of them might switch to a government hostile to NATO, the US would take it uopn itself to march in, kick that government out, and would order the citizens of that country to have another election, and to keep having elections, until they brought in one that was not hostile to NATO.
NATO's changed, but you how sometimes it takes the policy makers time to get caught up. Those Operation Manuals are all still there... gathering dust... but still there, and still legally valid.
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The justification was that they were too important as NATO allies, such that if it ever looked like any of them might switch to a government hostile to NATO, the US would take it uopn itself to march in, kick that government out, and would order the citizens of that country to have another election, and to keep having elections, until they brought in one that was not hostile to NATO.
NATO's changed, but you how sometimes it takes the policy makers time to get caught up. Those Operation Manuals are all still there... gathering dust... but still there, and still legally valid.
September 11, 2009 09:50 PM
Feint with Alaska move large units across the Alaskan boarder drawing the Canadians north then move in with the main force. This plan does carry two HUGE risks.
1) The area we are moving across is sooo unpopulated perhaps no one will notice or care.
2) Sure we invade - great we get Canada! What next: the Canadians slowly start converting the masses to their ideals and way of life. There will be huge changes. A maple leaf on the flag. The flag will just become red and white as we will remove the colour* blue. Canadian bacon will just be called bacon! Finally and perhaps most horrific, hockey will become the national sport . . . NOOOOOOO!!!!
*we will use the word colour
If the powers that be are listening, please, for the glory of the red white and BLUE*, do NOT invade Canada!
*especially for the blue
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Voted as best: bossrad
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September 11, 2009 11:59 PM
The first step would be knocking out any Air Force units the Canadians may have. Then target communications to limit their planning against our military. With their Air Force out of the way we could then bomb military targets. Those targets would be fuel and supply dumps for the Canadian Army. Quick helicopter born assault troops would then seize airports so we could land regular troops en mass. After landing main forces they would spread out to take the major cities before going into rural areas.
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September 12, 2009 02:05 AM
Give Alaska's residents immunity, sling shots, and the latest Kenny Rogers album. Add alchy, sit back and watch.
Tags: defeatedcanucks, kennyrogers, slingshot
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Helpful: buddawiggi
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September 12, 2009 01:15 PM
Preparation is everything. Not many US citizens know where Canada is, so the 1st step should be a massive reprinting on maps of North America to show Canada as well as the US. These should be distributed to the armed forces, with the words "Canada" replaced with "Iran". From then on in it's a slam dunk.
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September 12, 2009 01:28 PM
I like your style. "Not many US citizens know where Canada is"... That is classic.
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September 14, 2009 05:21 AM
"Oh, hello", saith the Canucks, "I guess that means we're integrated, eh? Well, here's keys to the front door, don't forget to water the dandilions, and next time you're in Scotsdale gimme a call and we'll hook up for a drink." And yes the US has plans to invaqde Canada. There's people in Washington and Virginia who's full time jobs are to dream up the most obscure scenarious imaginable and write operating manuals for that scenario.
The US has a plan for occupation of Antarctica, for crying out loud... to be pulled off the shelf and implemented if for some reason it's crucial for Uncle Sam to get control of that place.
In any case... *secret*?
Yes there is a big thick operations manual, written up decade ago, as a matter of fact, for a US invasion of Canada if it be deamed necessary. There's also on for the British Isles, Holland, Itally, Germany, France, Norway, Belgium, Turkey...
The justification was that they were too important as NATO allies, such that if it ever looked like any of them might switch to a government hostile to NATO, the US would take it uopn itself to march in, kick that government out, and would order the citizens of that country to have another election, and to keep having elections, until they brought in one that was not hostile to NATO.
NATO's changed, but you how sometimes it takes the policy makers time to get caught up. Those Operation Manuals are all still there... gathering dust... but still there, and still legally valid.
Thing is... America's *never* made a secret about planning and writing any of those operation manuals. Any time a diplomat or ambassador from another country asked an american delegate if such things existed, the US ambassador would always say, "You betcha".
What they keep *secret* is the *details* of the *contents*.
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But the British sometimes get annoyed when members of the Commonwealth are invaded. Also as a member of NATO, Canada could call on the rest of NATO - including the US :) - to come to its defense against any aggressor.
Should the invasion plan be ready for a response like this?